Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

black-saturn

My parents always worked full time too. I didnt have any brothers or sisters. I was left to look after my own from the age of 8 and vowed I would never do that to my own children no matter what the financial rewards were. It doesn't teach a good work ethic, it just teaches your children that money is more important than them.

viktory

black-saturn wrote:

No it's not. There are plenty of SAHM married or with a partner on this board. They get nowhere near the amount of flack the lone parent ones do.

I am happy for an parent, male or female to stay at home and look after their children if that is what they want to do. My brother is a stay at home Dad. They claim no benefits and go without certain luxuries in order to pay for it.

What I object to is stay at home mums or dads that expect the taxpayer to pay for it. Forever. If you are in a commited relationship then you need to plan for a child and childcare and so on. Kids are not a right but they are a responsibility.

Obviously, if you are in a relationship that falls apart and you have a young child then you have to stay at home. I don't think locking kids in cupboards is legal! However,there comes a time when the child is old enough to take him/herself to and from school. It is then time for the parent to return to work. Of couse, while the child is young the parent could perhaps plan for the future by taking a child friendly course.

viktory

black-saturn wrote:

My parents always worked full time too. I didnt have any brothers or sisters. I was left to look after my own from the age of 8 and vowed I would never do that to my own children no matter what the financial rewards were. It doesn't teach a good work ethic, it just teaches your children that money is more important than them.

A child of 8 is too young to look after themselves. You have my sympathies but should absolutely not tar every working parent with the same brush. Nor should you allow your distressing experiences to colour you relationship with your children and stifle their independance.

Becles

black-saturn wrote:

It doesn't teach a good work ethic, it just teaches your children that money is more important than them.

I disagree.

I'm self employed and work school hours, so I'm around to take my children to and from school. My earnings have enabled me to big a nice house in a decent area, and we have enough money to have the odd luxury.

My children have never been taught that money is more important than them. What they have learned is that by working, I can afford to give them a better lifestyle than if I was on benefits. Hopefully this will enable them to go out and get jobs when they are older, rather than claim benefits.

What your parents did to you is not a reflection on all working parents, and I resent you tarring me with the same brush as them. I'm nothing like that and my children have had a better life through me working school hours, than they would have done if I'd remained in the IS.

**purplemoon**

viktory wrote:

Not !!!!!y at all. I was merely curious as to why none of the single parents have responded to a very valid post. All the single parents state that they cannot manage on the money they get, then why not tell us how much that income is? The posters on here are only responding to the posts that they want to reply to, ignorning the pertinent.

These are Income Support rates for a single mother over 25:

Personal allowance = 57.45
Child allowance = 45.58 (each child)
Family premium = 16.25

Total = £119.28 per week (assuming one child)

Child Benefit (£17.45) is then deducted from that amount leaving £101.83 per week. Single mothers under 25 get even less, as much as £10-20.00 a week less!

Not sure how someone can have disposable income of £700 a month from that

viktory

Thanks for that. May I impose further and ask if single parents have to contribute to their rent and water rates?

pandas66

Becles wrote:

I disagree.

I'm self employed and work school hours, so I'm around to take my children to and from school. My earnings have enabled me to big a nice house in a decent area, and we have enough money to have the odd luxury.

My children have never been taught that money is more important than them. What they have learned is that by working, I can afford to give them a better lifestyle than if I was on benefits. Hopefully this will enable them to go out and get jobs when they are older, rather than claim benefits.

What your parents did to you is not a reflection on all working parents, and I resent you tarring me with the same brush as them. I'm nothing like that and my children have had a better life through me working school hours, than they would have done if I'd remained in the IS.

:T :T :T
very similar, now have increased hours as they are older, can look after themselves (as I taught them to cook) and they are increasing more expensive to keep. They have both had 'paper rounds' jobs and enjoy the 'freedom' that a little extra money brings.
I have never claimed IS. Ex husband upported for a while then into employment.

black-saturn

viktory wrote:

Thanks for that. May I impose further and ask if single parents have to contribute to their rent and water rates?

If they are on benefit they may have to contribute some rent if they are deemed as being over accommodated (i.e. house is bigger than the council think is neccessary for the amount of people). They do have to pay water rates.

If they work they have to pay all the rent and the water rates.

black-saturn

Becles wrote:

I disagree.

I'm self employed and work school hours, so I'm around to take my children to and from school. My earnings have enabled me to big a nice house in a decent area, and we have enough money to have the odd luxury.

My children have never been taught that money is more important than them. What they have learned is that by working, I can afford to give them a better lifestyle than if I was on benefits. Hopefully this will enable them to go out and get jobs when they are older, rather than claim benefits.

What your parents did to you is not a reflection on all working parents, and I resent you tarring me with the same brush as them. I'm nothing like that and my children have had a better life through me working school hours, than they would have done if I'd remained in the IS.

Mine are the opposite. When they moan because their friend has everything she asks for I tell them it's because her mum and dad works full time but she is left with a childminder to be able to get everything she asks for. So I ask them what would they rather have, the latest Nintendo DS or a mum that is there for them all the time? They always choose the latter. If they were to choose the first option I might consider it but I want my children to be happy. We live in a nice area too and the mortgage is paid off.

viktory

mandi wrote:

Vicktory,

Im a very proud person. I am well spoken, educated, and would have a great deal to offer in the workplace I detest the situation I am in, but back to my OP.. I DONT have a choice, and that was my point.. If any poster has a magical solution, could you please let me know... BTW my ex has spent the last 3 years training as a plummer, and will soon qualify.. Nice eh.. to have that choice.. He wouldnt have been able to do it, if he,d taken custardy of the children though..:rolleyes:

Good on you, mandi. I respect you for that. As stated in one of my posts I have no problem with those that have no choice but to care for young childen, usually due to a disappearing ex.

I am sure that when the time is right you will go and get a job and become self supporting.

Hopefully when your ex qualifies as a plumber he will earn loads and give you and the children more!