Its a wonderful life... Want to try.....?? A Single parents View.. !!xx!

looby75

wigginsmum wrote:

It's quite simply scrounging; if you're capable of working, you should.

That's all well and good but my 5 yr old son isn't capable of looking after himself, nor is he capable of stopping himself being ill every 4 weeks or so. And believe it or not my 13yr old dd still needs me around too.

I am capable of working, I am not is a situation where working is a viable option for me or my kids at the moment though.

Broken_hearted

black-saturn wrote:

Your choice then. If you want to be worse off by working - totally your choice. Your children won't thank you for it, they will only resent you for it like I did with mine.

I'd love to work, I hate myself being at home, I feel like the lowest of the low and all my family work. If you think finding childcare is expensive. Try finding care for disabled husband. For me to work i need to hire 2 yes 2 carers as health and safety says 1 person can't manage to lift him (funny I have to manage). Then I would have to find chilcare for my sons as my mother works and my mother in law life 2 bus journeys away.
Then I wouldn't get any of the same level of childcare or any other top ups that a single parent gets. Direct payments will pay for 1 carer. So by the time I've done all that if it was possible I come out with a minus figure and still have a mortgage to pay.
So whichever way I turn I hate myself !

wigginsmum

As I said, could work but won't.

I've got no problems with those who are too ill or disabled to work (which isn't a choice); I do have a problem with those who won't get off their backsides because they consider it financially below them to get out of bed unless it's for a certain amount.

looby75

viktory wrote:

All the single parents state that they cannot manage on the money they get, then why not tell us how much that income is? The posters on here are only responding to the posts that they want to reply to, ignorning the pertinent.

Err no, not all the single parents state that they can't manage on the money they get. Things are tight but I do manage and as I have said many times I am very grateful for the benefits I receive.

What I have been complaining about is the fact that some people see me as a single parent scrounger who is rolling in money which I "rob" from honest hard working people. It's an unfair stereotype, I, like most other single parents are just about keeping my head above water, hoping and praying that nothing goes wrong and doing my best to bring my children up in a happy loving home.

mandi

Broken_hearted wrote:

Ok I'll put another viewpoint as to why people are are hard on some single parents and wait for Black saturn to slam me down.
There are a lot of single parents with long term partner who work full time. They don't live with their partners as this would mean losing most if not all their benefit. Yet they are supported financialy (sp) by their partner. They are also allowed their partner to stay with them 3 nights a week. therefor getting more than a lot of families with 2 parents working. Some even having more children with their new partner and not naming them. These might be in the minority but they are the cases which upset and annoy tax payers.

Broken hearted, if these parents have financial support from their long term partners, and are in receipt of full benefits, then they are commiting " fraud"...

I think we also need to remember that many single parents have also been tax payers, and in the furture will also pay tax, its a minority that "choose" not to work.

mandi

wigginsmum wrote:

Exactly, but some of us are breaking that circle by choosing not to have children. It irks me that my tax money goes into paying other people's child benefit when those who are capable of working choose not to because it's far easier to stay at home and have workers support them and their offspring. It's quite simply scrounging; if you're capable of working, you should. But I can't really change that. All I was able to do was resolve not to make the situation worse by dropping sprogs of my own.

SPROGS!! so thats what we call them Wigginsmum..:rolleyes: Mine are 2 loving, kind , individual humans , who will have a lot to offer the world .. not just something I shelled out on a whim...:D

wigginsmum

mandi wrote:

Mine are 2 loving, kind , individual humans , who will have a lot to offer the world

So are my stepchildren, but they're still sprogs to me ... maybe I hung around with Aussies and Kiwis for too long

looby75

wigginsmum wrote:

So are my stepchildren, but they're still sprogs to me ... maybe I hung around with Aussies and Kiwis for too long

Lol I love that word. My oldest is my sprog and my youngest is my sproglet. So far my nickname for them hasn't caused them any mental aguish, then again the fact that my dd has started calling me "er in doors" might be the start of trouble LOL (and jic anyone is wondering we have always had daft pet names for eachother in this family, it's just a bit of fun :rotfl: )

Sarahsaver

wigginsmum wrote:

As I said, could work but won't.

I've got no problems with those who are too ill or disabled to work (which isn't a choice); I do have a problem with those who won't get off their backsides because they consider it financially below them to get out of bed unless it's for a certain amount.

Should we go out to work even if we are financially worse off to do so?
When I was a single mum with 3 kids aged then 3, 4 and 7, I was in that situation. The woman at the benefits office told me not to work. Why should I cause my kids hardship? They would have been cash poor and poor in other ways, I would have had to leave them with a childminder and work all day so I could see them at teatime, bedtime and again at breakfast, then off to school again. Maybe so I can sleep at night knowing I am making someone feel less aggreived at the welfare state system?

It happens with other people too you know, not just those with children. We are not the problem.

viktory

black-saturn wrote:

Your choice then. If you want to be worse off by working - totally your choice. Your children won't thank you for it, they will only resent you for it like I did with mine.

Don't talk crap, BS. My children respect me and utterly admire what I do. And if you had read my posts properly you would know that myself and DH are now better off working. Plus, as I have said before it's a pride thing.

You come across as being very bitter.