Learning to live my dreams not trample on them

savingholmes

Hi Tirl - well I got to work slightly late from my walk but it didn't matter.

The consultancy work is OFF - my boss agreed the time but they pulled out - and have said bill them for the time so far. I want to bill them for the 2 days really - but don't think I will get away with that. So potentially I could get £50-70 for what I've spent so far but wave goodbye to £500!! You can see why I'm gutted!! Nothing I could have done to change the outcome - they've got someone in on a temp contract who can start straightaway. So frustrating... and now I'm stuck with extra cost on my phone and insurance....

If I try and flip it... I needed the insurance and extra phone minutes - and now I can focus on what I actually want to do which is more coaching and workshops.... Gutted over the money - but at least it straightens out my ethics issues and takes pressure off!

FuzzyBear

Booo to the consultancy work being off but like you said at least you have things in place now going forward to enable you to do what you want to do.

I read somewhere that a banana half an hour before bed will help with sleep but tbh if you are taking tablets and they are not doing the trick then am not sure it would make much difference. like you say when you are back to full fitness and working fulltime with some additional activity you may find sleep easier.

I feel for you - I don't have problems going to sleep but frequently wake during the night and can be awake for hours with head whizzing.

As for DD if she is the one wanting to walk to school on her own then she is obviously ready and feeling confident. I take the view that it is the vulnerable or insecure that may (and I mean just may as I think the risks are miniscule) be a victim. Confidence goes a long way. Though I remember the first time I let DS go to the local shop on his own and when I thought he had been too long sneaking down the road to find him and then quickly dashing home as I saw him coming back before he could spot me. Another mum saw me and laughed knowingly

savingholmes

Thanks FB - yes in theory trytophan (or something;)) in bananas promotes calm and can help you sleep. However if 8mg of valium ain't doing it I don't think a banana will. However I have tried it the odd night in recent weeks and it hasn't really made any difference. Cheese also has something calming in it but again I haven't found that a cure either....

I think my brain only has one speed 100 mile an hour or stop. :eek: Because its been rather inactive while I've been off work - its as if its reactivated itself but now won't switch off when I want it to. :eek: Hopefully that will settle down soon as my activity levels increase. I've done 8000 steps today :j which is the best since my operation - having said that I had to take an extra pain killer to compensate. Because it was so hot outside I ended up buying some comfort shorts to wear under my dress as my legs were chafing... £6! But I walked home in comfort which is the main thing.:cool:

On my DD - perhaps we baby her too much in some areas and don't give her quite the right attention/support in others.:o She is so different to DS it is a whole new ball game. She has my assertiveness and strong will, without the other tools and experience to soften it and use it to best advantage! It will come hopefully over time! I think I would definitely support her walking to school with others - but not really alone. She was much better today tho.

Tonight OH and I nipped out for an hour or so to chat over a drink and I had a naughty waffle with icecream and honeycomb - it was really yummy! We are trying to carve out small chunks of time for each other during the week rather than just getting swallowed up by work, family and church commitments. Its a work in progress.;)

On my business - the insurance and phone I needed anyway. In theory I am now better set up for running a workshop etc (once my phased return has finished) and can start marketing myself a bit more now - confident that I have the building blocks I need in place. Still finalising getting my bank account set up - we'd accidentally not sent off one of the forms:eek: but we have it now - so scanning that over later and then will put a copy in the post on top.:cool:

MIL's coming over tomorrow with a friend from abroad. We are reasonably clean and tidy since we started on it yesterday - but will need to nip out to buy some rotisserie chickens, frozen wedges, tomato sauce and drinks and perhaps a pudding tomorrow.... Although I have a MrA delivery coming originally we had thought we'd eat out -but the weather is so hot we think we may as well have a buffet and salad type thing here. Which would also be more MSE.:money:

I feel completely wiped tonight which is partly why OH and I only stayed out an hour. apparently he needs to do some work tonight and tomorrow night too. DS is already campaigning to go bowling with friends tomorrow night - don't know what he's planning to pay with

Oh well who would want a simple life hey? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

savingholmes

Apologies - hope I don't offend any one but saw these piccies on FB and thought they were brill - apologies I don't know original copyright


Loved this - had to share



Went to MrA's chemist earlier in the week as had a feeling they had a prescription for me - they denied all knowledge. Today I went with a new prescription and they handed me a bag of 3 items they'd owed me for weeks!! I will have to wait for the new prescription but that's okay as now have enough of that item for now! How mad is that!

gilligansyle

Sorry to hear about the consultancy work being off, but at least its prompted you to put some other things in place that you would have needed for coaching/workshops anyway.

Re DD, do the school do any 'walking bus' schemes? Or they may know of someone who lives nearby.

savingholmes

Thanks Gill - They do walking bus one day a week starting from the wrong place...

Well MIL and her friend has been. Would have cost a fortune... but I used a credit voucher from something MIL had bought for DD that didn't fit her LOL and £3 in vouchers that I found. I also spent some money in MrMs... MIL and her friend were impressed with the buffet - and its not like she comes often so fair enough. She does a lot for us. We have food left for other days too... Also house fairly tidy due to MILs visit which is another benefit.

MIL reckons that a relative can give us a quote for the floor and do us a deal so think we will be getting that done... Just need to agree a date now. I think once we do have a date - I would redecorate the rooms where the new floor will be.... I also want to get a quote for getting the hall stairs and landing professionally painted - altho that will need to be someone local.

So I'm hoping to have a new floor and newly decorated downstairs by xmas.... I then must confess I will look for a new suite in the January sales... We've been in this house 5 or 6 years tho - and other than painting the kitchen and putting a couple of new doors - haven't done anything to it downstairs... Want to try and get it up to scratch. I've got some paint for the front door - that is still on my to do list too!

Want to try and get the house looking clean, smart and decluttered and do our best to keep it that way

kissjenn

Hi SH,

Just been catching up on your trials and tribulations....what a nasty year 2011 has been!

The long haul is just that and so difficult to adjust to. I empathise with the "guilt if you do, and guilt if you don't".

The consultancy work falling thro was a bummer but the flip is that you are ready to go at a moments notice next opportunity that comes up. As you know my contract was pulled a couple of weeks ago due to illness and so I've that hill to climb again next year but at least the business is up and running.

Kids seem to be amazing, you must be so proud of them both. DD will be cantering off before you know it...whining days long gone.

Take it easy, and be kind to yourself.

KJ x

milann

Have you thought of letting her walk home from school with a friend before walking to school. At least yourself or whoever will be in the house could go out and meet her should she be a few minutes late and you would know she had arrived at her destination. Wheras you wouldn't know for sure whether or not she had arrived at school - hope that hasn't scared you!! That's what we did with ours and then did the morning thing - that way we all gained confidence in this 'independant' lark. A scary balancing trick LOL

Hope you find the receipt for M&S.

You'll be ready for when your next client comes along and slightly fitter too

savingholmes

kissjenn wrote: »

Hi SH,Just been catching up on your trials and tribulations....what a nasty year 2011 has been!

Hi KJ - yes it has been a really difficult year... but hopefully we've now turned a corner. Really hoping that OH's tests turn out to be nothing. thanks for taking the time to read all about it :A

kissjenn wrote: »

The long haul is just that and so difficult to adjust to. I empathise with the "guilt if you do, and guilt if you don't".

Yes - I think women - especially working mum's always feel guilty - when you add time off sick into the mix as well.... :eek: It can be so hard to build up your stamina while off work - without looking like you are faking it - or as you say without feeling guilt.:o I woke up today tho with my legs feeling like jelly - so that made me feel more legit about the phased return. :cool: It's odd isn't it with us women - the doctor, occ health and our friends tell us to relax and not go back to work too soon or do too much - but our bodies have to "let us down" before we take their advice or warnings seriously !:rotfl:

kissjenn wrote: »

The consultancy work falling thro was a bummer but the flip is that you are ready to go at a moments notice next opportunity that comes up. As you know my contract was pulled a couple of weeks ago due to illness and so I've that hill to climb again next year but at least the business is up and running.

Thanks KJ - yes I have a few more things in place - and it has still boosted my confidence. I was really sorry to read about your contract being pulled when I read your diary - but at the same time - it does sound like pressure you could do without right now. Doing 5 loads of washing when you've just had chemo did sound a bit like you were trying to be the same kind of superwoman as me:p - only more so :rotfl:You've got some great contracts in the past - I'm sure you will again. ((((KJ)))))

kissjenn wrote: »

Kids seem to be amazing, you must be so proud of them both. DD will be cantering off before you know it...whining days long gone.

Take it easy, and be kind to yourself. KJ x

I am proud of my kids - apart from when DD in particular is whining in public or crying!! :eek: But she was really happy today and really cuddly. She was delighted to see her nan again. Her and DS were both given a fiver each by the other visitor so that made their day (and saved me having to fund my DS going bowling:money:). My DS is a star - and a real kindred spirit we are really close - very easily. :)I work at it more with DD. I get on with them both individually but together they compete which is wearing!!

Being kind to myself isn't my strongest gift - but yes I am trying to increasingly ask myself whether I am being kind to myself pushing myself so hard... Try to get OH and the kids to help more...

Hope you are being kind to yourself too

milann wrote: »

Have you thought of letting her walk home from school with a friend before walking to school. At least yourself or whoever will be in the house could go out and meet her should she be a few minutes late and you would know she had arrived at her destination. Wheras you wouldn't know for sure whether or not she had arrived at school - hope that hasn't scared you!! That's what we did with ours and then did the morning thing - that way we all gained confidence in this 'independant' lark. A scary balancing trick LOL

Hope you find the receipt for M&S.

You'll be ready for when your next client comes along and slightly fitter too

Thanks Milann. School would ring up by 9.30am if she didn't arrive but TBH that is a scary thought. I think for the time being OH will walk behind her or we'll see if there is someone she can walk with.

The walking home thing would be simpler... She could walk to meet DS before walking home together or walk most of the way home with the friend on the estate... But I still worry - I'm not convinced she's ready. I don't know how well she would cope if there was any kind of crisis....

Not found the M&S receipt yet- but had MIL here most of this afternoon!

savingholmes

Hi guys

Well some good MSE news - I've just found the receipt for the M&S stuff so taking £88.50 of stuff back - as it lacked the wow factor and I'm not willing to settle for less at the moment!

I've also found the receipt for a wilkos thing I bought a few weeks ago for £18ish which I've decided to take back as well.

I've found receipt for BHS dress so will take that back too

Found the warranty and receipt for a watch I got for my 40th that stopped working after 3 months... So hopefully I can now get that fixed !! Woohoo!! It's only taken over a year to find it!!

Not found the receipt for the swing seat tho - Does anyone know whether I can insist on a full refund without proof of purchase. When I went in and enquired without the product they said they would give me the last selling price which was half what I paid for it.... ?