Learning to live my dreams not trample on them

savingholmes

Well was just rung up by my new business bank to say we'd missed a form out the other day!!:eek: ARghhhhhhhhhhhhh! :mad: So need to get OH to sign tonight and me - then scan it and email it and put originals in the post tomorrow. They can then at least go ahead with opening the account. :cool:

I need to cancel the appointment I made at the second bank - but that would require knowing what piece of paper I wrote their number down on .

Just sitting here drinking coffee and eating a naughty biscuit:eek: - while sad about my recent weight gain :eek:! How mad are people :rotfl:!! I will go in a few minutes and make a smoothie for breakfast and hope that helps me get back on a diet path. I am still not sleeping - felt like I was awake until 6am this morning (yes I did check the clock). I don't know what the solution is - I took 3 tablets to help me sleep last night... I'm going back up to 4 tonight in the hope that works.

I am irritated with myself :mad:- as I can't find a M&S receipt for £88 :eek: worth of stuff I want to take back. I also intend to take back a dress that's ripped to BHS and get £21 back or a new dress (no idea where that receipt is either but technically I don't need it). I also need to find what on earth I did with my fit note as that seems to have disappeared:eek: - I can remember thinking I need to put that somewhere safe:o - but have no memory of what somewhere safe looked like at the time. I have also lost a prescription!:eek:

So its really weird... on one level I feel a "fraud" only working a few hours a day... but on another level outside work my organisation is falling apart and I am not sleeping which makes the reduced hours feel more justified. My body is coping with work - but my brain is focused while in work and then it feels a bit like its gone on holiday!!:o Plus with temperatures heating back up - my hot flushes are playing up!!:(

Oh and OH has to repeat all his blood tests as they weren't happy with the results of the first ones and want to recheck them.... I suppose some of the sleep issue could be related to waiting to know what's happening about that - altho I am not lying awake thinking about anything concrete - I'm just awake with my brain chuntering on.

savingholmes

Well work was OK but still don't know if I can have the time off I need. I parked on a free car park today saving myself over £2. Can't do it regularly as I would risk being clamped...

~Took my breakfast smoothie to work today as took so long getting ready! Just had a bowl of soup from what I cooked at the weekend - it was yummy. My weight is currently shocking but as I say I am snacking too much

Going to have fish, oven chips and peas for tea from the freezer as I forgot to get any meat out the freezer for tonight.

Really need to
a) sort out insurance claim form
b) start tidying the house ready for MIL visit
c) try to speak with my boss but if I pester her too much then that would attract questions about why I need the time off. On one level think she will say yes anyway - but don't know what to say to this company in case she doesn't. I was due to have a follow on call with them tomorrow but don't know whether to have it now or not...!
d) Need to find prescription
e) Need to find fit note
f) Need to find M&S receipt
g) Need to find BHS receipt
h) Ideally take stuff back to 4 shops.... M&S, BHS, The Works and Wilkos

DD was better behaved on the way home from school today so that is one positive... Bank statement arrived and we are doing better than we have been doing...

savingholmes

Oh well not doing very well on my list so far.... I cooked dinner only to find that the fish was off. Just got a refund and free delivery off Mr A - but just spent about the same amount getting a replacement tea from the chippy - didn't have what it took to start cooking again!

Only positive in that is I was planning on getting another delivery from Mr As anyway but still annoying!

savingholmes

savingholmes wrote: »

Really need to
a) sort out insurance claim form
b) start tidying the house ready for MIL visit - lounge now respectable
c) try to speak with my boss but if I pester her too much then that would attract questions about why I need the time off. On one level think she will say yes anyway - but don't know what to say to this company in case she doesn't. I was due to have a follow on call with them tomorrow but don't know whether to have it now or not...!
[STRIKE]d) Need to find prescription[/STRIKE] - found - now need to fill it
[STRIKE]e) Need to find fit note[/STRIKE] now need to submit it
f) Need to find M&S receipt
[STRIKE]g) Need to find BHS receipt[/STRIKE] found it now need to take dress back
h) Ideally take stuff back to 4 shops.... M&S, BHS, The Works and Wilkos (found 3 out of 4 receipts)

QUOTE]

Made some progress tonight - thoroughly hoovered the lounge including down the sides of the settee. Also put some stuff in the wash too. Trying to get a dress dry ready for tomorrow - put it in the airing cupboard!

I think I will try the call tomorrow and just hope I get the time off. Took 4 tablets to help me sleep an hour ago and no impact yet :eek: Frustrating!! Fed up of lying in bed awake so not gone to bed yet but will shortly.

Bye for now....

tirlittan

Oh SH, sorry to hear you're not sleeping well. Maybe it is all the things going in your mind even if you not particularly thinking anything concrete. Could you try to do something relaxing just before sleep? Whatever works for you.

Don't beat yourself up about stuff either. You're not a fraud. You just need to take care of yourself and take some time to get back to normal.

Hope your OH's second blood test come back ok. (((hugs)))

savingholmes

tirlittan wrote: »

Oh SH, sorry to hear you're not sleeping well. ...... Could you try to do something relaxing just before sleep? Whatever works for you.

That's the problem - haven't got anything that works at the moment.:eek: I took 4 tablets last night (which is the most I am supposed to take) and was nice and calm but still awake until 6am. I have just after my operation taken 5 :eek: but its not recommmended really. I will try 4 again tonight and see if it needs a few days at the same dose to work.

I think I will also walk to work and back and see if that helps. But before my operation I found I was having to walk between 4 and 7 miles:eek: a day or go to the gym for an hour plus some walking to be able to sleep. Problem is I don't feel fit enough to do that yet. I did 2.5 miles the other day.

I also still have the remnants of my cold and my lovely yellow phlegm shows I must have some kind of infection - which is making breathing harder and may along with the heat be contributing to sleeping problems.

Last night I even tried switching from the TV to the radio for the last hour before bed last night - and I spent about 2-3 hours tidying the living room so it looked nice and decluttered which I would have thought was a good wind down activity but even that didn't work.

tirlittan wrote: »

Don't beat yourself up about stuff either. You're not a fraud. You just need to take care of yourself and take some time to get back to normal.

I think the lack of sleep thing is a big enough reason to stay on a phased return for now anyway. The only good thing is at the moment I can get up if I need too as I am mostly awake anyway!! Hopefully if I can get into a regular pattern of going to bed and getting up the sleep should settle down.

The single painkiller I'm taking at the moment is lasting 18-24 hours so its not the pain that's an issue...

tirlittan wrote: »

Hope your OH's second blood test come back ok. (((hugs)))

Thanks for reminding me - he's not rung up to arrange it yet. I've just reminded him - he says I'll do it from work (oh yes where he forgot yesterday:eek:!) I am not consciously worrying about him - but perhaps I am subconsciously.

I talked to DD re her whining yesterday and offered her a reward chart for walking to and from school without whining or otherwise embarrassing herself and us. So she announced this morning she was going by herself. So OH let her walk ahead and casually followed her. She met up with 2 friends and walked with them. So perhaps we can walk her to her friends house - and then she can walk with them and she can start to grow up!

I've agreed rewards for x amount of stars in a row so that seems to have been a good motivator. I also said I would record what she sounds like when she's talking normally and when she's whining so she understands the difference!

tirlittan

What about hot bath before sleep time? Some relaxation tapes?

Good news on DD. How old is she?

savingholmes

hi Tirl - thanks for that

DD is 8 - which is why I'm a bit reluctant to let her out on her own. I worry about child snatchers and !!!!!philes. Having said that the route to school is very busy - she knows lots of people - and the roads are log jammed with traffic so the chances of someone snatching her and making a quick getaway are low - but that's my biggest fear. DS started walking to school at 9 and he made a stop at the corner shop and got hit (very lightly) but still scarily by a car - which is another big worry as I would say in general he is more sensible than her... She is about the size of a 10 year old tho...

I do think tho despite being a girl she is less mature than him partly because he does so much for her, accompanies her to places etc and she doesn't get to do enough for herself, by herself.... But obviously I love her and want to protect her - but not wrap her in cotton wool. Getting the balance right is difficult. Having said that she is quite solid so might not be that easy to manhandle (sticking with the child snatching fear here...). When DS first started walking to school by himself we tried to work it so he walked with someone. As far as I know there is only one girl on the estate that we know goes to the same school who she is friends with... whether that is the solution I don't know.

Baths... I hate them - I tend to stick with showers. When you have a family - if you want a bath you usually have to clean it first as well as after which kind of takes the relaxation element away LOL. I also have no books to read at the moment... perhaps I need to trawl the charity shops for some again or look back on amazon... I've been trying to cut our spending tho. TV is just rubbish at the moment... when the highlight of TV is xfactor as at least you haven't seen it before it is annoying!

I do have some relaxation / mediation CDs I could try... Perhaps need to investigate that... I have always been rubbish at relaxing... Wasn't allowed to do it as a child so never really learned how to relax and just do nothing...

savingholmes

Well I've just done an online shop with MrAs - came to about £90 including delivery - I will ring up about the delivery bit as the code wasn't there that should be from my complaint last night. I have just saved another £2.18 on the price guarantee tho. I did spend £40 in the week in MrAs but a lot of that was on meat which is currently sat in my freezer. I am defrosting some minced beef and intend to make either a chilli or spag boll for tonight. Should be yummy.

Right I need to go off now and finish getting ready for work... eating some lunch would definitely be a plus!! If I want to walk to work - I need to finish dressing, do makeup and eat dinner all in 15-20 mins LOL

tirlittan

Go for it SH! You can do it.