Learning to live my dreams not trample on them

tirlittan

Glad you enjoyed most of the concert.
Fingers crossed for your week to get better. I'm sure there's plenty of good things in store for you!

savingholmes

Thanks Tirl. I really hope so. Got an invite to a workshop with John Williams today - for "Screw work let's play" thinking of going - its in London tho - so trying to work out travel and preferably free accommodation!! I think I may take the risk and book it and worry about the details after... It doesn't look like there are any discounts for multiple bookings and I thought his book was ace. And it might be a much more positive thing to focus on than where my thoughts have been since yesterday...

Saw a counsellor yesterday re my hospital phobia - but the kind of questions they want to know about your history brought all the negatives in my life to the surface but not in a way that dealt with them. So feel in real emotional turmoil. They did suggest ringing the hospital re my phobia - and I did and it sounds like they are going to take it seriously and I may even get a private room on the NHS which would really help.... What was less good was she stuck another label on me - which has sent me off researching other medical/psychological conditions that I was unaware that I had... but actually which after reading about them on wiki make perfect sense...

DD is slowly getting better at MILs but not planning to get her until Friday night now...

gilligansyle

Hi SH

how long is it until the op? One of the things Mum being ill lately has brought home to me, is how she takes all the things that go on around her in a hospital for granted, whereas I've never been in one except a Maternity hospital, and I would be questioning everything. You are doing your best to prepare yourself.
You seem to be doing really well now you're off the painkillers, at least it is giving you a bit of a break.

P.S I did wonder what Alton Towers live was - and even when you said, I was none the wiser! I think I've heard of mcfly, but the rest are a mystery to me.

savingholmes

Hi Gill LOL at being none the wiser!!

Operation is in 4 weeks. Counsellor suggested ringing hospital and doing a plan for my stay like I did when I gave birth.... We'll see... She has also suggested a few more labels for me that I was unaware that I suffered from but which made sense - so booked appointment with GP to discuss that too....

I have decided to relaunch my website under a new name - my last website lapsed... So doing some work on that too... Struggling to motivate myself at work. Have booked on a "Screw Work Let's Play" seminar to see if that helps me be less risk averse and get some new income streams... and it gives me a positive focus - and is probably a useful displacement activity for my actual anxiety!

milann

Hi SH - glad the holiday was good and that you are getting things into place before you go into hospital. Work seems really supportive too, which is always a bonus.

Hope dd gets better soon - impertigo isn't nice at all.

Take care

Milann

savingholmes

Hi Milann - yes impetigo was very upsetting for my poor DD. She's a lot better now tho.

Well in true mse style I've fixed up free accommodation for my trip to London - and in doing so accidentally helped one of my sister's get somewhere to live with a relative for a while! Just booked the train for London cost me about £57 which isn't bad... Just think it will be a lot better for me to be active and doing other things rather than sitting here brooding over Op! I've booked to only get there around 2pm which hopefully will limit shopping time and increase the likelihood of me either having lunch before or taking it with me....

I've spent an inordinate amount of time this week reviewing past traumas to identify why so struggling with idea of hospital stay - as well as reading up all about it on the net but as we all know that isn't always helpful. I'm going to try and nip quickly to the gym now before going to a Church Vision day as a family....

Bye all thanks for reading!

gilligansyle

Enjoy your day. Trip to London will give you a chance to chill a bit, you can listen to music during the journey, or take an audiobook.

clearmydebts

The trip to London and seminar sounds fab.

Hope you have a nice day today.

savingholmes

Hi Gill and CMD

Yeah I'm looking forward to going to London - will also give me some time to myself - and some positive things to think about.

Had a good day today. Our church is wanting to be far more outward looking and modern than it has been and I think that is really positive. They also did a barbecue and fed us which was nice. It was also a good chance to catch up with friends and get some support.

I also managed to get to the gym and do about 30 minutes aerobic activity - I felt like I did really well.... I'm going to charge my phone up a bit and then go for a walk... Its on orange and I wanted to use my music....

clearmydebts

Sounds like a lovely day SavingH!