I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

tartantotty

shellsuit wrote: »

There aren't any rules about who should wear what, but if it's gonna bug you maybe have a word with her? Or go and have a look at her outfit, as it may not be as bad as you think?

Its not worth the faff to be honest. It will be fine I am sure. I was just a bit annoyed when I found out and wanted to vent.

shellsuit

tartantotty wrote: »

Its not worth the faff to be honest. It will be fine I am sure. I was just a bit annoyed when I found out and wanted to vent.

Rant away, that's what the thread is for!

Birdie85

I haven't had a little rant for ages... but I've got a new one now!

My Hen party is this weekend (woo!) and it's been pretty stressful because my friends seem to have done nothing but bicker amongst themselves about plans and I keep getting moaned at with the prefix, 'I don't want to complain and upset you but...' The worst one for doing this is a friend who is getting married in the summer. My Hen party was supposed to be a total surprise to me but she told me the initial plans because she didn't like them and ended up convincing me to change it. The plans were to go to York for 2 nights, bit of a sleepover party on the Friday night, bit of pampering and shopping on Saturday, night out in the city centre Saturday night. All she did was moan about how much it was going to cost, how pointless the Friday night was because we weren't doing anything special, how 'no-one' would want to go on a Friday straight after work and it was a bit much asking people to have 2 nights away. I changed my plans to 1 night in Leeds and the whole thing, including drinks, will probably come in at less than £150 each, which I accept is still a lot but we're staying at a Spa/Hotel and having treatments during the day then going out for dinner and onto some clubs at night so it works out as pretty good value for money.

So I get an e-mail last night from her sister about her Hen party... and it's practically the same as the plans she totally rubbished to me! We're going on a Friday night and staying in some totally overpriced 'glam tents' in the middle of nowhere and having a BBQ (no idea what the rain contingency is!), Saturday we're going for a walk and into town for pampering and shopping, going out on Saturday night. I'm totally flabbergasted that she talked me into changing my plans because it turns out she was planning the same kind of thing and didn't want me to do it first! Even better, her party is going to cost roughly £230 before food and drink! She has been a total b!tch to me about my Hen party knocking every 'extra' I've suggested because it's too expensive and that I have to 'think about the people who are coming and be realistic' and she admitted the other day that she had thought about getting some sashes for my party made but 'couldn't be bothered' so I have to do without! Yet she expects me to spend double the cost of my Hen party on hers! I can't really get out of it either as I'm a BM and my name will be mud if I don't go!

I'm probably over-reacting but I'm not happy!

RainbowDrops

I think you have reason to be unhappy Birdie, sounds like she's a bit of a hypocrit.
I'm not sure how she thought she could tell you to make your hen cheaper & shorter, especially with the reasons she gave, then happily invite you to something so lavish.

Not sure what advice to give though, sorry.

sunshine_shell

Birdie85 i would be fuming!!!!!!! Totally out of order!

I'm fuming aswell, my florist has rang to say her husband has booked them a surprise holiday, when i'm getting married so she can't do my flowers for me!! so i ahve to go and find someone else now!

Birdie85

sunshine_shell wrote: »

Birdie85 i would be fuming!!!!!!! Totally out of order!

I'm fuming aswell, my florist has rang to say her husband has booked them a surprise holiday, when i'm getting married so she can't do my flowers for me!! so i ahve to go and find someone else now!

I was pretty cross! I had to really bite my tongue on my Hen party (which was fab despite the bickering and change of plans!) because she was asking 2 of my friends whether or not they're going to hers, whilst we're sat about in the spa enjoying 'my' day then later in the evening when we were all dressed up she caught me in the toilets and told me that if I booked to go to her party I'd be the 12th person so they'd get a bit more of a discount. I was like, 'Errrr, I'm dressed up as a Barbie doll on my Hen party and you're pestering me about going to yours? Do you really think this is the right time?!' :mad: I told her I'm not going because I can't afford it, I don't really care what people say about me any more; if they think less of me because I don't have a spare £300 lying around then I don't think they're worth worrying about!

Sorry about the florist, how annoying! Has she any suggestions for alternatives?

White_Sapphire

Birdie85 wrote: »

I was pretty cross! I had to really bite my tongue on my Hen party (which was fab despite the bickering and change of plans!) because she was asking 2 of my friends whether or not they're going to hers, whilst we're sat about in the spa enjoying 'my' day then later in the evening when we were all dressed up she caught me in the toilets and told me that if I booked to go to her party I'd be the 12th person so they'd get a bit more of a discount. I was like, 'Errrr, I'm dressed up as a Barbie doll on my Hen party and you're pestering me about going to yours? Do you really think this is the right time?!' :mad: I told her I'm not going because I can't afford it, I don't really care what people say about me any more; if they think less of me because I don't have a spare £300 lying around then I don't think they're worth worrying about!

Birdie, I think you're quite right to not go to this other bride's hen do, after the way she's treated you. If I were in the same boat I'd want to resign as bridesmaid and just not go to her wedding, because it sounds like she's putting a higher priority on outdoing you than on your friendship. It's just such a shame that weddings can sometimes bring out the worst in people, when they buy into the culture of bigger, better, more expensive etc.

x

laurarobby

bubbles0169 wrote: »

im getting sick of people(i know in real life) getting engaged and setting the date before me! now its the 17 year old girl from work whos only been with her girlfriend for a few months!!!!!!!!!!!

I so no what you mean.. iv been with oh for 6yrs and some friends of ours (used to be close friends not really had much to do with them for years as they where always cheating on eachother!!!) got engaged xmas day and have announced the date and venue already!

we got engaged in sept and i was really into wedding planning until i found i was pregnant with our 2nd child in november then they sort of got pushed the the back of my mind!!!

Im back now! with a vengance and already stressed about table plan... we havent even got our date/venue yet!

PPtobe

Hi All............long time lurker here but cannot resist the opportunity to vent any longer!

We are getting married abroad in August & my brother and his girlfriend have just booked a holiday for September! We have always thought they wouldn't make the effort to come to ours....considering he is unemployed I cant see how very can afford both!? Not sure if this makes sense but if they didnt come to ours and claimed they couldn't afford it then I could deal with it. However, if they now say that and then go away the following month its a direct snub!

I annoy myself in the fact that we chose to get married abroad and were fully aware that this would mean some friends wouldn't be able to come, but now I get annoyed when people say they won't be able to make it .... we wanted a small wedding and now I worry that it will be too small........I'm a nightmare!!!

White_Sapphire

PPtobe wrote: »

Hi All............long time lurker here but cannot resist the opportunity to vent any longer!

We are getting married abroad in August & my brother and his girlfriend have just booked a holiday for September! We have always thought they wouldn't make the effort to come to ours....considering he is unemployed I cant see how very can afford both!? Not sure if this makes sense but if they didnt come to ours and claimed they couldn't afford it then I could deal with it. However, if they now say that and then go away the following month its a direct snub!

I annoy myself in the fact that we chose to get married abroad and were fully aware that this would mean some friends wouldn't be able to come, but now I get annoyed when people say they won't be able to make it .... we wanted a small wedding and now I worry that it will be too small........I'm a nightmare!!!

That must be horrible when immediate family can't seem to make an effort. You say that you always thought they wouldn't make the effort to come to your wedding - I read from this that you and your brother don't really get on? As important as family is, perhaps those you choose to be close to (friends, and family you genuinely get on with, not just cos you're stuck in the same family) are more important on your wedding day? Sounds a bit harsh perhaps, but when you have a small guestlist you only want the people there who love and support you and will enhance not only your wedding day but you and your h2b's future together. If your brother is not one of those people (and there is no law that states that siblings must get on - check out some of the other posts on this thread and you'll see you're not alone) then don't waste time on how it 'should' be different. Just ask them outright if they will be going, and if they won't be attending then you have space for two people who mean more to you than shared genes.

Good luck

x