I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Tashatutuw

krustylouise wrote: »

Thanks Tasha - definitely makes me feel less anxious about the little niggles! I don't have a besty because most people round here all !!!!! about each other and are very clicky so I keep myself to myself. I even work in a male orientated business - suits me down to the ground!

I think H2B and I are fairly lucky because we have just had our 'anniversary' of being officially together which has been a lovely little time for us to remember what its all about. But I see where the niggles can get to you - we stupidly, decided to redecorate our house quite drastically (including all new doors, carpets, bathroom, etc etc) and that not helping at all.

We are always here with the same worries and stresses that you have - PM me if you need to talk! x

clarabell1984

So a bit of an update!

H2b has told his parents straight that we don't want all of their friends coming all day and that we don't want them to have to pay for extra.

They really couldn't decide on just 3 couples so we have compromised on 4 couples and we will pay for them all.

His dad was very understanding when he spoke with him. Not sure how his mum took the news as she wasn't there! :rotfl:

Phew, can stop stressing (for now!)

minerva_windsong

I'm not entirely sure it's Bridezilla - but what's the nice way of telling my mum that I don't want an all-bells-and-whistles wedding?


It started with a wedding car, which I didn't initially want as the venue is ten minutes' walk from our hotel and it seemed like a waste of money to pay to sit in traffic for 20 minutes. But my mum insisted - partly because of the likelihood it'll rain on the day, partly because I think she doesn't like the idea of people looking at me whilst I'm walking to the wedding (though personally I'm not that fussed) - and so I compromised and got one. The next thing she's on at me about is a make-up artist, and I am really struggling to find one I like and can afford and think I'd just prefer to do my own for the amount it's costing.


Where it gets complicated is that she and my dad are being incredibly generous and paying for the entire wedding (minus the honeymoon and a very generous contribution from my OH's parents). Whilst it's not exactly bankrupting them, they're both retired and I feel guilty that they're shelling out all this money on me for stuff I don't even necessarily want or need.


I fully expect to get told I shouldn't have taken their money in the first place then and I should stop whining and just enjoy it - but equally I don't want them to be spending all their money unnecessarily. So how do I say "You don't have to get me all this stuff Mum" without sounding terribly ungrateful?

lulu_92

I'm not getting married yet but my dilemma is who I have to walk me down the aisle!

My story is complicated so I will summarise:
- biological dad walked out when I was 2, not seen him since late 90s.
- step-dad raised me since I was 5, split up with my mum when I was 11. Visited me 3 times a week until he met a new woman and moved away.
- Visits turned to once in three weeks.
- Only met my OH once and has been to my house twice (lived here 18 months). Works near my house but will opt to visit my sister.
- I think in 18 months I have only seen him 3 times, not been to his house for 5 years, not had a phonecall since xmas. Usually when I ring him he either tells me off for the time I call him (he does shift work but doesn't tell me suitable times to call) or for something else I've done that's wrong (whole other story)

My OH wants it to be my step-dad (the guy she is married to now)
- they got together when I was 14, with him buying a house for us all to live in.
- when I lived at home he did my head in but as I've moved out our relationship has vastly improved
- met my OH hundreds of times, they will arrange for us to do things together
- took me to buy my first car and picks me up from the train station 10 miles from his house so I can drive back in my car.

Ahh, I might just ask my mum to do it!


I know it sounds biased but I want to know how I would be able to approach the subject with either dad (they are both my dads now) or any views anyone has on the subject - I will welcome all criticism!

Mojisola

You don't have to have anyone walk you down the aisle. It could be just you and any bridesmaids.

lulu_92

Mojisola wrote: »

You don't have to have anyone walk you down the aisle. It could be just you and any bridesmaids.

I know I don't have to. I want to.

Mojisola

lulu_92 wrote: »

I know I don't have to. I want to.

Then you have to decide between them.

minerva_windsong

Lulu, would it help the decision if you could split the other father of the bride duties - so the one who doesn't walk you down the aisle makes the speech, maybe (if indeed you're having speeches)?

Also - is there one who would prefer to do it, or be better at it? If either of them have ever expressed a strong desire to do it, or you know they wouldn't be comfortable doing it for whatever reason, then that might help.

Otherwise, it might be better to wait until closer to the time before deciding - your relationship with either or both of them could change, although from the sound of your post it seems like you'd prefer it to be the second one. But I do agree you should have who you want, whether that's one of them, both of them, your mum, your OH, walking in on your own or whatever else it might be.

MissTeach

Have one on each arm!

tillyenna

I think having your mum to do it would be really sweet! I asked my brother to give me away, and he was really touched, I think people appreciate it more when they don't expect it.