I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

swampduck

It's not unreasonable to split couples, so that one may be on the top table and the other elsewhere on another table. Given that a lot of families have experienced broken marriages - the family politics can be a nightmare for some people.
If I'm a guest I'll sit wherever the bride and groom want me to sit- if that means sitting with Great auntie Flo - what the heck? It's a meal for a hour or two, I'll catch up with the other half a little bit later on!!:beer: Shame on those people who can't acquiesce to the Bride and grooms' wishes!!:cool:

Swampy

katie1812

Everyone is different, I've been to two weddings for my sister in laws, one my husband and I were sat together and the other he was on the top table and I wasn't. Tbh I preferred being with him. At our own wedding last year, we kept everyone together. All bridesmaids sat with their boyfriends and the best man and ushers with their girlfriends. To me that's the best way and it keeps it less confusing and ideally, numbers better, so there isn't just one person on their own!

minerva_windsong

When my sister got married OH and I had only been going out for about six months and I was her bridesmaid, so I sat on the top table with the family and he sat on a nearby table with a few of my aunties and uncles and older cousins. Then his brother got married a couple of weeks later and it was the same setup - he sat on the top table and I was on one with the cousins. Both of us had a perfectly nice time and it was actually a good way of getting to know people as neither of us had met the other's family beforehand. It's only for a couple of hours after all and most people are quite happy to chat to others at a wedding, even if they don't know them.

Georgiegirl256

I'm quite chatty and can usually make conversation with most people, but personally I would hate to be separated from my OH at a wedding and have to sit with people I didn't know and have to make small talk if they weren't that chatty.

ska_lover

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I'm quite chatty and can usually make conversation with most people, but personally I would hate to be separated from my OH at a wedding and have to sit with people I didn't know and have to make small talk if they weren't that chatty.

I'm exactly the same.

swampduck

ska_lover wrote: »

I'm exactly the same. Love and romance are surely the spirit of a wedding day, and to be sitting couples apart, just for the sake of a traditional (I hate that word) seating plan..just doesn't sit right with me.

Last year my best friend got married, and there were three of us bridesmaids, all of us had partners and two others had kids, as well as the best man having a wife. My friend didn't have the whole top table thing, she just had her, her husband and two sets of parents. Had she split me and my OH on to seperate tables, my OH would have hated sitting with strangers as he knew no one there other than me and the bride and groom, and is highly likely we would have left much earlier than we did as we both would have felt uncomfortable.

This year at our wedding in august, we have taken inspiration from her wedding, and will be doing the same. I refuse to make members of our wedding party less comfortable,as to know that they would have enjoyed the day more if they were 'allowed' to sit with their partner would upset me.

I've looked on line at 'traditional' seating plans, and they just (for want of a better word) p1ss me off! It goes something like:-- father of the bride, mother of the groom, bride, groom , mother of the bride, father of the groom. So even our parents who have been married nigh on 40 years would be sat apart with the other 'in laws' husband/wife.

I don't understand swampys comment of 'shame on people who cannot aquiese to the bride and grooms wishes'...IMO I think demanding that you one of the few couples to be 'allowed' to sit together at your own wedding is massively bridezilla behaviour, and would certainly lessen the enjoyment of the day for most of the seperated couples. It takes away the shine of even being in the wedding party, as if they were just a normal guest, they could turn up and sit with their OH. It's the atmosphere we want for our day

On the contrary, the wedding day is all about the bride and groom and how they want to celebrate their day. Whether couples are sat together or not - it is their prerogative whether to be traditional, non traditional or something in between when it comes to seating their guests.

Some couples look on it as being an opportunity for people to mingle or meet up with family that only gather for weddings and funerals rather than stay in cliques and subsequently divide the reception in to a them and us situation.

As I said in my earlier post family politics can be a social minefield and the one day these issues should be put aside is on a wedding day (and dare I say it - funerals!) If guests don't like it they can always rsvp a refusal to the bride and groom.

I have attended several weddings and other functions where the attitude was to leave your disagreements and rows at the door and pick them up when you leave!!

Swampy

ska_lover

swampduck wrote: »

On the contrary, the wedding day is all about the bride and groom and how they want to celebrate their day. Whether couples are sat together or not - it is their prerogative whether to be traditional, non traditional or something in between when it comes to seating their guests.

Some couples look on it as being an opportunity for people to mingle or meet up with family that only gather for weddings and funerals rather than stay in cliques and subsequently divide the reception in to a them and us situation.

As I said in my earlier post family politics can be a social minefield and the one day these issues should be put aside is on a wedding day (and dare I say it - funerals!) If guests don't like it they can always rsvp a refusal to the bride and groom.

I have attended several weddings and other functions where the attitude was to leave your disagreements and rows at the door and pick them up when you leave!!

Swampy

I'm not sure what you mean by 'On the contrary, the wedding day is all about the bride and groom and how they want to celebrate their day' I never said it wasn't - I would 100% agree, it totally is up to the bride and groom. If they want to go traditional, that IS up to them, but (obviously) wouldn't be my choice. I'm not saying one way is right and the other wrong, it's all personal preference.

To force people into a social situation they find uncomfortable isn't the way we want to do things, we are respectful of our friends and family and would hate to make them enjoy the day less, or leave early as they aren't enjoying making small talk with strangers as opposed to enjoying an event with their loved one who is sat over the other side of the room. We want our guests to feel relaxed and the day to be a celebration of love all round.

I definately agree any prior disagreements between family members etc should be left at the door ,but that's a totally different subject altogether. Family politics are deffo a minefield, and there is always one black sheep member who everyone is expecting to kick off lol

Georgiegirl256

ska_lover wrote: »

I'm exactly the same. Love and romance are surely the spirit of a wedding day, and to be sitting couples apart, just for the sake of a traditional (I hate that word) seating plan..just doesn't sit right with me.

Last year my best friend got married, and there were three of us bridesmaids, all of us had partners and two others had kids, as well as the best man having a wife. My friend didn't have the whole top table thing, she just had her, her husband and two sets of parents. Had she split me and my OH on to seperate tables, my OH would have hated sitting with strangers as he knew no one there other than me and the bride and groom, and is highly likely we would have left much earlier than we did as we both would have felt uncomfortable.

This year at our wedding in august, we have taken inspiration from her wedding, and will be doing the same. I refuse to make members of our wedding party less comfortable,as to know that they would have enjoyed the day more if they were 'allowed' to sit with their partner would upset me.

I've looked on line at 'traditional' seating plans, and they just (for want of a better word) p1ss me off! It goes something like:-- father of the bride, mother of the groom, bride, groom , mother of the bride, father of the groom. So even our parents who have been married nigh on 40 years would be sat apart with the other 'in laws' husband/wife.

I don't understand swampys comment of 'shame on people who cannot aquiese to the bride and grooms wishes'...IMO I think demanding that you one of the few couples to be 'allowed' to sit together at your own wedding is massively bridezilla behaviour, and would certainly lessen the enjoyment of the day for most of the seperated couples. It takes away the shine of even being in the wedding party, as if they were just a normal guest, they could turn up and sit with their OH. It's the atmosphere we want for our day

Totally agree with everything! As you know, I'm non traditional too, and IMO (and this is just mo, not saying its wrong or anything), that seating plan arrangement is totally out of date. If me and the OH got seperated, I would have to grin and bear it, but I wouldn't be happy and I'd feel I comfortable

I always remember when I was a bridesmaid for my parents Friends, I was only 6 and had to sit at the top table without my parents, luckily I was with my Aunty though, as she was MOH.

74jax

We had free seating, solved a lot of problems :-)

adouglasmhor

74jax wrote: »

We had free seating, solved a lot of problems :-)

Last wedding we went to we were put at a table with a couple who I knew the bloke of a little, and a couple we had never met before. We had a great day and have ended up firm friends with the former strangers and my friend who was getting married and his wife made that choice well. It can work both ways.

The bride also did the best table decorations I have ever seen.