I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Angel_of_Tomfoolery

Pinzy wrote: »

Was it chicken? I only ask because we're deciding on our "you must choose one meal and one meal only" menu!

It's pork fillet

eleanora_

My mother is getting on my nerves now...

She's invited an extra TEN people (five family friends plus partners) to the ceremony, when they were evening guests - this will probably completely c0ck up our numbers as we've already got a few extra for the day already! She said she hadn't realised they weren't day guests, and had assumed they were - but I had sent her the guestlist the other day so that this sort of thing wouldn't happen!

She's also now told me that I "can't" have artificial flowers as my centrepieces, and that we should have fresh flowers from the florist who's doing my bouquet. I've been really enjoying putting together our foam roses and silk gypsophila, ordering vases, etc. We get married in just over two months, and now is REALLY NOT the time to go riding roughshod over our plans and changing things without asking us first!

I sound really ungrateful - she's helping us a lot with the cost - but it's getting close now and I just want things to go smoothly without unnecessary changes and faffing! It also feels as if we don't have any control over how the day goes... I know I sound irrational and like a spoilt child... But that's the point of this thread I suppose.

*cries in a corner*

shrimpy_80

eleanora - I think some mothers have selective hearing when it comes to weddings! I'm not having fresh flowers at all, and have lost track of the times I have had the conversation! "But you are having some flowers aren't you?" "No mum" "Not even in the church?" "No mum" "But you're having flowers for your bouquet?" "I'm making fabric flowers mum" "Have you sorted out your florist yet?" and so on. The same with balloons, weddings cars... you name it. Bless her, I love her to pieces but I know what I want and what I don't.

Has she invited the extras already? Its slightly more difficult if she's paying to say no, but venues have limits for a reason - can you tell a teeny fib and say the venue have capped the numbers due to fire safety regs etc? (Unless your venue is huge then she may not buy it!) Or am I being naughty?

Pinzy

A friend was horrified at the thought of artificial flowers, until I explained that it'd mean I get to keep them as a momento. The fact that you're making them yourself makes them even more special. You could go with that - an insistance on using someone else is taking away a part of you that'd be in the wedding. (Sounds melodramatic but it could be said practically and may help it sink in.)
:hug:

74jax

I need some help to put this into persepctive, and maybe see the other side that I can't....

My dad is very seriously poorly, my mum has had to be put in a home whilst he is in hospital and it's just not a nice time. I heard just recently he may not be around for the wedding and it's just taken the edge of things.

So....... My hen day is tomorrow, and my MOH text/emailed everyone (on wednesday) saying how she was looking forward to meeting and welcoming everyone, that she knew some hadn't seen me for ages and would probably like a catchup with me but could they, just for one day, not ask about my dad as she wanted the day to be about me celebrating my forth coming wedding, she then went on to offer to meet people outside the pub etc to save them walking in alone and offering to introduce them to people etc.

Well...... my witness then messaged me something along the lines of 'who the f___ does she think she is saying I can't ask you and about your dad blah blah' I explained I'd asked her to send it out and forgot to maybe say not to send it to her, but that I didn't want a load of questions of 20 different people. She then said 'why on earth would she say looking forward to meeting you, we're not friends, eughhhhh I can't stand her, she's too sickly sweet'.

She then text me later on in the day she she was pee'd off and basically going over it again. I went to see her on the night time as I felt sooo bad - not even sure why - and she was stomping round, said her day had been ruined byt he message and that she'd deleted my MOH number as didn't want it in her phone. I said the reason everyone had it was as I wantd a day away from my phone at the Hen and so everyone could contact MOH.

It's now Friday and since I left her house Wednesday when she was clearly in a foul mood she hasn't been in touch. We normally text several times a day.

I have a feeling she won't show tomorrow now.

Can someone help me see her side as right now I'm feeling, well I don't even know what i'm feeling. My MOH only did what I asked and to make it easier for me, which has just back fired immensly.

LEJC

why not just pick up the phone and call her...explain it was a generic text/email and your really sorry she's interpreted it the wrong way...
Going into as much detail as you want with her explain its a happy time for you but you do have so much also going on with dad at the moment and perhaps for one day you really wanted it to be about you and only you...

I suspect that perhaps shes had time to reflect on whats been said recently and hopefully shes feeling a little bad about it all too...hence shes not contacted you.

People are naturally curious and to a point also concerned about your dad and probably your mum too...but they also need to know that for one day you've got to have your time too...a true friend will understand.

And thats not a bridezilla moment...

74jax

LEJC wrote: »

why not just pick up the phone and call her...explain it was a generic text/email and your really sorry she's interpreted it the wrong way...
Going into as much detail as you want with her explain its a happy time for you but you do have so much also going on with dad at the moment and perhaps for one day you really wanted it to be about you and only you...

I did that, she said she was p'd off my MOH had sent it, i shouldn't have said I wanted it sent out, people ask becasue they care and I should be prepared to talk about it. She said I'd f____ her off and ruined her day off. So I then went round to see her ont he night time to talk about it, but she didn't want me in the house for more than 5 minutes, said pretty much the same and hasn't spoken to me since.

I suspect that perhaps shes had time to reflect on whats been said recently and hopefully shes feeling a little bad about it all too...hence shes not contacted you.

i don't think so as her fb status's are about how she thought she had a friend but doesn't............ I haven't commented or text or emailed as I don't know what to say when she says it all again, hence I posted here to try see her side so I understood.

People are naturally curious and to a point also concerned about your dad and probably your mum too...but they also need to know that for one day you've got to have your time too...a true friend will understand.

And thats not a bridezilla moment...

I think I'm just going to have to wait and see what tomorrow brings...

Sundaysgirl

74jax - so sorry to hear about your parents, and I'm quite shocked at how your witness is behaving - such selfish behaviour, especially given the stress you are no doubt already under with your parents and impending wedding. Sounds to me like she is either jealous of your wedding, or that she is not MOH.

IMO, you and MOH did the right thing, and your MOH's approach sounds lovely and very welcoming / inclusive. I personally would not have had an issue with this at all if it was in relation to one of my friends, very close or not. She may well have felt privately a little put out or that MOH is overfamiliar, but I think her actions are appalling, especially since you've tried to reconcile with her. The whole deleting MOH's number and FB thing just highlights that even further - she sounds very immature and really not like a true friend.

I hope you don't think I'm being too harsh, but you really shouldn't be beating yourself up about this issue with her - SHE is in the wrong and has hugely overreacted. Try to enjoy your day, with our without her (might actually be more enjoyable and less tense if she doesn't show) and hope your Dad's condition improves soon.

lisajane8482

I agree with Sundaysgirl. There is no way on earth I would behave like that and surely she should understand that you wouldn't want people asking questions whilst you are supposed to be enjoying yourself. A day away from it all would probably do you good and to me it seems she is just adding more stress to an already stressful situation.

In my opinion if she was a friend she would have been understanding and would have understood why your MoH did what she did even if she did not like it. To say what she said about you MoH suggests jealousy and a true friend no matter how jealous would not behave in that way... or at least I wouldn't.

I would try and forget about it and enjoy your day tomorrow, if she turns up great, if she doesnt it is her loss not yours. Hope you have a truely fabulous day and I hope everything gets sorted.

MrsC....tobe

I. With sundaysgirl and lisajane on this one. I too would do something like you have should I be in the situation you have found yourself in, you are going through enough at the moment with worry about both your parents and the uncertainty without your witness behaving like a spoilt brat.

The message sent out sounds completely acceptable to me and even if she didn't agree I don't think she should have come to you with it. I'd maybe follow it up now with a text to them all saying how much you are looking forward to a much needed night out with friends, see you all tomorrow, kinda thing, then you will know if she bothers to respond what her intentions are.
I'd seriously be questioning now whether you actually want her as your witness as she sounds really jealous in her over-reaction.

Have a great day tomorrow, try to forget all your worries for the day and enjoy. It is the run up to your wedding and nobody should spoil it.

Hugs xx