I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

lisajane8482

I'm in a similar position with OH and his best men and close fiends. He goes out quite a lot with them but never get an invite cos it's "men only" yet found out the other night the last 4 times he's been out with them their girlfriends have been there too. Add to that the fact that the last 2 weeks when he's been picking up his daughter hes been getting her mum 10 cigarettes plus when looking through pictures on his SD card we came across 4 photos of him and his last ex on holiday together smiling (I have one picture of us where he's smiling the rest he always looks like he's straining for a poo, we've been together 4 years they were together 18 months) Needless to say I am a little pi**ed off. I know I'm probably over reacting and at the end of the day he's marrying me but seriously would it be so hard to say get your own cigarettes you do sod all for us except cause arguments and why can't he smile on our photos.

katie1812

Yeah I see what you mean exactly! Why is it that when I speak to my mum or my best friend they agree with me, but blokes just don't see it?!
Last night my fiance said the names of some people going, there were a couple of uni girls who are friends with one of his mates but also one bloke and his girlfriend. I said 'and his girlfriend, where's my invite then?' (bearing in mind I'm not just a girlfriend lol!) and he asked if he wanted to go. I said no cos I'm clearly not wanted, and that was that. If he wanted me there surely he'd invite me. Yet in the 2 and a half years we've been together I've not once been invited out with them. I don't go out much at all, don't do the whole drinking thing but sometimes I do think I could quite easily go out with some friends and see how he likes it. But it's not me and I'm not like that so I don't bother. ARGHHHHHH

lisajane8482

I'm always an afterthought too and get told I over react when I say I'm not going because I'm an afterthought. I always thought that we would occasionally go out with other couples but it's always my friends not his. I was starting to get a complex thinking maybes I wasnt good enough for his friends but apparently it's more that he thinks I'll have nothing in common with them but how would I know if we never go out with them.

katie1812

Exactly. I think mine thinks I'll mother him or be really boring or something. Yet, when we go our for a few drinks or even just share a bottle of wine, we always have such a giggle and everything is so relaxed and we can talk about everything so easily. I'm not sure what he thinks is going to happen if we all went out together. Not even a suggestion of me meeting up with some friends and then meeting up with him and his mates. It seems that whatever I ask for is a massive ask, even me saying can you just text me so I know you're ok! The whole stag do in Newcastle has got my goat big time as well. Let's just hope it was a ridiculous thought that won't happen... and hopefully tomorrow I might be able to have a proper conversation with him. Pretty sure it will make no difference.

lisajane8482

Mines on about Spain for 3 days, I was thinking a night away in the uk but it's not really open for discussion. It just goes in one ear and out the other or he changes the subject so I don't bother. I will however continue to tackle the friends situation, I would like to know them a little before they come to our wedding.

katie1812

Absolutely. I'm the same. I am going to tackle both tomorrow I think. I mean two of the four friends live about an hour/hour and half away so don't come up as much but even so. Surely that should mean when they do come up more of an effort should be made. I get they want their 'laddy' time but I'm not stopping that. They couldn't tell you the first thing about me, perhaps my job, that's about it. So fed up tonight! Hope it goes as well as you want it to

katie1812

So I have briefly spoken about the whole friends thing and the response I got...? 'they're my friends, not yours' so that's the end of that one lol!

lisajane8482

Well we had a chat too and he's on about arranging a night out at the end of the month depending on what shifts his mate is working, I'm not holding my breath though. I sometimes think this is more trouble than it's worth

katie1812

Oh dear remember tho it's you he is marrying and I am sure you will have a lovely life together. I guess every couple has their moments, we have ours hardly ever but it sucks when they do happen. I don't even get a maybe we will do something, so hopefully you will have a night out soon. It is very annoying tho but I guess it can't all be easy and plain sailing! I brought up the Newcastle thing and apparently 'if it's what the guys want to do then that's what we are doing' I just said well I think it's ludicrous and went for a shower lol. End of convo!!

johannalf88

Ok, (we, yes OH as well) may be getting a bit ranty about future in laws (his parents not mine.) when we got engaged they said they would match whatever my parents gave us in terms of money. We said that's very generous, thank you etc.
They said they would pay for the band on the night, and carry on giving my OH some money after he started his job (he was a student till feb) so it made no real difference to their net gain. Feb came and they stopped the money and made this big deal out of stopping it- jokingly saying they were free etc. we were a little confused...

OH won't ask outright if we are still getting the money, but they keep on implying that they are a little cash stripped atm. We don't mind if they are not goiń to give us the money, but they need to tell us! Grr! We have just rebudgeted this weekend on the assumption that we r getting nothing. But it would have been better if they had just told us this in Feb! :eek: They are usually so open about this stuff aswell, so it is a bit wierd.

And breath....