I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

Roz_V

Crikey there's a lot of justified rants rather than irrational bridezillas recently. What has happened to people?! Do they just not have any idea of manners & etiquette?!?!

Indirect RSVPs, inviting a +5, just coming for the food, stealing ideas...

ThouGh as others said spurs_gal if your wedding is first I wouldn't worry too much

Becca, I have been to a wedding where one of the guests had an issue with churches, she just (very subtley without the bride or groom's knowledge) waited outside the church during the ceremony. I only noticed because I had to sneak out with a misbehaving child. I thought that was a very polite thing to do, and like I said the bride and groom were none the wiser. I think it's rude of them to have made it an issue for you, rather than dealing with it privately.

JewelleryFan, I would wait this one out to be honest. The wedding is still 18 months away and if the relationship is only 2 months old then you don't know what will happen in that time.

BettyB, I think they're just trying to make sure that what they're doing is right and you're happy with... I just leave all my wedding-related messages and reply in bulk when I'm feeling particularly virtuous & patient (usually Friday night after a few vodkas :rotfl:)

Hugs to anyone I've missed off, I don't think any of the posts I've seen on here are you guys being unreasonable, OTT or bridezilla-esque, but maybe I'm viewing the thread through my own bridezilla lenses!!

becca0417

I do accept some people do not like churches, religion etc but I think knowing the person in this case it is she just doesnt want to sit through the ceremony. Each to their own I suppose. It just hit me as a bit rude, possibly as I know the person involved well.

Hugs to all of you, as others have said, all justified posts!

Gemmzie

Anyone who doesn't attend the ceremony wouldn't be invited to the wedding breakfast. I'd ask her just to come in the evening Becca.

Extras on RSVPs are really annoying - we've didn't mind a couple of people bringing their children as they are 9+ and quite sensible, we've said it's up to them if they want to watch the ceremony because I don't want them to be bored. BUT, now these people expect their children to attend the breakfast - umm, NO! It's money we don't have and I don't want everyone being different as there's children around.
However, if we don't have the children, one of the parents won't come to the meal, because the children can't sit in the hotel for an hour and a half on their own. The rooms are upstairs, not 30 miles away!! Am I being unreasonable?

tiny_courageous

Gemmzie wrote: »

Anyone who doesn't attend the ceremony wouldn't be invited to the wedding breakfast. I'd ask her just to come in the evening Becca.

Extras on RSVPs are really annoying - we've didn't mind a couple of people bringing their children as they are 9+ and quite sensible, we've said it's up to them if they want to watch the ceremony because I don't want them to be bored. BUT, now these people expect their children to attend the breakfast - umm, NO! It's money we don't have and I don't want everyone being different as there's children around.
However, if we don't have the children, one of the parents won't come to the meal, because the children can't sit in the hotel for an hour and a half on their own. The rooms are upstairs, not 30 miles away!! Am I being unreasonable?

If I was a parent I'd not feel comfortable leaving my children in a hotel room while I was downstairs enjoying a meal. I'd either not bring them or ask the hosts if they could eat with us - I'd probably offer to pay for their meals if finance was a problem. You're giving them mixed messages really, yes you can bring the children to one bit but not another. Why would everyone 'be different' because there are children around?

trinity_enigma

Gemmzie wrote: »

Anyone who doesn't attend the ceremony wouldn't be invited to the wedding breakfast. I'd ask her just to come in the evening Becca.

Extras on RSVPs are really annoying - we've didn't mind a couple of people bringing their children as they are 9+ and quite sensible, we've said it's up to them if they want to watch the ceremony because I don't want them to be bored. BUT, now these people expect their children to attend the breakfast - umm, NO! It's money we don't have and I don't want everyone being different as there's children around.
However, if we don't have the children, one of the parents won't come to the meal, because the children can't sit in the hotel for an hour and a half on their own. The rooms are upstairs, not 30 miles away!! Am I being unreasonable?

I'm sorry, I don't have kids but I don't think it's fair to leave the kids on their own in the room. The first thing I thought of was Madeleine McCann- sorry! I guess the kid must be fairly young if you're worried about people being different because their around.

johannalf88

trinity_enigma wrote: »

I'm sorry, I don't have kids but I don't think it's fair to leave the kids on their own in the room. The first thing I thought of was Madeleine McCann- sorry! I guess the kid must be fairly young if you're worried about people being different because their around.

That's what I thought too....

I think in this case it may be best to make it clear that you can't afford to feed them, and ask the parents to pay if they want to bring them. If you don't want the kids have a no kids rule, as long as its fair hopefully no-one would mind. I wouldn't, but then again don't have kids!

Sorry if that's not what you want to hear.

Gemmzie

They are 9 and 11! I could understand if they were tiny. We are the only people in the hotel and the staff would ensure no-one left the hotel.

Mojisola

Gemmzie wrote: »

They are 9 and 11! I could understand if they were tiny. We are the only people in the hotel and the staff would ensure no-one left the hotel.

You don't have children, do you?

MrsDrink

Slightly off topic here - but can we decide what the purpose of this thread is?
Is it so we can poke fun at ourselves at our stupid whims and wants regarding our weddings? (Like the OPs desire for all her guests to wear her colours). Or is it so we can offload our serious gripes and complaints about the planning process? I think there is a need for both, but maybe not necessarily in the same thread - I don't know.

Yesterday I wrote a fairly lengthy reply about reasons for not attending a church ceremony, but still wanting to be part of the day and celebrate with the couple. But then I talked myself out of posting it because this thread originally wasn't about criticising each other. Just somewhere for us to offload. But we can't have 'omg that is so justified' posts and not expect 'you are being totally unreasonable' replies at the same time.

Why am I writing this? Because I read this thread, but don't reply to anyone because I no longer know what the purpose of this thread is. I don't mean to upset anyone, just throwing this out there so to speak.

becca0417

I don't mind anyone criticising me, I think it's rude to not attend the marriage because you don't like churches (issues with religion are different) and expect to attend the meal but if others don't agree, that's fine. Everyone has their own opinion. I guess the purpose is to offload where you possibly can't in real life?! I think the difficult thing can be that us brides know the backgrounds/intentions of these issues whereas those replying don't.