I am a Bridezilla and my confession is....

trinity_enigma

Aaah kk22 that's not great but I know how you feel to some extent- o
I think we all have one of 'those' friends! A couple of years ago I ended up falling out with one of my friends when my mum was in hospital and was very ill. She bailed on me when when I really wanted to go out and take my mind off things and she told me I was being childish and pathetic!

Unfortunately her partner is a good friend if my oh and they are part of our group so I still see her and have to be civil but I can't imagine her being a close friend again. Probably just as well because she's drop dead gorgeous and as a bridesmaid would make me feel a bit inferior on my wedding day- silver linings and all that lol.

katini

I need to have a rant, I am going totally mad and know its a bit bridezilla-y.

My MIL-to-be phoned my OH the other day and he disappeared off to talk to her and I didn't think anything of it as we had friends over. On Friday night he finally tells me that there's some family argument between his two stepsisters over the fact that only one of them has been invited to our wedding. Now, we are getting married next May and so far NO ONE has been invited to our wedding since it's so blooming early. Also, I've never met either of his stepsisters as they live up north and whenever we've visited his mother, they've never been over. Their family is quite separate and although they all lived together when they were teenagers it never really became a "proper family" and he doesn't actually like either of them.

Now apparently, because this one stepsister invited OH to her wedding a few years ago (before I was around), his Mother decided to invite her and her husband to our wedding...just sort of did it without any consultation.

ARFGHGGGGGGGGGG

We can afford to invite 88 people to the wedding, and if we manage to find some more money we can go up to 98 but that's the venue's maximum (100 including the two of us). She has already given us the names of 12 people who she wanted to invite- it turns out they are family/his godparents who he'd forgotten about, so that wasn't a problem. We asked for their addresses to send Save the Date cards and she's not been forthcoming with them...because it turns out she's been formally inviting them HERSELF. OH has been a bit of a wet weekend about it which has sent me even more mad because he refuses to make a fuss about it. But I am incensed that she has done all this and caused arguments involving us without even consulting us. I am even more annoyed that we aren't able to create our own guestlist for our wedding. I feel like she is taking over and have tried my hardest not to get wound up by it but cannot help it.

It's really annoying me that these people I've never met are annoyed with us for something we didn't even know about until she told us. I am annoyed that she won't keep out of it and won't let us do it the way we want to. She recently told us we had to put her name on our invitations...!?! She can't seem to reconcile the idea that it is our wedding and we want it to reflect us rather than just tick boxes of all these wedding traditions she keeps coming up with.

I don't know how to sort this out. Anyone any ideas?

MrsAtobe

katini, my first reaction was to suggest a cricket bat, but you've probably already thought of that:p

abi-em-mum83

wow Katini first of all you need to tell your hubby to be to rein his mother in! what an overbearing moo! Can I ask is she paying towards the wedding? If not you need to tell her to back off! 88 guests allowed and she is demanding a heap of strangers to you and your oh be invited? I dont think so!! I dont think your being Bridezilla-ish at all at this, I think this would upset and annoy the hell out of any bride, whether they are level headed and calm or manic as us Bridezilla's are!!xxxx

bettyB_2

KK22 wrote: »

Spurs_gal - i'm totally with you on the "our day" thing. I have only been engaged for 6 weeks, wedding is in over 2 years time but i am already sick of hearing "... but it's traditional to do it this way". I am sorry but stuff tradition, we're doing it OUR way.

Here here!!

Had my first inkling of a bridezilla moment the other day!!!!

We were talking about food. I dont like silver service and not a big fan of 'english' food (meat n 2 veg kinda thing) I find it a bit plain and I prefer more exotic food, not quite decided what to have foir the meal yet but thinking jamaican, thai or turkish.
We wont be having a buffet though, just an evening meal and a party.1

But every time i mention it people say 'oh but you'll have an english option won't you' cos not everyone likes X, Y, Z, etc. and I just get all cross and stubborn and say NO if people want pub food they can go to a pub but i'm not going to spend loads making caterers do a load of different types of food just cos auny mildred won't eat 'foreign muck'!

It's our day and we want the food to reflect that as much as anything else.

I have said we can have meals with sauces on the side, that kinda thing, so no one is forced to have anything spicy, but no one seems to realise that it would be a massive hassle and cost more to have options involving a completely different style of food! GRR!!! I know it's silly and selfish but that's the point of this thread! :rotfl:

Also, no one moans when having a roast dinner at someone else's wedding why can't they have a curry instead, so i fail to see why it's ok to moan about it this way around!

bettyB_2

katini this reminds me of a friend's wedding, both of their mums kept inviting people and in the end there weren't actually enough chairs for everyone! NOt good. Maybe you should just be upfront. say thanks for helping and it's lovely that she wants to involve so many people in your special day, however you can't afford too many guests and would like to limit it to people you have met!!!!

KK22_2

I cannot believe the gall of some people! Why is she running around inviting people to YOUR wedding without consulting you both? Is his mother contributing substantially to the wedding? Even still, it is disgustingly rude to not even consult the bride and groom about their guest list.

Curious_George_2

personally i would have to really bite my tongue, swallow the rant i would actually want to have and say 'thank you for trying to help with the guest list but you havent had a minute to sit down and actually write a final one out yet but you will let her know as soon as you do'

if people get annoyed because she has invited them along but you havent then they should be cross with her for sticking her beak in.

i would however be telling OH to man up and say something. tell him he either needs to have a word about her inviting all and sundry or get her to cough up for a bigger venue and all the costs attached to that.

MissGG

So, it's finally hit me, and I was doing sooo well up to this point, was taking everything in my stride really and wondering what all the fuss was about with out brides stressing over the smallest things - not me - ………………until now - all of my Bridezilla moments have rolled up togetehr and have exploded. If you can bear to read throught hem all I will explain my Bridezilla moments….
1) My aunt telling me that her daughter (my cousin and one of my bridesmaids, aged 24) will be coming to my parents to stay with me the night before the wedding - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO - That is MY night with MY parents and I want all four bridesmaids to arrive at 10.30am the morning of the wedding for us all to get ready etc - I will be a bag of nerves the night before and will want a quiet on with my parents and siblings only!
2) 2 of my bridesmaids setting out how they will ask the hairdresser to do their hair on the day - again, NO, I want to have a say in how they all look on the day! Why is that so hard to understand!
3) Comments on 'oh, this is how I would have had the boquet mocked up if it was me' - well it bloody well isn't you you have had your wedding and chose to go abroad with two strangers as witnesses and a party on your return - not MY cup of tea but your wishes were respected we all ahhhhhhhhhed and ooooooooed at the right places so why can't you just be happy for me and do the same!!!!
4) My venue saying I can't have a confetti canon for my first dance as it ruins their floor - they never mentioned this previously, I have discussed with DJ and have also built it into first dance. It has also been done previously at the venue and now they have randomly decided not to allow it!
5) My venue has 2 weddings going on on our day and the side of the hotel being used by the other bride is the cheaper option, ours is by far more expensive but we prefered this side when we visited. The hotel has 2 honeymoon suites, one superior to the other and apparently we MAY end up with the less fancy one as we booked later than the other bride. I'm sorry but this is NOT on, our package is the most expensive and should therefore have the most expensive accomodation attached to it. I KNOW this sounds a bit spoilt but we have worked for 2 years to save for this wedding and have cut back in other areas in order to have the venue we had our hearts set on and this is just not right! I am fuming.
　
Arggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh - anyway, thanks for reading - if you got this far! I still have 11 months of this to go and never thought I would turn into this but it is unavoidable I tell you.

johannalf88

Don't worry MissG, I am exactly the same. I have come to re conclusion that it is everybody else who I weddinzilla, as I am perfectly calm and reasonable until people start butting in where they are not wanted!!!!