MSE Pregnancy Club 18

emsywoo123

tigtag02 wrote: »

I am pretty sure that pigpen is right and these threats are booze fulled!!

But I am still so so scared and upset. I know what you are all saying makes sense but the thought of my baby being taken, however small the risk, is breaking my heart.

tigtag02

emsywoo123 wrote: »

But I am still so so scared and upset. I know what you are all saying makes sense but the thought of my baby being taken, however small the risk, is breaking my heart.

Believe me I know EXACTLY how you are feeling (DD1's spermdonor 'stole' her when she was two - I had to go about things the 'right' way (courts) but I got her back within 48 hours (legally) even though that was a very scary 48 hours).

THAT said there are very few men as stupid as my ex KH and I would guess that 99% of men that threaten this do it as that only, a threat, because its the only way that they can try and manipulate you.

He is behaving like a scumbag and you have to try and ignore him. If you seriously think that he could carry out the threat I would speak to a solicitor.

Big hugs emsy - I hope you are ok
xx

pigpen

emsywoo123 wrote: »

pigpen I know I am possibly being thick, but I cannot remember what proof i have?

Read back through the threads you started when he first left..

emsywoo123 wrote: »

But I am still so so scared and upset. I know what you are all saying makes sense but the thought of my baby being taken, however small the risk, is breaking my heart.

What small risk? There is no risk.. he has an unstable lifestyle.. he left you with a young child and pregnant.. what was the deciding factor in him leaving? Was it because you couldn't shand him being so nice any longer? I don't think so..

I have had PTSD twice.. after DD3 and DD5.
I had PND after all but maybe 2 or 3 of my children.. so the chances of me having it again afer this one are massive..

That CANNOT be used against you.. unless of course you tried harming yourself and put the children at risk.

Drug addicts, violent criminals and in some cases even sex offenders are allowed to keep their children do you honestly think it is rational to think anyone has realistic grounds on which to remove your children from your care?

If you think he might try to abduct them.. get a residency order stating the children live with you.. if he refuses to bring them back you can then get the police to go get them and bring them home! He doesn't have to know you have got this.. my friend went to court and was granted the residency order the day before she left her abusive husband.

If you get passports for the children he cannot do that either so will be unable to ake them out of the country..

Better still, if he is threatening to not return them.. don't let them go.. if he is serious about wanting to see them he will have to go through the courts... Keep ALL the texts and emails and all contact which is abusive or relevant to his behaviour.

I would pretty much guarantee it is purely spite and bile he is spouting and has no intention of doing anything at all.. do you think he is willing to give up his new found freedom????

tigtag02

My god that there pigpen talks one whole lotta sense!

pigpen

tigtag02 wrote: »

My god that there pigpen talks one whole lotta sense!

Occasionally maybe... sometimes she spouts pure crap!!

I only know half of this because I guided a friend through it a few years ago and have re-asked all these questions for myself in the last 6 months!

(and my sister is a barrister... so if I don't know it she knows someone who does!)

delain

emsywoo123 wrote: »

But I am still so so scared and upset. I know what you are all saying makes sense but the thought of my baby being taken, however small the risk, is breaking my heart.

As someone who has been there, done this and got several t-shirts with someone whose behaviour got really dirty I can tell you hun he won't get anywhere.

My Ex KH (thanks pigpen!!) told the courts I was on drugs, got my (supposed) friends to sign statements he'd written about how I was always too off my face to look after the children. Eventually he showed his colours good and proper and he hasn't even seen the children now for almost 2 years.

He knows you're hormonal and upset and that he can get to you. I'd just copy down any future texts, ring your local police on the non emergency number and tell them you don't feel safe and you want the texts logged because you're being harassed and they should view them on your phone and transcribe them so that you have a paper trail for every little thing he has said and done since you broke up.

Including you having the police at your door at 5am looking for him and that being unsuitable for yours and your children's well being. ( I think that was you? Sorry if not!)

sammy_kaye18

Morning!

Emsy - hugs - my friend is going through similar with an ex at the minute and is having no fun at all with it. He demanded custody of his daughter and my friend refused and they went to court but he had a drink problem too and they urine tested him and it popped up positive. He gets access through a centre now where he is watched and monitored with the baby but cannot leave with her and is always supervised.

Well this baby ain't going anywhere at this precise second! I have what should be my last midwife appointment today too at 12 so that should be interesting - I'm wondering if she will give me a sweep but I'm sure she mentioned about coming out to the house to do it before and then I had to get referred and it all went tits up after that so now I'm not sure.

I do need to go to town today. It dawned on me that whilst I've been looking at all the cute dresses etc for her and pretty little outfits that I forgot to buy her a coat - just in case it rains - which is quite likely in wales - don't get me wrong she has cardigans etc but not a proper jacket.

MERFE

morning sammy and everyone else x

Good luck for midwife today, do you know how much longer they will let you go?

Can't remember who asked about swollen feet - Mine swell up when I'm at work. At home its not too bad because I have to keep my legs elivated when I'm sat down - dodgy knee, but after an hour at work they start hurting and swelling. I had it really bad with my daughter too, I don't think any shoes fitted at the end but not at all with my son, never had pre-eclampsia.

I've started looking to buy things, have alot of bits but still missing some essentials and ebayed a few useful things after DS. We have a baby swing and a bouncer and used both for different reasons so I think it is handy to have both. DS loved the swing so hoping the new baby does too but I think the bouncer is better for the very early days and for just chilling in. DS is currently sleeping in the cotbed so just need to get DS a new bed and a new mattress. Need steriliser, changing mat, sleeping bags, bath support (think we ebayed ds one and it was so useful), would like a newish pushchair and if its a boy new clothes.

Bufger

kitkat5566 wrote: »

Thanks Fuzz for the link! I quite like those mothercare ones as they're not all white, might see if I can pop into town on Wed

Tinks: I have that swing, I paid 49.99 for it. It was one of our 'luxury' purchases! It is good, seems sturdier than some I've seen and doesn't take too much space when folded. I'm really pleased.

Bufger: sounds like you had some bargains. I've got the silver cross 3d, it seems easy to convert from pram to pushchair, sturdy, looks good and is a good brand. I did find it heavy but not too bad. The car seat is quite light that matches it. Out of interest, what colour did you choose?!

The dark grey one. I liked the red, she liked the pistachio so we went for the grey one. lol!

jojo1978_3

EDD List
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Ladylegs - 30th October 2010
**confuzzled** - 31st October 2010
plymouthscubagirl - 1st November 2010
tanmu - 2nd November 2010
Bufger - 4th November 2010 :male:
emsywoo123 - 8th November 2010:male:
Samandona - 11th November 2010 :male:
sharonr - 12th November 2010
slm6002 - 13th november 2010
CL - 14th November 2010 :question:
Starjump - 15th November 2010
tigtag02 - 16th November 2010 :question:
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Leopardlady - 20th November 2010
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hkinsella - 28th November 2010
Digitalphase - 1st December 2010
tinkwings - 2nd December 2010 :female:
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MERFE - 8th December 2010
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Sadie204 - 15th December 2010
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Stargirl12 - 24th January 2011
On_The_Edge - 5th February 2011
Bexster - 9 February 2011
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Jojo1978 - 9th March 2011

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