MSE Pregnancy Club 18

The_Next_Verse

delain wrote: »

TNV be careful, they can be sneaky like this and if you don't jump through all the hoops they may refer you to social services (which I can tell you don't need) and that's more hassle than you want right now! PM me if you want to talk or anything, you know where I am, even if I'm a total stranger

To be honest, this is what I'm afraid of. They've already hinted at Social Services as I (stupidly?) mentioned during this breakdown some abuse I suffered at the hands of my grandfather/stepfather when I was a young girl. This was obviously noted in my records at the time.

Now, I don't mind talking about it as I have accepted that this has happened to me in the past, and more importantly, was NOT MY FAULT. However, when I was in the booking in appointment for this current trust, I naively did not think that this would be mentioned as it was not relevant. I was only there for a blood pressure check and urine sample as far as I was concerned!

Obviously, although I've dealt with these issues, it's still a shock to have to talk about them when you're not prepared for the questions.

So, when she started asking me about it, she said she was asking to make sure I had no contact with these men or she would have to refer me to social services. Which was fair enough. I said I didn't and she started asking me to go into detail about what happened which I didn't think was any of her business or relevant to the whole conversation at all.

I just don't know how to feel about it. I don't want to make waves, but she called me (at work!) and was asking me all sorts of questions about my mental heath at my desk and I was so shocked i just answered them but as soon as she hung up I burst into tears. I was having a good day up until this point.

Thanks for the offer of the PM, will take you up on that

The_Next_Verse

pigpen wrote: »

Ring up and remake the MW appointment at the surgery. TELL them you are not willing to see a mental health anybody they cannot force you to see them if you don't want to!

I may do this when I'm a bit calmer I think!

Every time I read one of your posts I am impressed at how strong a person you are, and wish I had the confidence to do what you do!

Krystaltips

I've been under consultant led care for both previous pregnancies because I'm a fat bird... Both very normal pregnancy and deliveries... Bet I get referred again though...

Although this time I am refusing the aneasthetist referral... And quite possibly all ultrasounds bar the 12 week and anomally scan...

I am currently deliberating the GTT too...

The_Next_Verse

babyboysmommy wrote: »

One thing I do think it's important to consider, the mental health team will be genuinely pleased to see that you are doing well & getting on with life & I imagine a touch unimpressed that their time has been wasted. If I had to jump through those hoops to get a home birth I'd do it but it's a personal decision & they can't make you. I wouldn't mind seeing the consultant instead of the midwife, just another box ticking exercise & one I have to do myself. Because I've got an under active thyroid I have to be cleared by a consultant to have bean at the midwife lead unit. In many ways it's annoying as my blood work has been stable for 17 years even when pregnant the last time. I'm hoping they use some common sense & agree as long as my blood work remains fine.

I hope so I just see it as a huge hassle as the surgery is 5 mins away from me and the hospital is 15 mins drive. But, I don't have a car so would need to get a taxi which is more expense for what seems to be no particular reason

I think I'm just hormonal.

The_Next_Verse

xmaslolly76 wrote: »

TNV are you able to book a gp appointment and discuss your concerns with him you may be able to see another midwife if you feel this one isnt & wont listen to you. I hope you get it sorted though the stress cant be helping.

I didn't think of that. I might do it. Will it make a difference that she is my "named midwife"?

pigpen

sammy_kaye18 wrote: »

:rotfl: bet your anaemic! (an on going long joke now me thinks!)

Also meant to say that I am going to see the consultant tomorrow - they aren't quite sure what to do with me now I refused the IV iron therapy so they are just palming me between people but aware I have to go over tomorrow as she may talk about induction /sweeps etc being that tomorrow is my due date. However I am taking back up.......in the form of............my mother in law!

I am anaemic.. we've known that for weeks.. but that letter said I was anaemic and to pick up a script for iron tablets.. this one was giving nothing away.

The_Next_Verse wrote: »

I may do this when I'm a bit calmer I think!

Every time I read one of your posts I am impressed at how strong a person you are, and wish I had the confidence to do what you do!

I am not really a particularly confident person.. I have just had so many bad experiences I can't put myself through the trauma of seeing them. I get moaned at if they do my bp because it is rising.. but that is because I am there and don't want to be.. so I refuse all checks.. my antenatal notes are great.. 3 visits.. 16, 28 and 30 weeks ... antenatal declined. In many ways I am avoiding confrontation and hassle by staying away.

if I was worried about something I know where to go and I would IF my baby was at risk.. there is a fine line between being downright stubborn and knowing when something is actually wrong.

The MH team would probably be delighted to see you are doing so well after being so ill several years ago.. but if you feel unhappy then that won't do anyone any good.

I had consultant led care for all my others.. apart from DS3 and DD4 when i refused to see anyone as well.. I had the head of midwifery ring me to force me to go this time after I missed an appointment I told them not to make in the first place.. They are most unhappy at the moment.. apparently I have had 'too many' pregnancies.. I am over 35 and I have prem babies.. So apparently I am a very very risky case.. the only risk I potentially pose is causing them ABH!

The_Next_Verse

pigpen wrote: »

In many ways I am avoiding confrontation and hassle by staying away.

if I was worried about something I know where to go and I would IF my baby was at risk.. there is a fine line between being downright stubborn and knowing when something is actually wrong.

The MH team would probably be delighted to see you are doing so well after being so ill several years ago.. but if you feel unhappy then that won't do anyone any good.

This is exactly how I feel. It's like now I am pregnant I am no longer trusted to seek help like I did when I needed it 3 years ago! This is what i have major issues with.

smartie12

Next verse... I got myself in a right panic about social services. I stupidly was honest about something with midwife at booking in app which led to her saying she "had to" discuss with a health visitor who specialises in social services about possible involvement with them.

Grrrr... I was so angry!! Midwife agreed that no child of mine was in any danger of any sorts cos I'm not stupid but with the way things are nowadays she had to take things further.

I'm happy to say they aren't being involved (was a HUGE relief:)) but I know there'll be something on my records somewhere. Now I can't help but think my depression may trigger something.

I hope it turns out to be something over nothing if you know what I mean. I was supposed to be consultant led but after a few pointless appointments they don't want to see me again unless there's a problem.


I'm going to take some paracetomal for my pain... and WILL be going out for meal later:j:j:jProper pub grub and I hope we sit in the beer garden;):D Haven't seen the ladies I'm meeting for agessss so I'm sure they'll be fussing over bump!:) Have a feeling there may be a few knitted items coming my way:rotfl:

sammy_kaye18

pigpen wrote: »

I am anaemic.. we've known that for weeks.. but that letter said I was anaemic and to pick up a script for iron tablets.. this one was giving nothing away.

!

Oh maybe they are leading you into a false sense of security!

The_Next_Verse

smartie12 wrote: »

Next verse... I got myself in a right panic about social services. I stupidly was honest about something with midwife at booking in app which led to her saying she "had to" discuss with a health visitor who specialises in social services about possible involvement with them.

Grrrr... I was so angry!! Midwife agreed that no child of mine was in any danger of any sorts cos I'm not stupid but with the way things are nowadays she had to take things further.

I'm happy to say they aren't being involved (was a HUGE relief:)) but I know there'll be something on my records somewhere. Now I can't help but think my depression may trigger something.

I hope it turns out to be something over nothing if you know what I mean. I was supposed to be consultant led but after a few pointless appointments they don't want to see me again unless there's a problem.

I'm glad it worked out for you. This is exactly the sort of thing I was hoping to avoid. I kind of wish I hadn't moved now, as I didn't have this hassle with the last midwife! I just wish I didn't have to "prove" myself as it were!

Hope you have a good meal out, I'm going to treat myself to a really big takeaway to make myself feel better!