JC's kick up the butt diary!

LittleMoog

Hi JC,
Glad to hear things have been going a little better for you. If you have mortgage/secured debt arrears, you should be paying only token payments to unsecured creditors until you have cleared them, your home is more important than any non-secured debts. I think there are template letters on the DFW board, if you post there I'm sure someone will be able to help.

For your DMP, you need to offer each creditor a pro-rated amount of your available fund for debt repayment (so it's "fair to all"), and keep paying it, even if they ask for more or say they're not accepting it. If they take you to court and you can show you've done this the judge would probably set the CCJ at the same level.

If I were you I'd work out the pro-rated amount owing to the collection agency and write to them with that offer (including SOA if you want to show you can't pay more?) There's also a letter to say you will only deal in writing, which might help you not to be pressured into paying too much again.

Skint_but_Optimistic

WOW, what alot has happened.
sounds like you have managed to get through to OH.

even on a small level.



As for what you can afford make sure you have done your income and expenditure, so you have it in front of you and cant be bullied into what isnt possible.

You can agree a smaller regular payment with an undertaking to make interim additonal payments on an ad hoc basis. You can use half your ebay money or something for that.

jasperconran

Thanks Littlemoog and Skint:)

You are right of course, silly me starting to panic lol.

We wrote a letter and I sent if off today to Blair, Oliver and Scott outlining exactly what we can pay and when. We explained everything and we can still pay the debt off in just under 3 years which is great as CCCS said it would take 5!

I have also almost got permission to talk to all of OH's creditors, just sent off permission form to Santander so that just leaves MBNA. OH is no good at this sort of thing, so all left to me which is unfortunate:(

But never mind, used it to now.

Will let you know what reply I get!

JC xxx

jasperconran

Well I certainly feel that my life is like one big rollercoaster! since starting this diary I have had so many ups and downs.

Anyway, knew something had to happen IT has gone to bed so I will explain. Basically when IT is tired and fed up with ITS many aches and pains, I pay the price (sometimes DD, but mostly me) I have tonight been slagged off again. Ive been called a ponce, lazy and a failure at everything I have tried to do Once he starts, he is relentless. I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts me. I know tommorow he will say, "oh come on, you know when im tired and fed up I lash out and say things I dont mean. come on you know I dont mean it" but it makes no difference, he doesnt realise everytime he does it, a little piece of me dies:(

Now, I am in the process of trying to set up my own little business, I cant say too much for fear of being accused by the moderators of trying to sell stuff or something. But basically, its a bit like Avon, but on a bigger, better, easier, cheaper scale if that makes sense! and its not party plan. confusing, right!:rotfl:its cos I know im not allowed to say much on here. not the right place.

Right, back to the story!!!!! Well, anyway I am really excited about this as I know I can easily achieve a monthly income pretty much straight away. But I want to build things up slowly. Now, I admit in the past I have tried Betterware etc and got nowhere. But thats cos I gave up too easily due to being influenced by OH.

Not this time!!!!!! He doesnt even know im doing it, and I am not gonna say anything either! wrong?! probably, but this is MINE, and its gonna be for me and DD and our future.

After being called a failure (again) tonight:mad: and being told that whatever I do and/or have tried I am rubbish, useless etc. I am more determined than ever to make this work!!!!! I am be spured on funnily enough not just by ITS cruel words, but also by DD. Ive got to remind myself everyday that I am doing this for us, that I am finally gonna be doing something thats worthwhile, something for me and most importantly, something that IT has had no part of!!!!!!!!

I am fed up with feeling depressed, low and worthless. I am worth more, right guys?????

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!! I WILL PROVE THAT PIG WRONG AND WHEN I DO IT WILL GIVE ME GREAT PLEASURE IN GIVING HIM HIS MARCHING ORDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day is coming guys, I can feel it:D

beanielou

Words fail me to be honest.
I hope that you can achieve what you hope.

chevalier

Sorry but surely this little business of yours would go even faster if OH wasn't there to sap you energy, and your self confidence.

Why wait. You know IT is a piece of work, to be polite. How much longer should you put up with him. Do you want to go through this whole malarky about him leaving NEXT christmas too?:eek::eek::eek:

Just hold him to his words. You know things will be better for it...
chev

jasperconran

Thanks Chev, your probably right!


Having a good day so far, woke up to an email from Quidco saying they have paid me £75 cashback!:j:j wasnt expecting this so logged on and checked. turns out its from some car insurance I purchased back in September!! its taken this long:rotfl:

What a lovely way to start the day!:D

Me and DD are being taken out for dinner later by my parents, which will make a lovely change. They feel that we deserve to be spoiled bless them.

IT is going to work so not invited:rotfl:


The sun is shining, and I actually feel pretty good!

have a good day everyone xxx

jasperconran

well, thank god my new bosses are so understanding! The cold calling job that I mentioned I only did a bit last week due to feeling unwell promised them I would start back today properly but will have to be tommorow now:(

OH has just launched another verbal attack on me. I cant work today, I cant concentrate and feel sick. Yet again, its all me and DD. We dont appreciate him, we dont care, blah blah blah. He then had the cheek to say he's unhappy!!!! OMG! how does he think me and DD feel!?

All he talks about is divource day in, day out. I would tell him to just go, but I am worried how me and DD will cope with everyday living and bills etc. Due to his overspending over the years, its not just debts we've got, all our bills are huge in this house. We shouldnt have a big mortgage but we have. due to OH borrowing more and more.

I know I will probably get benefits etc but I need an awful lot to live on in a month. our direct debits for example are: £2326!!! thats not including debts!:eek::eek: let alone food, petrol etc.:(

I fear for the future big time, I keep thinking I should hold on for a bit longer. But dont know, the future looks pretty bleak at the moment:(:(

beanielou

But you dont have to stay in the house that you are in at the moment do you?
Can you maybe think about other options?
I really feel for you, it's no way really to live your life
TRy and take care of you & keep plodding x

peaceandfreedom

jasperconran wrote: »

I know I will probably get benefits etc but I need an awful lot to live on in a month. our direct debits for example are: £2326!!! thats not including debts!:eek::eek: let alone food, petrol etc.:(

I fear for the future big time, I keep thinking I should hold on for a bit longer. But dont know, the future looks pretty bleak at the moment:(:(

I know it's easy enough for someone else to say (and I'm speaking as someone who is also very unhappy in their marriage but things are not as bad as they are for you) ... but Jasper, surely anything is better than the way you are living now.

Think about how nice it is when your OH is away for a day or two - how relaxed you & DD feel, how much nicer the house is. You can have that all the time, maybe not in the same house, but somewhere. It sounds like your DD would much prefer it as well.

You don't have to put up with this abuse. He seems to be holding a divorce over you as a threat. It's time you turned the tables and told him YOU want a divorce. Start standing up for yourself and tell this bully where to go. You've only got one life, start to live it they way YOU want to.

As I said, easy for me to say, a lot harder for you to do. But Jasper, things can be better if you take that first decisive step.