JC's kick up the butt diary!

jasperconran

I am very :mad: we sold some big items on ebay got £75 so I was like:j when OH text me. between that text and me getting home, OH had brought something else on ebay and took the money:eek::eek: I didnt even get a chance to withdraw it:mad::mad: I really needed that money!!!!!

We have spent alot of money today, on things that were wanted not needed. some for DD some for HIM. The only good thing is that its not on the credit cards!! so thats something.

I am so angry as I have gotta ebay like mad this week anything I can get my hands on as my budget has just been blown away!

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

rant over!!!!

Skint_but_Optimistic

hes really making your life hard. It must be rank.

chevalier

Really hope you can kick him into touch soon. For now I suggest you change your paypal password

peaceandfreedom

chevalier wrote: »

Really hope you can kick him into touch soon. For now I suggest you change your paypal password

Agree 100% on both points.

Or can you create a new Paypal account and use that - not sure how closely Paypal has to be linked to your ebay account.

How VERY frustrating though, Jasper, you will never financial peace of mind until you boot this waster into touch and take full control of your finances.

jasperconran

Thanks for the support as always guys, its much appreciated:)

Well things are gonna be a bit of a squeeze as we dont get paid till end of next week, but I think with some of the things we have managed to sell on ebay, we should scrap through (just:eek:)

I have decided that after CCCS dumped us, I will be self managing the DMP from now on, Ive got alot more knowledge so I know I can do it. Although I have sent an awful lot of info to payplan and they want to speak with me on Monday about it. I might speak with them as I do like the idea of having a bit of a safety net!! See what they advise.

I feel that this year I have wasted alot of time and money (unfortunately) as we have never followed the budget sheets that CCCS did for us (tut tut!!!!) I actually looked at it for the first time last night and CCCS had allowed us for food, toiletries and cleaning £330 per month! wow thats alot!!

I also realised that Ive actually got 3 separate savings accounts with the same bank as my basic account so I have made a list of everything CCCS had allowed for, shopping, petrol, haircuts and all that and have decided that as of the 1st January 2012 I am going to be using these savings accounts and actually put the money into these 3 separate pots and then draw on it and use cash only! So I know that everything is accounted for, cos I lose track so flaming quickly!:mad::mad: Ok, I know I get depressed sometimes and go out to the shops and spend I also know that I am pants at batch cooking (well lazy really:eek:) and this is half the problem as I end of visiting the shops like every day!:eek::eek: not good, so although I had my LBM at the beginning of this year with regards to debts, I feel that I only really truely had a LBM with regards to budgeting and stuff last night!!!!!:eek:

Better late than never I guess:rotfl:

I have set up a sheet ready for January 1st and then it will be go, go go!!

I may also go back to ebay (possibly) at the end of January beginning of February as we have still got an awful lot of stuff to shift!!!

Sun is shining here although very windy and cold. Have a great day everyone!:)

JC xxx

jasperconran

I am writing this today with a heavy heart Its look like I MIGHT be able to get all the debts paid off next year through selling the house, reason for this, OH told me yesterday that he plans to leave me and DD in January.

Apparently its all our fault, the verbal abuse we have both suffered at his hands has been awful. To be called a retard in public and a ponce was so embarassing. He says that I am lazy, dont keep the house nice like I used to, he calls DD lazy and disrespectful.. Yes he works hard for his family and tries to give us everything, but at what cost???

I have to admit I have felt so 'low' this year and lost and depressed, that yes, ok, I admit the house is untidy but I cant help it. I have tried explaining this, but he is brutal in his verbal attacks!!!!!!!

I have been in touch with Citizens Advice and to see what benefits I can claim (which I hate the thought of) but I cant keep me and DD on what I earn.

I dread each day now, I dread coming home to my own house. I have been accused of having no emotion, not even crying when he mentioned leaving, this is because I have none left!!!!!!! the verbal and physical abuse I have suffered on and off over the years has left me, I believe, an empty shell. I am crying as I am typing this, not because of him going, I cant wait for that!!!, it because of how I feel, I have been made to feel like I belong in the gutter and no one deserves that. I cant even have during the day to myself as HE has now finished for Xmas :(

I dont know if I will be getting on here much over Xmas, I will try. I wish you all a happy christmas and wish you all well.

JC XXXXXXXXX

chevalier

Why can't the stupid illegitimate son of a female dog, go NOW.

It is just more TORTURE to make you go through xmas with him. That is REALLY sick.

And don't give up on the house. How old is your DD, if she is old enough to have hormones, can she be left if you got a FT job.

Remember you will have opportunitys you don't have now, because Mr richard head won't be in your life anymore.

So don't think you can't do the house on your own, or buy him out either.
chev

jasperconran

chevalier wrote: »

Why can't the stupid illegitimate son of a female dog, go NOW.

It is just more TORTURE to make you go through xmas with him. That is REALLY sick.

And don't give up on the house. How old is your DD, if she is old enough to have hormones, can she be left if you got a FT job.

Remember you will have opportunitys you don't have now, because Mr richard head won't be in your life anymore.

So don't think you can't do the house on your own, or buy him out either.
chev

Hi Chev,

DD is 14 now and couldnt care less about her dad, which is sad really.

The worst thing about this is, is that he has said all this before and hasnt gone through with it. And that is my worst fear, even worse than being on my own, is that he is all talk and wont do it!:eek:

I fear that above all else as we have got nowhere left to go with our marriage. I cant stand him being near me, I cant even bear to look at him. I dont see how we can get past this even if he did stay as I feel that too many evil wicked things have been said. And as I said, DD cant stand him!!!!!!

I just want to be brave and move on with my life now, I just want a happy, quiet life for me and DD. Im not saying im perfect, cos Im not! I too, have made mistakes in this marriage, however, the abuse either verbal or physical is not the way its done!!!

Will try and keep posting xx

LittleMoog

Hi JC,
I lurk but don't post very often.
I lived with verbal abuse for several years from my alcoholic father after the death of my mother, while I desperately tried to hold the family together for my younger brother. Eventually it all fell apart, and I went to live with one aunt and uncle, and my brother with another part of the family, and I spent years feeling guilty that I (at 16) hadn't been able to fix it. it took me a long time to realise that it WASN'T MY FAULT! I was a child, and he abdicated all responsibility, gave up work, spent all the life insurance etc etc. Similarly with your OH, the way he treats you isn't your fault, or DDs, you're not doing anything wrong, he's just abusive.

Your OH may be all talk (v likely, he's enjoying the control of the relationship), and may not leave. If he doesn't, I think you should seriously consider leaving and taking DD. The way he treats you is disgraceful, and even if it's a terrible struggle moneywise, you and DD would be so much better off. Would it be possible for you both to stay with your parents for a little until you got a house sorted out/got OH out of the family home? Ring women's aid for advice on how to get out, please, domestic violence isn't limited to physical abuse, and your OH is controlling you emotionally, preventing you from working, keeping you in debt, and destroying your self esteem

beanielou

I agree with Little Moog.
Keep ploding xx