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JC's kick up the butt diary!
Comments
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Defo JC he sounds such a control freak. Good for you getting the job he should be grateful to have such a good mate, I hope the job goes well and that most importantly you start to enjoy it and life a bit more, youre such a nice person and hard working to boot, think I'd be giving him the boot. hugs;)Visa £[STRIKE]5063 [/STRIKE]now 0. Loan 1 €[STRIKE]4885[/STRIKE] now 0. Loan 2 €29,590 now €0 as of 22/02/2016 Mgage €55000/ €23,639 at 01/02/18
Proud to be dealing with my debts - DFW Nerd 1209 Keep on keeping on folks DFD FEB 2016 MGE FREE 2024 (hopefully earlier)0 -
What exactly did he want you to do?
It sounds like your marriage is going the way of my first marriage, please make sure you are ok.
I dont like the threats of violence, please please make sure you are ok xTrying to shift that debt!0 -
I think you know the answer to your questions in your heart, jc, but only you, can make decisions and act on them.
Please stay safe xFred - Where's your get up and go?
Barney - It just got up and went.
Carpe diem0 -
Skint_but_Optimistic wrote: »What exactly did he want you to do?
It sounds like your marriage is going the way of my first marriage, please make sure you are ok.
I dont like the threats of violence, please please make sure you are ok x
Hiya, thank you hun and to everyone else for your best wishes and concern.
Well to hell with that idiot, I start my new 'freelance' work tommorow and I dont care! He came home from work early today but I was out so not bothered.
I am sick to death of feeling so low and depressed, to be honest (and I cant believe I am gonna confess to this!!) but I have given up so many jobs, some of which have been good money and easy too cos of him and how he has made me feel in the past:eek:
I wasnt gonna start this job and then I thought to myself.......hold on, what are you doing!!?:eek::eek: live your life for god sakes woman, and dont let him drag you down. For too many years now, I have let him get away with too much, making me feel the lowest of the low. I think he just wants to keep me down so I dont fight back. almost be a servant if you like.
All the verbal stuff (I think) is like a mental torture, cruel if you ask me. But, dont you worry guys.....I will beat him and my depression.....AND I will WIN!!!!!! I have told him before, dont like it mate clear off!
gtg speak soon peeps xxxLBM: April 2009 - honest debt figure: Secured: £0.00!! (paid back april 2017) unsecured: £53117.48 (roughly):eek: back with CCCS starting again:(0 -
jasperconran wrote: »
All the verbal stuff (I think) is like a mental torture, cruel if you ask me. But, dont you worry guys.....I will beat him and my depression.....AND I will WIN!!!!!! I have told him before, dont like it mate clear off!
gtg speak soon peeps xxx
Lurk lots but don't post often. Just to say keep chin up and LOVING your fighting attitude JC.... Choc xxx0 -
jasperconran wrote: »I wasnt gonna start this job and then I thought to myself.......hold on, what are you doing!!?:eek::eek: live your life for god sakes woman, and dont let him drag you down. For too many years now, I have let him get away with too much, making me feel the lowest of the low. I think he just wants to keep me down so I dont fight back. almost be a servant if you like.
All the verbal stuff (I think) is like a mental torture, cruel if you ask me. But, dont you worry guys.....I will beat him and my depression.....AND I will WIN!!!!!! I have told him before, dont like it mate clear off!
Golly Jasper, I've just read over the past few months of your diary and what a story! And what an amazing wonderful lady you are!
My immediate thoughts:
1) OH has no intention of leaving - the threats to leave are his way of trying to keep you under his thumb. Next time he threatens to leave, say you couldn't agree more, be calm about it so he knows you are serious. Ask him how soon he thinks he could be out.
2) If your Mum hasn't already bailed out your overdraft, then don't let her do it, it's good money after bad. OH will only spend all the surplus on you.
3) If you haven't already got your own bank account, open one and keep it secret from OH. Keep your own stash in there.
4) Yes, teenagers are moody ungrateful selfish creatures a lot of the time. They do grow out of it though.
5) The only way you will ever achieve any kind of financial (and indeed emotional) stability is to kick OH out. Without him you can stick to your plans. Even if this means going bankrupt, it will be better than the situation you are in now. Stay with OH and your debt will just carry on getting bigger and your life will carry on being very tough. Without him, you can work your own business, claim tax credits, get maintenance from him and be free of all his excesses. Your home life will be peaceful and you will be so much more relaxed.
6) You are managing to keep going in the face of considerable odds. You are amazing.
Just my own thoughts and I appreciate I am jumping in feet first here. But I already care about you.0 -
peaceandfreedom wrote: »Golly Jasper, I've just read over the past few months of your diary and what a story! And what an amazing wonderful lady you are!
My immediate thoughts:
1) OH has no intention of leaving - the threats to leave are his way of trying to keep you under his thumb. Next time he threatens to leave, say you couldn't agree more, be calm about it so he knows you are serious. Ask him how soon he thinks he could be out.
2) If your Mum hasn't already bailed out your overdraft, then don't let her do it, it's good money after bad. OH will only spend all the surplus on you.
3) If you haven't already got your own bank account, open one and keep it secret from OH. Keep your own stash in there.
4) Yes, teenagers are moody ungrateful selfish creatures a lot of the time. They do grow out of it though.
5) The only way you will ever achieve any kind of financial (and indeed emotional) stability is to kick OH out. Without him you can stick to your plans. Even if this means going bankrupt, it will be better than the situation you are in now. Stay with OH and your debt will just carry on getting bigger and your life will carry on being very tough. Without him, you can work your own business, claim tax credits, get maintenance from him and be free of all his excesses. Your home life will be peaceful and you will be so much more relaxed.
6) You are managing to keep going in the face of considerable odds. You are amazing.
Just my own thoughts and I appreciate I am jumping in feet first here. But I already care about you.
Hi peaceandfreedom, welcome:)
Thank you for your kind words, Its appreciated. I actually opened my own bank account over a year ago, so that I can deal with all bills etc and I have my own savings account to:) not much in there yet, but its a start!
You are right of course on all points you have made. When OH is working and out of the house especially at the weekends (which isnt often!) the house is sooooo peaceful and even DD is happier which is sad really.
I have been up since 5am cant sleep:( too much going round in my head lol. I need to be braver I think.......my dad said to me a few months ago, "look, I do like your hubby but I dont like the way he talks to you and my granddaughter etc. Save up some money and run" bless him.......I know hes right of course, I just need to be brave and move on. I dont know whats stopping me really.
I would like to thank you all again for your kind words and support, it does truely make a difference.
have a great day everyone!
JC xxxLBM: April 2009 - honest debt figure: Secured: £0.00!! (paid back april 2017) unsecured: £53117.48 (roughly):eek: back with CCCS starting again:(0 -
When you are ready to do whats right for you , it will happen xTrying to shift that debt!0
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well, what a day so far!
Things have not gone right for OH today, so who bears the brunt of it??......ME!
Moaning about all sorts, says no food in the house, yeah right look in the fridge love!:rotfl: and then I get the abuse.....
You are a useless f****** dumb c***, I should divource you and you can go be useless somewhere else. All the jobs you do are f****** s***. f****** p***:(:(:( how does he think that makes me feel??
I am sitting here supposed to be working, when all I feel like doing is crying:( I try and I try, if he feels like this, I say again, WHY DOESNT HE GO?????? WHY DOES HE STAY????????
Why oh why, did I marry such a pig! Often DD will say to me, what the hell did you marry him for mum? to which I reply, then I wouldnt have you baby, to which shes replies, yeah well, I could have had a nicer dad!! Dont get me wrong, from the outside looking in, we've got it all. A hardworking husband and father who will literally do anything for his family, work himself to the bone to give us everything. And I admit he does do all of that, but at what price?? Its not use having these things although we are debt now cos of em!!! if you are not happy right?????
I am starving hungry, but to scared to move. stupid isnt it???LBM: April 2009 - honest debt figure: Secured: £0.00!! (paid back april 2017) unsecured: £53117.48 (roughly):eek: back with CCCS starting again:(0 -
jasperconran wrote: »Why oh why, did I marry such a pig! Often DD will say to me, what the hell did you marry him for mum? to which I reply, then I wouldnt have you baby, to which shes replies, yeah well, I could have had a nicer dad!! Dont get me wrong, from the outside looking in, we've got it all. A hardworking husband and father who will literally do anything for his family, work himself to the bone to give us everything. And I admit he does do all of that, but at what price?? Its not use having these things although we are debt now cos of em!!! if you are not happy right?????
I am starving hungry, but to scared to move. stupid isnt it???
Well, it's not stupid because you are paralysed by what he's doing to you. I'm lost for words really - I am horrified that anyone can speak to their loved one this way. I know it will take huge courage to do something about things but you will find that courage one day. ((hugs))0
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