JC's kick up the butt diary!

jasperconran

Well, update time! first post of 2012!

I wish to god I hadnt wasted so much of 2011 and had sorted out the separate pots for money sooner:mad: Oh well, better late than never, all looking good and it makes my life sooooo much easier cos I can see that everything is set outside for all the bills and everyday living and whats left I have decided to through at the debts.

OH is still hanging around and has been slightly better than of late, not sure if it will last we shall see!!!! I knew he would never go, my mum always did say 'hes all mouth and no trousers':rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I am going to give Ebay another go, and get this house decluttered once and for all. Ive got 2 wardrobes and a spare room full of crap:eek: (well, not all, some is like new!) so have got to get motivated.

I am still self managing our dmp, and although I was cross at how CCCS treated us, I will say this, they have given me the knowledge and the tools to deal with everything myself, so fingers crossed everything will be ok!!!!


Its a big challenge, but I am going to try and get rid of at least 5 out of our 11 creditors! so will be left with 6 by xmas 2012. WOW big big challenge, but I think with everything I am doing, it might just be doable. I am really gonna chance my arm with full and finals and see what happens.

I have got permission to talk to OH's creditors (some already with DCA's) as he flatly refuses to. So will be getting updated balances so I can keep a check on things. I may even doing monthly updated totals on here, to get motivated etc. Will see how it goes.

I hope you all had a lovely Xmas, and heres hoping we all have a fantastic and prosperous 2012!!!!!!


JC xxxxx

Nickg370

Hi JC. I've just spent a couple of hours reading your whole diary and I just cannot believe the way your husband has behaved / is behaving. It's appalling and the sooner you are away the better. He is a typical bully. From your postings, the last 2 Christmases he has told you a few days before the big day that he will be leaving after Christmas. This is just mental torture for you as he clearly isn't going to leave and I dread to think how that has impacted your enjoyment of the holiday season.

I can't believe he won't take responsibility for his debt and you have to try and sort this out for him. You have remained so positive and strong. He really doesn't deserve you. You are trying so hard and he is constantly undoing all the good work you are doing to help the family. I cannot agree more with all the comments you have had from friends on here over the last 18 months that you should let him sink and get out. He is clearly NEVER going to change, either his spending habits or his attitude towards you. I'm sure he's capable of being nice once in a while but that's not the point.

Keep strong and know there are people out here moved by your story who cannot wait to read on here that he is out of your life and you are further on your way to becoming debt-free!

jasperconran

Nickg370 wrote: »

Hi JC. I've just spent a couple of hours reading your whole diary and I just cannot believe the way your husband has behaved / is behaving. It's appalling and the sooner you are away the better. He is a typical bully. From your postings, the last 2 Christmases he has told you a few days before the big day that he will be leaving after Christmas. This is just mental torture for you as he clearly isn't going to leave and I dread to think how that has impacted your enjoyment of the holiday season.

I can't believe he won't take responsibility for his debt and you have to try and sort this out for him. You have remained so positive and strong. He really doesn't deserve you. You are trying so hard and he is constantly undoing all the good work you are doing to help the family. I cannot agree more with all the comments you have had from friends on here over the last 18 months that you should let him sink and get out. He is clearly NEVER going to change, either his spending habits or his attitude towards you. I'm sure he's capable of being nice once in a while but that's not the point.

Keep strong and know there are people out here moved by your story who cannot wait to read on here that he is out of your life and you are further on your way to becoming debt-free!

Hiya,

Thanks for popping in. you are right of course, everyone is however, I keep feeling that I just couldnt leave him to cope on his own, Im just not like that. Im not a nasty person, I am very caring (perhaps too caring for my own good!!!!!) I keep thinking if I can get everything clear, then leave, I can go with a clear conscience knowing that I did everything I could.

I totally understand where everyone is coming from. I have been trawling the internet looking for other work from home genuine opportunities (not just ebay) to try and earn extra money. Hell, Im even dreading tommorow as I am starting a work from home job I just know im gonna hate:eek: but im doing it cos I know I have to.

The sacrifices we make, huh?!

Creditor list to follow!! Ive gotta see it in black and white everyday otherwise I will lose track!

jasperconran

creditor list here we come:eek:

The creditors with numbers beside them are the ones I wanna try and clear first. They are all my debts save one which is the Santander. right here goes!!


CREDITOR DETAILS
1..Next Balance: £160.63 (accurate)

3.HSBC Balance: £955.00 (accurate)

6. MBNA Balance: £4778.13 (accurate)

2. Ace Balance: £232.70 (accurate)

Barclaycard Balance: £9042.85 (accurate)

5. HSBC Loan Balance: £4000.00 (roughly)

MBNA Balance: not sure

Metropolitan Balance: £7850.36 (as of Sept ‘11)

4. Santander Balance: awaiting confirmation (will get confirmation next week)

Blair Oliver Scott Balance: not sure (again, will get confirmation next week as have permission to speak to them on OH's behalf)

Barclaycard Account no: 4929101171548007 Balance: £4911.84 (accurate)


Told you it was a big challenge lol. But I think I can do it. With all the help and support I get on here, I can. Just think how im gonna feel if I do this, Im gonna feel absolutely amazing!!! fingers crossed

beanielou

Can I suggest you take the account numbers out of your post?

chevalier

Wow that is alot of debt, I kinda hadn't realised how much you had. It is going to take you LONG TIME to pay that off. If you are using that as the trigger to leave him, then you are going be to be waiting a LONG TIME. Do you want to do that? I would seriously consider going bankrupt for your debts. You have tried to pay them off and can't, you are trapped in an abusive marriage. If you go bankrupt for your debts, then you are free and clear, and can leave THIS YEAR......
chev

jasperconran

chevalier wrote: »

Wow that is alot of debt, I kinda hadn't realised how much you had. It is going to take you LONG TIME to pay that off. If you are using that as the trigger to leave him, then you are going be to be waiting a LONG TIME. Do you want to do that? I would seriously consider going bankrupt for your debts. You have tried to pay them off and can't, you are trapped in an abusive marriage. If you go bankrupt for your debts, then you are free and clear, and can leave THIS YEAR......
chev

Hiya Chev,

I know what you are saying and yes initially, the dmp will be for 5 years (well 4 now!) however, there are people on here that have had roughly the same amount of debt as me and have cleared £30,000 worth in a year! So I know it can be done.

If I get to a point and I cannot complete my challenge that I have set myself for this year, then yes I will seriously consider my other options.

Thanks as always for the support

peaceandfreedom

jasperconran wrote: »

I am writing this today with a heavy heart Its look like I MIGHT be able to get all the debts paid off next year through selling the house, reason for this, OH told me yesterday that he plans to leave me and DD in January.

Has he set a date? If not, ask him when he plans to leave and explain that you want to put your financial affairs in order and plan for the future for you and your DD.

Your life is not your own anymore until he is gone - do all you can to make sure he actually goes this time.

jasperconran

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

Has he set a date? If not, ask him when he plans to leave and explain that you want to put your financial affairs in order and plan for the future for you and your DD.

Your life is not your own anymore until he is gone - do all you can to make sure he actually goes this time.

Hiya,

I did ask, and he said that he didnt mean it:( which I hate and as someone quite rightly pointed out, he actually said this the xmas before as well!:eek: as I said in a previous post, all mouth and no trousers.




On a lighter note, got a new job as I said and I am looking into other things as well. I am going to start ebay again and on Sunday (once IT has gone to work) I am gonna ebay like a crazy woman!:rotfl::rotfl:

Putting funds to one side in all my different pots is working like a dream, just annoyed with myself that I didn't start doing this last year! duh what an idiot:mad: If I had, I probably could have been overpaying the debts like mad. Oh well, better late than never:)

I am thinking of taking a different course with the debts. I kept looking at my sig yesterday and I thought that maybe clearing the secured debt first would be a better idea. Its a much lower amount and might just be doable. That would free up, wait for it.......£485.23 per month!:eek::eek: OMG!! just think what I could do with that money! scary isnt it???

But I will wait to see what you all think, good idea or not???


have a great day all

JC xxxxxxxx

beanielou

Secured debt first is a great idea on many levels.