JC's kick up the butt diary!

jasperconran

peaceandfreedom wrote: »

I know it's easy enough for someone else to say (and I'm speaking as someone who is also very unhappy in their marriage but things are not as bad as they are for you) ... but Jasper, surely anything is better than the way you are living now.

Think about how nice it is when your OH is away for a day or two - how relaxed you & DD feel, how much nicer the house is. You can have that all the time, maybe not in the same house, but somewhere. It sounds like your DD would much prefer it as well.

You don't have to put up with this abuse. He seems to be holding a divorce over you as a threat. It's time you turned the tables and told him YOU want a divorce. Start standing up for yourself and tell this bully where to go. You've only got one life, start to live it they way YOU want to.

As I said, easy for me to say, a lot harder for you to do. But Jasper, things can be better if you take that first decisive step.

Hiya, thanks for the reply. I know exactly what you mean, in my heart I know. I am trying really hard to please him at the moment, but its hard cos I know I dont care anymore, isnt that awful? DD is barely speaking to him, only if she has to which breaks my heart as it shouldnt be this way.

He tells me he is so unhappy at the moment, I get that, I am too! I think that I am just trying to hold on, as financially I know me and DD will be better off with OH here, but I guess, Ive gotta ask myself at what cost?

He buries his head in the sand alot, and then gets all moody and we barely speak to each other at the moment. And when he does speak, he is so rude. In the mornings I get him being nice and then in the evenings we get either silence or rude and spiteful.

Not sure whats going to happen, I keep thinking maybe I should just tell him, that we should maybe have a trial separation and see how things go.

Dont know, my head is all over the place. watch this space

jasperconran

well things just get better and better:( had a snotty letter from Metropolitan today re my HSBC loan which stands at just under £4000. usual threats, door step collectors, ccj's court etc.

Anyway, I rang to have a go at them and found out that I had been given the wrong details!:eek: The guy said you have not paid us for two months, I was like what the hell!? I paid in December and January. To which he replied, payments were never received:eek: he advised that I need to claim the 2 payments back from Natwest which totals £59:mad::mad: I am so not happy.

The rep wanted me to do and I & E over the phone but I refused, so we agreed I would write in which would be better I think. So the account is now on hold for 2 weeks!

I am so fed up, if its not one thing, then its something else! Dare I say it, but most of the other creditors have been dead quiet (she says fingers crossed and touching wood!:rotfl:) just hope it stays that way, I cant cope with anymore stress.

Today I have felt like ending it all, its only thinking of DD thats stopping me. Will it never end!!!!?

jasperconran

got a bit of good news finally. Got a letter just come from Blair, Oliver and Scott responding to OH's letter.

They have accepted our new monthly payment proposal so now we havent gotta find £370 per month!:j soooooo happy, as you know, I was really stressing about this!


Ebay is still pants, but then £28 is better than nowt! so gonna try facebay, gumtree etc. also heard of a new site called wicycle or something (will have to find the link) no fees whatsoever! brilliant.

will update when I find the site!:)

PinotGrigio41

Sorry JC, not had a chance to drop by recently. This is great news this miserable Wednesday morning, just what you need by the sounds of it. At least its something to put a bit of a smile on your face !

I really hope that you are feeling a little better. I have nothing new to add re your situation at home, as I think everyone else has said it all. Im sorry things are still so tough, but re your post on the 19th Jan, really nothing at all is worth ending it all for......... No matter how tough things are. I really am a firm believer in that. I'm sure you are strong enough to turn this situation around both financially and personally, but when the time is right for you.

Take Care

Pinot x

beanielou

Good news today :j

turfy6

£370 is a lot and should really help you out. Hope you feel a little better today hugs

jasperconran

Thank you guys, I do feel sooooo much better:D

Had some more good news today, got a letter back from Barclaycard re: my credit card. I had a right go at them cos they are charging me over £54 per month interest:mad: Anyway, got a letter back today confirming a) they accept my new payment proposal and b) will be stopping all charges!:j

Just gotta sort out mbna and hsbc as I have had 2 quite nasty (but standard i guess) letters. But I dont care, as I said before being with CCCS for a short while has taught me alot. And I am getting more and more confident in dealing with the creditors. Im getting quite good at this!:rotfl::rotfl:

Still waiting to hear back from Metropolitan re: my HSBC loan. I basically told them I will be paying the same amount as the CCCS and outlined this in my I & E paperwork. So they can take it or leave it!

Rain has stopped, sun is shining. all in all, not a bad day!:)

Off to post ebay parcels. speak soon xxxxx

peaceandfreedom

jasperconran wrote: »

Rain has stopped, sun is shining. all in all, not a bad day!:)

Hi Jasper,

Sorry I haven't popped in for a while - good to see you in good cheer and that the sun is shining. Your recent news is good, well done on managing everything so well. :beer:

chevalier

glad to hear that your creditors are listening to you. Definitely a win about not having to pay 370 a month. But have you thought about going bankrupt? It would mean that you could move on with other parts of your life.....
chev

jasperconran

well what a weekend ive had. OH still complaining saying me and DD dont appreciate him. called DD a f****** little sh** etc. it all come to a head yesterday. basically, he sold his precious motorbike 2 years ago and now wants another one. I said save up for it then! but he is too impatient and wants me to get a loan for one!:eek: is he insane!? anyway he goes off to work so we have a row via text message, yeah whatever.

anyway to cut a long story short, he said 'why dont you try being a wife rather than taking the p*** to which I replied: " I dont feel I can please you anymore we pick and !!!!! at each other. I can see that I dont make you happy anymore like I used to". he said oh, so thats it then, then rang me and had a go. I put the phone down, he came in early hours of this morning and I am dreading, dreading him waking up.

I am so scared, should I just be brave and tell him to leave?? what if he wont go???? I am not working today, cos I need to sort some things out just in case, we do split.

To be honest, I think its probably for the best. So many nasty things have been said, mainly from him. DD is so much happier when hes not around, so what does that say?! I try, try so hard to please him and every week its the same, moan, moan, moan, slag me off, slag DD off.:(:(

I am also thinking of going for an IVA for my debts rather than bankruptcy. My debts total roughly £18,000 which isnt bad if I dont include the secured loan, which I wish to god we hadnt got.

OH debts total over £30,000:eek::eek: what should I do guys??

ask him to leave today, and then sort an IVA out? I will have to try and get a full time job now or see what benefits I can get, like housing etc. although I hate the idea of being on benefits.

you guys have always been great, please help me