How important is marriage?

Lotus-eater

ailuro2 wrote: »

My DH reckons most men shouldn't get married before they reach 30, and tbh time and time again it's proved a pretty accurate measure.

I think 40 is a good age.
Cr ap, I'm almost there

jdvhsully

I think the issue surrounding what happens when one of you dies is a sensible one to consider- after all they say you should have a will etc.

When my brother-in-law died 4 years ago, he live with his partner and they had been together 20 years. However because they were not married- she was not classed as his next of kin, so all paper work, discussions about the funeral etc had to be with his mother. Luckily we all get on well, and everything was done from my sister-in-laws persepctive with mother-in-laws support.

It helped that they had made wills naming each other- so you would need to look into that.

What ever you decide, both marriage and living together is hard work and not always a bed of roses. You need to tend the garden for it to grow.

Oldernotwiser

anguk wrote: »

I mean easier as in you don't have to go through the hassle & expense of a divorce. Sorry I'm not very good at explaining myself, I know what I mean but it's difficult to put it into words.

I understood what you meant but that's why being married is a bigger commitment than living together.

Anything that's harder to change shows a bigger commitment than something that's easy. It's more of a commitment to buy a house than to rent one and it's more of a commitment to join the army than to get a job in a shop.

Oldernotwiser

Almo wrote: »

Just because your husband is the kind of guy who's prepared to string people along doesn't mean all other men are like that.

But that's what all men who say this sort of thing mean - I've met enough of them in my time to know and understand that. Pretending that it isn't so is just wishful thinking on a woman's part.

Lotus-eater

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But that's what all men who say this sort of thing mean - I've met enough of them in my time to know and understand that. Pretending that it isn't so is just wishful thinking on a woman's part.

Complete and utter rubbish!

:rotfl:

Let's lump all women together who want to get married, as gold digging harlots shall we?

LilacPixie

Marriage was not (and is not) important to me. I really cannot tell the difference between a commited living together relationship and a married one.

OH on the other hand is different.

Oldernotwiser

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Complete and utter rubbish!

:rotfl:

Simply reporting my own and friends' experience.

Most women with any sense realise that a man who doesn't want to get married to them ( particularly if it's important to the woman herself ) is lacking in commitment. For some women it doesn't matter of course;I just think people shouldn't fool themselves.

aaronm_2

As a matter of fact, I have been wanting to get married with my girlfriend for at least a year but my dream hasn't come true yet. Because marriage seems not to be that simple. Since we both love each other a lot so we truly want to be together for life. To some extent, with only this we can get married. But the truth is it is not that enough. We have too many problems to consider. We all want to make the marriage a perfect one. So I am now working so hard to give her a happy life.

Jeff77

Marriage definitely needs a lot of commitment and it's not just the word commitment in its usual sense but commitment for a lifetime. I guess some people do not want to get married because they are afraid of the greater responsibility that comes with it. However, marriage is one of the greatest ways to prove your love to a person and most women would agree to this.

Lotus-eater

Jeff77 wrote: »

However, marriage is one of the greatest ways to prove your love to a person and most women would agree to this.

I thought having kids and staying with someone was the most important. Not to mention treating someone with respect.

But I suspect as long as you are married, all the rest comes out alright