OH just left.......I'm 11 weeks pregnant....UPDATE

candygirl

Stay strong hun:AAfter years of living with an alchy(before divorcing him), I can only say it will get worse if you stay with him.He has done you a favour by leaving, and wont get the help he needs till he has hit rock bottom:(:(
You are bound to feel vulnerable and scared at the mo, but take all the help you can from your parents and friends, and you will be ok xx:A

Anjiedee

You are very welcome, it felt weird writing it, but to us it was normal at the time, its only when we ge together and talk about it now and our friends, we realise it wasn't. I just wanted you too know that even though sometimes you think the children will be ok, if something is not right they piick up on things.
Well done for being so strong, i wish you all the luck for the future, you sound like a lovely person who deserves so much more. Big hugs to you.;)

emsywoo123

Anjiedee wrote: »

You are very welcome, it felt weird writing it, but to us it was normal at the time, its only when we ge together and talk about it now and our friends, we realise it wasn't. I just wanted you too know that even though sometimes you think the children will be ok, if something is not right they piick up on things.
Well done for being so strong, i wish you all the luck for the future, you sound like a lovely person who deserves so much more. Big hugs to you.;)

Thank you, I just cannot quite believe that it is over.

Anjiedee

I dont think it will sink in for a while, it can be a kind of surreal feeling , and everything and life just continues around you as normal.
Just to add an intresting point, my dads dad was also a alcoholic, and my brother sometimes can drink too much.
My dad always useds to pick an argument with my brother when he got older after a drink, so really my brother should calm it down a bit ( i do tell him too).
Packing his clothes will be hard, but just think that you will no longer be looking for signs that he is drinking, no more lies being told to you, and no more thinking that this is your fault, as it is NOT your fault. You do not hold that drink to his mouth. This is his problem, and the fact that he is hiding his drinking is showing it has spiralled out of control.

emsywoo123

Anjiedee wrote: »

I dont think it will sink in for a while, it can be a kind of surreal feeling , and everything and life just continues around you as normal.
Just to add an intresting point, my dads dad was also a alcoholic, and my brother sometimes can drink too much.
My dad always useds to pick an argument with my brother when he got older after a drink, so really my brother should calm it down a bit ( i do tell him too).
Packing his clothes will be hard, but just think that you will no longer be looking for signs that he is drinking, no more lies being told to you, and no more thinking that this is your fault, as it is NOT your fault. You do not hold that drink to his mouth. This is his problem, and the fact that he is hiding his drinking is showing it has spiralled out of control.

I know, all the worry and suspicion will go, I just feel empty.

Anjiedee

But then you will slowly start to get your life back, this will take time, in many ways a break up of a relationship, and when you have known someone a long time is like a Bereavement. You will grieve for what you have lost, get angry sometimes for them going, and then as time goes by you somehow learn to live with it, and the pain gets a little easier day by day. You will never forget, and you will always have memories of better times you spent together.
Time is a great healer, and you may not feel anything like it at the moment, but things will get better for you, you have a lovely daughter and a beautiful baby on the way that is sooooo going to be loved by you.
You just have to be strong, and dont weaken if he comes around, you have had him back before, and this time you are being the strong one, and this will probaly make him panic. Just remember that you are the one in the right.

msgnomey

and we are all thinking of you xxx

emsywoo123

I'm thinking of telling him to come and get his stuff this afternoon, DD and I can go to my parents while he does it.
Some of his stuff is in cupboards too high/behind heavy stuff and I have had some bleeds in this pregnancy already so do not really want to move stuff.
And why should I have to do the heartbreaking packing?
I have sorted Cds/DVDs etc and bagged those, everything else is either his or mine really (clothes etc)
I just do not think I can do it, and TBH do not see why I should put myself through it.
How does it sound, my plan?

neneromanova

The only reason I would say stay in the house is just to make sure he doesn't take things like the tv and say that it's his. That will cause you more stress if you try to get it back. Can a family member not come over and sit with you while he does get his stuff while you just sit on the sofa?

Anjiedee

That sounds very good, the less you see of him the better to be honest, as it will just upset you.
But has he got a key? because you want that back of him asap as he will probaly keep turming up if he hears nothing from you in the next couple of weeks, especially after he has had a drink.x