Psychopathbabbles Pyscho Babbling!

psychopathbabble

I was signed off work for a week on Thursday as I'm all blocked up and it just doesn't seem to be shifting. Had a nice weekend with MrS but in the back of my mind, I'm constantly worrying about my pay for this month as I've only actually worked a week of it which means I won't get paid much. Going to have to seriously sort myself out and be strong about saying no to things! The only thing planned over the next few weeks are my housemates birthday on Friday for which she wants a picnic and punting in Cambridge... I'm thinking about offering to drive so I don't spend money on drinking, and it'll be cheaper for everyone to pay for my parking than train fares. I've said to my friend I can't go on her hen weekend, although I feel bad about that, I've explained I'd rather get to her wedding and celebrate that.

Feeling guilty about joining the gym, so not sure how long it's going to last but I'll see how often I go and whether it's worth it. Haven't been yet as I can't breathe properly normally let alone whilst running on a treadmill!

psychopathbabble

Have managed an NSD today as I haven't left the house, yippee!

Am so very bored though, friends were round for a drink before they went out but now they have gone and it's so quiet. MrS was telling me yesterday he tihnks I should look for a new job with better prospects and pay so I have sort of been looking this evening but the trouble is I haven't a clue what I would like to do! I'm not ready to leave my current job, although I do know I need to move on at some point.

psychopathbabble

Ok so I have been good and cancelled my gym membership under a 10day money back guarantee so I ahven't lost anything. I did enjoy going but it was constantly in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be paying out for something like that yet, especially as next month's pay is going to be terrible after I've been off work so much this month.

I finally got some antibiotics today so hopefully it'll clear everything up at last and I can get back to work on Sunday. I'm almost definitely going to have a disciplinary again but if I had been at work then I definitely wouldn't be getting better now.

I will have quite a bit leftover this month from wages so trying to decide where to pay off the extra.... to my loan which finishes in December anyway but it takes up most of my monthly repayments? To one of my ccs which is the highest interest? One of my ods which I could pay half of but the charges would still be the same? I just can't decide!

I have joined up on the NSD thread in the hope that it will get my spending back under control, and I want to get back on the weekly spend threads too to try and keep track again as I can't carry on the way I have been since Christmas... have increased my debt to over 8k again MrS is fairly supportive but he has said that I need to get myself sorted now as in the long run he won't be able to support me if we move in together or whatever.

I am going home for the weekend in June to do a car boot to raise some spending money for Latitude Festival (yes it's almost that time of year again!).... I would list on ebay but I hate how much the fees are now, and the hassle, plus I don't think I've got anything worth that much to sell really.

I have just got back from being out with MrS but I came home early as I'm in a strange mood. Finished my counselling a few weeks ago as it was coming to an end anyway and I still didn't feel entirely comfortable with my counsellor. Am wondering whether I should increase my dose of meds again, although I really would prefer to come off them altogether. I did go cold turkey a few weeks ago but that was a big mistake... poor old MrS got shouted at a fair bit and I think he realised quite why I'm taking the medication I am!

Anyway off to bed now... only to be woken by MrS when he gets in.

psychopathbabble

Third day in the house, third day of BOREDOM! I guess I should do some uni work but just can't get my brain into gear for it. On the bright side at least I'm not spending any money. Which is excellent as I have NO money until tomorrow!

Will be getting my debt back under 8k again this month which is very good, but am rather annoyed at myself as I could be way nearer the 7k mark by now if I hadn't slipped so far off the wagon. Ah well, I guess I wouldn't be human if I was perfect, right?

I am very lucky that MrS is happy to pay for me when we go out for dinner and things, but it just reinforces the fact that I need to stay firmly on the wagon for a while as his patience with me will only last so long if I'm not actually getting my debt down.

My aim this month is to pay extra off my loan, so I can borrow enough from CU to pay it off, and reduce my monthly payment by around £80 which will help me get the other debts down.

I have really missed him this weekend as he was in Dundee for a wedding, I could have gone with him but was meant to work yesterday... as it happened i ended up not getting called so it was more frustrating that I wasn't with him! He is back tonight but I'll only see him for an hour or so as I have to get up at 4am tomorrow for work... that is going to hurt.

psychopathbabble

I seem to have got my debt almots back down to what it was in January... still annoyed with myself for letting it get so out of control again!

Today I am trying to catch up on 4 weeks worth of studying for my OU course, as my assignment is due on 20th June. I have just registered for two courses starting in October (1 x 60 point, 1 x 30 point) so I really need to get my time management skills on track and get organised!

In the garden, there is now 3 tomato plants, 1 strawberry plant, lots of flowers in the baskets, sunflowers that need planting out and a basil plant. Hoping some of this is successful so it motivates me to grow more foody things. I don't know what I'm doing, so I'd rather not try it and fail!

I had my interview feedback at last and it was really good. I just let myself down on one or two things, and apparently all the assessors want me to try again as I showed strong skills in most of the areas they were looking at. I was panicking slightly about getting the feedback as I was worried I'd done terribly, but feel a lot more positive now about how I came across and whether or not I could do the job. Just got to wait for it to come up again and then I can reapply.

I've applied for CU loan today to pay off my other loan, fingers crossed I get it and can increase my payments to other debts.

better get back to the uni books!