should have known better and yeah love is blind

burntfingers_2

Just feel on a bit of a downer at the moment and someone else mentioned that I had given them some really good advice and that they had taken it and could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Shame that I can't take my own advice .

OH pays a contribution of £400 a month at the moment, I have mentioned to him that we would need to sort out our finances to reflect the increases in the household etc but as I don't know what the council tax/water rates will be etc then its like fishing in the dark plus don't know what to do with regards the food shopping etc...with the flat it meant that he was contributing about £100 towards food as the household bills were relatively smaller then. I know he has to pay maintenance for 3 kids but as this could be CSA or verbal agreement its something that we have never discussed plus he has a loan which should be cleared next year sometime.

The other matter is in court today which isn't really helping as I know that this will be only the start of things to come. TBH its a part of my life that I so want to close the door on and walk away from but I will be still linked to !!!!!! for the foreseeable future

I rang my car insurance company and so much for NSD today the robbers have charged me £16.75 to change my policy back to my new address :mad: I told them that it wasn't my fault that there website was experiencing financial difficulties etc...but on the plus side my house insurance is with them and they refunded me £18.75 so I guess it kinda cancels that out :T
Gave me a quote for the car insurance which is due on the 12th June as £321.00 so it has gone up about £50 so not too much as expected although will be shopping around and using cashback sites too

I rang the mortgage company and spoke to someone with regards the repaying of the arrears and agreed to £50 per month on top of my normal monthly payment which is £498.12 although they can't set the DD to take this amount on 1.6.2011 so I have to ring up and manually make a payment for £50 on that date. She went through everything with me and said that they would then review it in November but if I had any further problems to ring them as they were there to help. She was really nice :Aso big pat on back for the girls at C & G :T

abba1772

Glad the call the the mortgage company was a success it makes such a difference when companies work with you and for you rather than against you isn't it x booooooo to the car insurance tho lol

I think the next step is to sit down with your OH and have a honest talk about finances as theres no point you worrying about this when he might be able to help and take some stress of your shoulders x

lucielle

Hello BF, I've been reading and lurking on your thread and you have made fantastic progress. I was wondering how your frined was doing with her gastric band, how's she feeling and more to the point if its working.
L

Flee_2

Chin up BF, things will get sorted out eventually with !!!!!! and you will finally be free.
Glad you sorted out your mortgage after you were worried about it. Hopefully things will be improving for you, you need some things to go your way for a change.

burntfingers_2

lucielle wrote: »

Hello BF, I've been reading and lurking on your thread and you have made fantastic progress. I was wondering how your frined was doing with her gastric band, how's she feeling and more to the point if its working.
L

Hi Lucielle and welcome to my diary....

As for my friend - AM is doing okay. AM had some horrendous bruising on her stomach said that she was sore for the first day or two then it settled down. AM could only have liquids for 2 weeks although was told that she should try and have some milk as this was protein but AM advised them that she didn't like milk so they told her to have hot chocolate. Needless to say she spent all day looking forwards to this to it have a very adverse effect on her and she ended up dashing off to the loo.

I then saw AM a couple of weeks later and she was having her evening meal....(which was pureed chinese !!! :eek:) from the night before....:( think she ate about 10 teaspoon fulls and then announced she was full.

I know AM has to go back and have the band inflated in a couple of weeks but as I didn't and don't agree with her having it done, then we haven't seen much of each other but having said that I work full-time and plus she has this ejit boyfriend :mad: who is seeing other women behind her back and sleeping with them...(he tells her its only sex !!) and she forgives him everytime. So if he is about then I tend to stay away, AM says one of these days she will kick him out, 'when she has lost all her weight and then he knows what he is going to be missing' her words not mine....

AM is looking slimmer, although I don't know how much weight she has lost or intends to lose to get to her ideal weight....or as to whether she will be happier when she has done so??? Time will tell.

Just hope that AM gets the confidence to kick him up the harris and get rid of him and find someone that treats her as she should be. AM is such a lovely person and would do anything for anyone, she deserves so much more AM has even said this herself when she is in floods of tears 'cos he has gone off for the weekend yet again...:mad: hate seeing her upset like this.

burntfingers_2

Wednesday evening I got home to find a letter from the court...my heart sank as I thought that the divorce papers had been returned undelivered....quick scan through and they were issued on the day that I had gone to the court so !!!!!! would have got them on Wednesday the same as me.

Just now waiting for the proverbial to hit the fan, although if !!!!!! is playing mr dumb A s s !! then he will kick off big time :mad: but if he plays it clever he could get away with just signing the papers and returning them back to court without his new strumpet even seeing them. Which would be a great result.....but I suspect that he will charge off to his solicitor who will then write to me, which confirms that he has received them, apparently even if he doesn't return them back to the court then the divorce can still go ahead.:j

No news from the police as to what happened in court on Tuesday. I can either ring them myself or wait for them to contact me - need to get my head out of the sand and deal with it !! Instead of ignoring the situation and hoping that it will go away.

Met up with work colleague for lunch on Wednesday cheapo deal at Frankie and Benny's all in £10 including a drink still was good to have a catch up with her, especially as she now works in a different department still trying to badger her into starting running but it aint working !!

Yesterday was a LSD as I gave DS £2 for his lunch at college.

Went out with another friend (TP) for tea and was having such a good catch up about all our mutual friends and discussing her recent holiday. Spoke to TP about the debts and she said all this time you have managed to bring the kids up on your own and to now get to this time of your life to think that you have to start paying all the debts on your own etc....spoke more with TP about the domestic violence and what happened and when, TP has known me for about 11 years and wanted to know why I hadn't told her when it was going on.

I explained that its the of it all and the fact that you can't understand why its going on so how can you expect someone else to understand it. A lot of people think its black and white but when you are in that situation it really isn't. TP was very shocked but hugged me and said that I had done so well to get this far and that I had taken back control of the situation by filing for the divorce.

Will discuss with OH about the finances this weekend as my mortgage is due on the 1st of June - my pay day is the 15th of each month where his is the 23rd or something like that so increases need to be made this month.

Am doing okay with the cashback sites so far have managed to get £151.27 on one site, then £88.56 on another and then the third one is £132.08 although the latter one is very slow and shows as logged but still as pending....all this is going to go to my debt fund. I am going to try and concentrate on one debt at a time andany extra I get will just go on that one. Only trouble is have the astronomical gas/elec bills to pay so I think that this will be swallowed up by them although think that it will be a while before the cash backs come through as checking on them I am not in the next pay run. Am still doing surverys etc...some pay cash some pay vouchers so am not sure which is the best so far so need to monitor this a bit more and get into a routine of doing them....

Oh well better get some work done....hope everyone has a great day....catch up when I can

bf xxx

burntfingers_2

Just realised that today is pay day :j

That means another payment of £67 has come off my employers loan....so that is now down to £1193.58 as I have no expenses to claim back this month (so far) then it won't come down anymore, hopefully by next month's pay day I can manage to pay extra and get it to £1000.00 (as the balance decreases then so does the interest) then it will take around a further 15 payments to clear this (although in reality if keep using my expenses) then this could be reduced to around 12 months so by May 2012 I am looking to clear this loan which by then will have wiped off 12 months payments and interest.

If I then look at clearing my old bank accounts overdraft and use this payment of £67 towards that plus my £5 token payment and round it up to £75 then that will take me around 18 months to clear that but if I use my expenses again this could be reduced by maybe 3-4 months to around 14 months so in effect that would be August 2013.

My car loan balance would have gone down greatly by then and I would have around £735 which if I paid my £147 + £75 per month which would clear the loan in 3.3 months so in effect knocking off a further 2 months from the car agreement.

In real terms that would give me then £222.00 a month to clear my debts will need to do some further number crunching to come up with the final debt free date !!

abba1772

you sound like your on top of things with the number crunching hun...well done you will get there....we all will x x x

funnyflipp

How are you BF I hope things are not getting to you too much,
Hope you managed to get a CCCS app
thinking of you xxxx

Funny

LittleBoots

Hope youre okay BF