should have known better and yeah love is blind

burntfingers_2

LAM2011 wrote: »

How is your friend doing after her surgery?

My friend is now home. :T AM rang me when she had come round from the surgery amazed that she was in such pain !?!?!? Her words were ' I thought it would be like when I had my foot done' :eek: She was on the morphine and was feeling really light headed and dizzy.

I am sorry to say that I wasn't sympathetic and told her that she would need to get used to it as this would be a normal feeling along with the diarohea and the sickness...oh and would need to get used to taking supplements for the rest of her life too.......this only really confirms that she rushed into the decision . Needless to say her useless OH didn't even visit her in hospital and neither did her mum

We couldn't visit her either as we were at the hospital with my dad but she understood that we couldn't be in two places at once. AM thinks the world of my dad too so naturally was upset too.

With visiting OH's brother means I can't visit my dad tonight although my mum is appreciative of what I have done, this is a natural reaction so didn't need any thanking......although my other sister said' that she would try to get to see him, but was going to have her tea first' :mad: :mad: talk about getting your priorities right...:(

Will have a chat with AM tonight and have a catch up with her....:)

LittleBoots

Best wishes to your Dad, sounds like he is on medication to get rid of the excess fluid in his body. Once they sort that they will probably change his usual medications around a bit. I take it hes already on pills to reduce the workload of his heart...it may be a case that they're worked a bit too well so his heart hasnt been able to pump as well resulting in the fluid building up. The doctors will be able to sort it . If he has been unfortunate to pick up a chest infection too, it may just take him that wee bit longer til he's back to his normal self. Wishing him a speedy recovery xxx

burntfingers_2

Morning

We went to see OH's brother last night and he was in good better spirits seems that his partner had got it totally wrong and that the surgeon DID find viable bone :j:j They have harvested some bone marrow to transplant back into his left left leg in 12 weeks time they are hoping by this time a sheath of bone will have formed around the pigs bone that they have transplanted....they will then pack the sheath with his own bone marrow, growth hormones and antibiotics and that should take.

Brother asked the surgeon if this failed what would happen? He was informed that they would then fit external fixaters on both sides of his left leg which he would keep on for 2 years....OH's brother said that he didn't want that and would then opt for it amputating as it would then have been 4 years and if that didn't work it would be the same result.

Brother has 5 soon to be 6 grand-children and wants to get on with this life, he doesn't want to spend time sleeping downstairs whilst his partner sleeps upstairs. Brother wants to be able to go on holiday and take the kids out in the summer. He has accepted that he will not ride a 2 wheeled bike anymore, but is talking about getting back on a 3 wheeler or something I am not the one up on bikes so it went straight over my head On the whole he was more positive and surprisingly looked really well. :) My OH is now back to his usual smiley self. :A

As for my dad he remains in hospital - he had his heart scan yesterday although the junior doctor said that he wouldn't try to explain it as he wasn't experienced enough so would leave it to the specialist to explain in more detail today. Although he did say that my dad has got an inflammed chamber in his heart and that his heart has been damaged.

My dad is still having breathing problems as when he lays down 'cos his heart isn't working properly then the fluid is collecting on his lungs. My mum is beside herself with worry....she has said that my dad has to give up work a year earlier and retire straight away rather than waiting for next year as he will then be 65.

My dad is worried how they will cope financially. My dad has always worked really hard and think he will find it hard to retire.....:( but I am leaning more towards my mum's idea, but I know he would hate it....:(

Hopefully by the end of today will know more with regards to my dad and what treatment they are going to give him etc.

Flee_2

Good news about your OH's brother, and hopefully he will not lose his leg. Hope your Dad starts to pick up too. Maybe he should slow down and take early retirement and rest. Though it may be easier said than done.

burntfingers_2

On another note...

I told OH last night that I just wanted to go home....he was really pleased :T to hear this as he was hoping that I would feel that way before we moved back

We are going to the 'new' house tomorrow and are going to paper both the bedroom and the lounge walls. One is paste the wall :j that is dead easy to do and so quick so that shouldn't take too long to do. The other is the chimney breast so as that isn't too big either shouldn't take too long either.

Hopefully we can get the new doors on but as OH needs to borrow some tools from my dad to be able to fit them will just have to see how things go with Dad as to when he is home etc.

Also yesterday the housing officer did an impromptu visit to the flat was suprised to find OH there but she was doing an exit inspection. She remarked and how nice the flat was and that we were exemplary tenants and it was a shame that we wasn't staying. Glenn explained about the house and it being sat empty, also saying that there would be someone who needed the flat so it was only fair that we give it up and let someone else have it...maybe someone like me escaping a violent relationshop....then just as she was leaving my DD came out of my DS bedroom in her pj's :eek: (she had slept in there with her friend and DS had slept on the floor in the lounge) - but this woman didn't know that I had a daughter as they only ask you who is going to live in the place and as it was DS and myself then those were the only two names that went on the application form.

OH said her face was a picture and said that he had visions of her emailing me telling me that there was a man and a strange girl in my flat....:rotfl::rotfl:

Should have an answer on funding today.....feel soooooooooooo nervous.:(

funnyflipp

Oh well the housing lady will have something to talk about in the pub at the end of the week!

Glad OH and his brother have had some positive news, so just your dad now, have everything crossed for him and will be thinking of you over the weekend
All the best for operation happy memories in the new house it sounds like it's really coming together

xx

burntfingers_2

email I just received from my solicitor

Dear burntfingers,
I have received a letter today from barstewards solicitors. Apparently !!!!!! has recently lost his job and he is struggling to pay the court fee for the divorce. It may take him a few weeks to get the funds together. I assume therefore that even if he was in receipt of legal aid, he still had to make a contribution to the court fee. If however, he has lost his job, he may get free court fees especially if he is receiving benefits yet.
In any event they have suggested to avoid any further delay, that you issue, but that you meet the costs and do not charge him. He also wants to see the petition before you send it out.

I tried to call to discuss this. The options are:-

• <He continues to issue as the papers are already drafted and you both share the court fees
• You instruct me to issue and he either he shares your costs and/or you both share the court fees
• We wait for him to save the money up!

Let me know what you think.

what DO I think????? :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

I have had a brief chat with my solicitor (HM) and she raised the fact that if he isnt working then he would be entitled to legal aid and be excempt from the court fees. Both agree that this is the cheapest route, he files, I sign = divorce....eventually :T

Solicitor (HM) has said that she will ring barstewards solicitors and get to the bottom of whether he is/has been on legal aid or has been self funding??

My instincts are that !!!!!! is lying. :mad: I think that he wasn't working before and the fact that he thought he was going to get something spurred him on, but since he has found work now then it could be that he has found out that now he has to pay for his legal expenses.:rotfl::rotfl:come to think of it these last couple of months he has been really quiet with the solicitors letters etc.

I am NOT going to pay half of the court fees AND then sign to say that it is my fault :mad: (when realistically its his, as to why we are getting divorced) but at the time conceded if it was a cheaper option then would just sign it to get rid of him and it is the same end result....:T

Or the alternative expensive route............

I file for divorce. :eek:

I don't think I will be able to claim any costs against him (as he is allegedly not working)....although ME?? giving them a copy of the divorce papers before it goes to court ...errrr DON'T THINK SO !!!

I won't be giving him the chance to dispute ANY of the allegations and will be hitting him with the full truth of it all, domestic violence, cheating and not forgetting the drug dealing either the court papers will be filed at court WITH all the gory details and won't be !!!!! footing around him just to be saving face with his fiancee :mad::mad::mad: although doing it this way Sols (HM) said that !!!!!! could technically not return them, :mad::mad: which would mean that I would need to use a tracing agent to serve the papers which would cost me an extra £150 + VAT. Which !!!!!! would do that :mad: :mad: so it cost me more money...but I will be applying for costs if that happens.:)

This means that the debt fund will take a bashing and some...I have asked Solicitor (HM) to check as to how much more she will need from me to proceed with the divorce and also what I have on account already although know that I can get the divorce papers from the court and can complete them myself so that will save me some money....

I previously sent barstewards solicitor the original marriage certificate. But by the time that my solicitor has written to his it will have cost me more for the letter than the actual copy of the certificate.

Oh...have just heard also about the funding :T ...... the secondment place is having a meeting on Wednesday afternoon to discuss it further, 12 peeps are on the board, 3 want to keep me already, even if its just on a temp basis until my employer can get lottery bid funding and if they can't then they want to keep me anyhow - but it does depend on the vote etc. I am quite hopeful though

burntfingers_2

funnyflipp wrote: »

Oh well the housing lady will have something to talk about in the pub at the end of the week!

Glad OH and his brother have had some positive news, so just your dad now, have everything crossed for him and will be thinking of you over the weekend
All the best for operation happy memories in the new house it sounds like it's really coming together

xx

OH said that her face was a picture....:rotfl::rotfl:I was panicking thinking that she might have thought that I had sublet it....:eek:

burntfingers_2

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy :j:j

My dad is coming home from hospital. My mum just rang me to tell me....at least she had stopped crying now :T

Can't wait to see him especially with not having all those wires and machines bleeping :)

LittleBoots

Hiya

Glad to hear your Dad is coming home! . Hope you have some nice sunny weather he can relax in...
Ooooh your ex hubby is an !!!!!, what an idiot, how very dare he! It's not fair that he is making it so hard for you, like he hasnt made your life hard enough. Must be frustrating for him to know that you are happy, moving on and have a much much better life without him.
Hope the funding meets go well, fingers crossed x