should have known better and yeah love is blind

burntfingers_2

the anxiety attacks are back again with a vengance ...I am feeling totally stressed out with the fact that my job is under threat due to funding cuts and being asked over and over again whether I have heard anything...whilst people are being concerned its just re-iterating over and over again...it is soooooooooo frustrating :mad: that my job is so worthwhile and makes such a huge difference to many people and after nearly 3 years in this position everything is going to go down the pan....:( Redundancy is looming at the end of June and with the house sale/divorce etc....was hoping to come off my medication this month too as doctor thought I had made such good progress....

Then my employer has told me that the only position that they may be able to offer would mean a hefty pay cut plus I would then have to pay daily parking charges of around £8 per day on top....and its the total opposite of what I do now...and its against my morals

burntfingers_2

Now have got the :mad::mad::mad::mad: out of the way on a more positive note my lovely OH and I had some pics done at the weekend and they are really, really lovely. When we were younger we never had any taken of us together so this was something that we wanted to do, it would have been great to compare the two but we have some amazing pics together and thats the main thing. Everyone who has seen them have commented on them, his daughters even said that I brought out the best in him and we looked so very happy together :) :j

Managed to spend £22.00 (had budgeted £70) on grceries at the supermarket on Friday evening, had made a list and stuck to it only buying what we needed. Although OH paid for the wine and vodka....:beer:, we stayed in on Saturday night so cheapo night as just drank the vodka... :rotfl:so NSD for me Saturday, Sunday OH took me out for Sunday lunch which meant I spent £5.25 on a couple of drinks although was a very nice meal....:) and of course the company was wonderful.

Yesterday I spent £16.00 on car parking :eek: for a meeting at Head Office, can claim this back so not too bad, but have put in a claim for the remainder of my expenses which is £34.50, I will use that to pay off some of my loan with my employer...then as I was so with the way the meeting had gone I spent £2.25 on a sandwich and a bun...

Am aiming for 3 NSD's this week......:D

abba1772

just read this from start to finish and I can I just say........WELL DONE

as for all the rubbish thats going on, you're doing so well chin up and don't let it beat you x

burntfingers_2

Have decided to take a leaf out of littleboots's book and do a plan for this month

So big :hello:to March 2011...

To do:-

Pay mortgage (1 of 3) reduced payments of £[STRIKE]250[/STRIKE]
Pay rent weekly £[STRIKE]64.00[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]£64.00[/STRIKE], [STRIKE]£64.00[/STRIKE], [STRIKE]£64.00,[/STRIKE] £[STRIKE]64.00[/STRIKE][STRIKE]Pay mobile phone bill [/STRIKE]£[STRIKE]28.00 [/STRIKE](Son's contract phone)

[STRIKE]
Contact Rent office to advise of change of name
[/STRIKE][STRIKE]Change driving licence over to maiden name[/STRIKE]:j
[STRIKE]Send change of name deed to solicitor[/STRIKE]:j

[STRIKE]
To do signature
[/STRIKE][STRIKE]
To find avatar for my diary
[/STRIKE]To have at least 15 no spend days [STRIKE]1[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]2[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]3[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]4[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]5[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]6[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]7[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]8[/STRIKE],[STRIKE]9,[/STRIKE][STRIKE][STRIKE]10[/STRIKE][/STRIKE],[STRIKE]11[/STRIKE],12,13,14,15
To meal plan for the month

[STRIKE]
List sofa on ebay
[/STRIKE][STRIKE]List antique drawers on ebay[/STRIKE][STRIKE]Change bank details over on pay pal account[/STRIKE]
[STRIKE]Post my friends birthday card [/STRIKE]:bdaycake:

Wii fit at least three times a week...:rotfl:

[STRIKE]Put shelves up in bathroom although that is for OH [/STRIKE]:T

[STRIKE]Unpack remaining boxes[/STRIKE] :eek:


:eek: big list but what the hell gotta start somewhere.....:rotfl:

burntfingers_2

Totally stressed today and feeling really anxious with everything going on, overslept and then should have been partaking in a run at lunchtime but left kit at home.

Phone call received from Estate Agent advising potential buyer has increased offer to £82,500. I refused this and told the agent that I was thinking of taking it off the market and renting it out instead. Estate Agent went back to buyer and suddenly the offer has been increased back to £84k. I have accepted this although it is £1k lower than his offer of two weeks ago. Estate Agent advises that I should take it as they have seen proof of his funds etc and he is in a good position to proceed :eek: (funnily enough thought they were supposed to do this prior to them viewing the property!?!?!?! and was one of the reasons as to why I went with them :mad: thats why their fees are so high compared to other estate agents !!! there blah not mine)

Positive note house sold subject to contract :j and fingers crossed it will go through this time :T my nerves can't take any more, moving home, divorce and selling a house the three stressful things to do :eek: but what doesn't breaks us, makes us stronger.:)

Emailed divorce solicitor to get onto barstewards and remove charge from house letting sale go through, although my sols has had agree to do an undertaking to hold the money until finances sorted for divorce :mad:

Onwards and upwards :beer:

abba1772

thats good news about the house.

I to am going through a divorce, like your soon to be ex always bullied me into letting him have things but i left him and only took my debt (was £11k) so 2 kids and no job didn't see how i would pay for it.

Thank goodness a year and a half later, we've got a cracking little flat all paid for by myself (saved liked nobody's business) and didn't put any of it on the CC's have got a part-time job and we're settled. Yes I get things that knocked us, like you my ex decided to go for divorce proceedings before me (I can't til May this year as it needs to be two years in scotland) and the lies were just horrific.....accused me of adultery, claimed i did a moonlight flit and kidnapped the kids (we were living in england when I left) and that I was refusing to live within my means

But I'm contesting it as I'm not taking that from no one and I have paperwork to claim otherwise x x x clever me lol

So no matter what knocks us down we need to show them we can get up and get on with it and never who them that we're beaten

I'm glad you have a supportive OH he sounds wonderful, thats what I need to find now lol

burntfingers_2

Hi abba1972

I managed to get rehoused by our local council as my abusers family lived next door to where I originally lived.

The flat was in a bit of a mess when I got it, and of course everything needed doing but I have managed to fund it all myself (without credit cards or loans) as at that point my OH still had his own place. Recently we bought bedroom furniture and he paid half (amazing that someone doesn't think that its just down to me to pay for everything!)

OH has been totally amazing and helped me with the decorating and if I stayed til 1am then he did too, he is everything that I ever wanted and more besides. I always thought that I was chasing the impossible dream and that type of man only ever existed in my imagination, I wasn't in a place to meet anyone and had pushed it right to the back of my mind. I met OH again after many, many years and its been absolutely wonderful :j

With regards the divorce and my !!!!!! hubby my solicitor told me as he was getting legal aid then it would be more cost effective for me to sign the divorce paperwork although add onto it 'whilst I don't agree with the allegations made against me, because there has been a past history of domestic violence and I also proof of his adultery' the Judge will then see that I have signed just to get rid of him :T(those who have the last laugh and all that :cool:.....so he may think I have signed to say that I have done this and that...but in real terms the Judge will know different :rotfl:

Whilst I am having to fund the divorce myself which has so far cost £850 :mad:

I have paperwork and can prove everything he ever did, but for me I just want the divorce and want to get rid of him. As for the debts I am the one left paying them as they are in my sole name, he couldn't get any credit so I was the MUG that used the credit cards etc.

Oh well, live and learn.:A

Well done on you :T getting your own flat etc and making the place 'home' its so much harder when your children are younger. Sounds like your DD is learning from a young age which is not a bad thing. I was a single parent for 12 years and my DD and DS knew not to natter for things and if I said No then they accepted it.

Nearly home time for me....so will say have a good evening and I will be popping back to read your diary too...xx

burntfingers_2

Received another phone call from Estate agents which confirmed that their solicitors will price match my local solicitors so that in effect has shaved off £150.00 :joff the bill.

Also the buyer is keen to get things moving :eek: after two weeks of messing about and said that he wants to view the house again on Saturday as he wants to measure up!! :T Can't really blame him to be fair it is a buyers market..but my stress levels were through the roof :mad::o:)

Am feeling much calmer today and can stay focussed on what needs to be done. Plus I have changed my name on my driving licence, my divorce papers will be in my new name and the rent on the flat will be in my new name....plus a bonus when the census comes around I am ME again !!! :rotfl:Okay it maybe in name only and will still be married to !!!!!! but means I won't have to put his name on there !!!:beer:

Life is moving forwards....onwards and upwards...:j:j

abba1772

thats great that things are moving on with the house.....hopefully it's soon to be one less thing to worry about x x x well done on the £150 saving :T:T

burntfingers_2

:)Yes, it is good that the house seems to be moving forward especially as he wants to measure up. :j

One less hassle to worry about. Plus once the house has gone I will be another £23.00 per month better off as I won't have to pay the buildings/contents insurance :T

Once the funds are released from the solicitors I am aiming to pay my car finance off thought been that if I am made redundant at the end of June then at least my secure debt is paid. The remainder of the debts at the moment are all accepting £5 pm, they are not hassling me nor are they adding interest.

I will only be entitled to JSA or whatever it is now called. I will use this towards the household bills and my darling OH will cover the remainder of the household costs etc including the rent/groceries etc. He has said that we are in this together :kisses3:

Although he doesn't know the full extent of the debts as yet. I will tell him if the need arises although I have printed off my online debt and left it for him to read. It did say in it somewhere that the debt was around £32k but am really not sure due to the fact that the solicitors has all my details and this does include my HP for my car. (although I will look into selling this if I lose my job).

I have debts which is a loan around £5k, a CC with M&S £8k, then two further CC's with £4500k on one and the other is around £4k I have an old o/draft with balance of £1500 and then Barclaycard £1800 ish, then employer loan £1446ish although paying this off from my salary and know that if I receive any redundancy pay they will take it to clear this balance as they have with other colleagues that have left :mad:

Onwards and Upwards