ARGH!!! Husband with money and attitude!

sp1987

If one were to play devil's advocate, they might ask for details of the modules the OP did for her QLD, or at which firm the OP worked, as this wouldn't give out any personal details as she doesn't work there now.

I'm not much of an advocate, so I won't ask such questions

lynzpower

consultant31 wrote: »

For a "top lawyer", the OP seems not to know much!

Is there any need?

Most people who come to this site have out-of-control finances, and many of them are lawyers, teachers, doctors, hell even accountants.

Is there a reason why you cannot follow the basics of

PLEASE BE NICE TO ALL MONEYSAVERS????

SuziQ

There are other discrepancies that you didn't clear up?


Anyway,I hope you get it all sorted. I know with painful experience what it's like when things are not right in a relationship. Sometimes being with someone can feel like the loneliest place in the world. Just don't think that what happens on holiday means it's all fine,as that really isn't 'real' life. Good luck OP.

mister_bojangles

Confusedroast, it's a pity that your original complaints of your husband taking advantage of you has been turned into a thread in which you are blamed for what you should have known or done. Your husband may not be manipulative or controlling or hiding funds, but he is taking advantage of your generosity and living as if you still brought in £4k monthly.

It's very easy to say: 'he's not grown up'. That's a lame excuse. He's doing what he does because he knows that he has a partner who will bail him out. As long as you keep doing that, he won't change.

I'm surprised that you are busy with a loft conversion while out of work. Loft conversion with your savings?? If I were your husband, I'll ask that we move to a bigger home, with your savings. I know that you'll complain but oblige. It seems as if there's nothing that you won't do for him. This is what they call: Love is blind.

confusedroast

Funny other events have taken place this morning (already) and I thought I should share as this thread is still going

Husband asked to borrow the car this mornign for a meeting (a car btw that I brought outright) - I told him yesterday afternoon "yeah sure no problem but it has no fuel in it and last time you borrowed it you brought it back empty" He said thats cool I got my expenses for it so I will fill it up on Friday

THis morning at 6am he says - still cool with the car?
Yes but as I said it has now fuel so allow yourself some time to put some in before going to said meeting
Husband: "What? So I cant even get to the meeting and back? I have no money!"
Me: "I did say yesterday there is no fuel, I dont have any money either so dd and I walked to baby group and back yesterday, until payday eg tomorrow"
Husband: "Well thats just great isnt it"
Me "Dont you have £10 left over from the weekend?"
Husband "No I spent it on lunch as you didnt make me any yesterday"
Me "Well you will have to re-arrange your meeting then because I dont have any money either"

So he went off in a huff in the car....maybe he will break down who knows?!

:eek:

98jdougl

maybe not having enough money left for petrol could be a good wake up call for him?

confusedroast

exactly! I think...no I KNOW he expected me to put some petrol in the car yesterday, I didnt use the car though and I thought Hmmm lets see what happens when he sees we really have NO MONEY til payday which is tomorrow!!

shellsuit

confusedroast wrote: »

Funny other events have taken place this morning (already) and I thought I should share as this thread is still going

Husband asked to borrow the car this mornign for a meeting (a car btw that I brought outright) - I told him yesterday afternoon "yeah sure no problem but it has no fuel in it and last time you borrowed it you brought it back empty" He said thats cool I got my expenses for it so I will fill it up on Friday

THis morning at 6am he says - still cool with the car?
Yes but as I said it has now fuel so allow yourself some time to put some in before going to said meeting
Husband: "What? So I cant even get to the meeting and back? I have no money!"
Me: "I did say yesterday there is no fuel, I dont have any money either so dd and I walked to baby group and back yesterday, until payday eg tomorrow"
Husband: "Well thats just great isnt it"
Me "Dont you have £10 left over from the weekend?"
Husband "No I spent it on lunch as you didnt make me any yesterday"
Me "Well you will have to re-arrange your meeting then because I dont have any money either"

So he went off in a huff in the car....maybe he will break down who knows?!

:eek:

Brought it from where?

Why does this matter though, why does it matter who bought and paid for what?

You're husband and wife, there should be no 'mine' and 'yours' as things should be equal.

Is this a case of 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine'??

I feel for your husband now after catching up on this thread ~ you have been banging away money and moaning at him about the money he is earning.

What about using the money you have been squirreling away, to pay for the things you are moaning at him for not paying?

And why are they YOUR savings? If money comes into the household, regardless where from, then isn't it both your money?

I'll have to buy a sleeping bag because OH bought our bed, but saying that, he can sit on the floor because I bought the suite ~ see how sad and petty that sounds?

74jax

shellsuit wrote: »

Brought it from where?

Why does this matter though, why does it matter who bought and paid for what?

You're husband and wife, there should be no 'mine' and 'yours' as things should be equal.

I 'think' op is meaning she and her husband bought it outright, as in 'paid for it in full' so they are not paying out monthly for it now. I think anyway...

confusedroast

shellsuit wrote: »

Brought it from where?

Why does this matter though, why does it matter who bought and paid for what?

You're husband and wife, there should be no 'mine' and 'yours' as things should be equal.

Is this a case of 'what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine'??

I feel for your husband now after catching up on this thread ~ you have been banging away money and moaning at him about the money he is earning.

What about using the money you have been squirreling away, to pay for the things you are moaning at him for not paying?

And why are they YOUR savings? If money comes into the household, regardless where from, then isn't it both your money?

I'll have to buy a sleeping bag because OH bought our bed, but saying that, he can sit on the floor because I bought the suite ~ see how sad and petty that sounds?

WOW you really have read this thread PROPERLY and THOROUGHLY haven't you? Because if you had REALLY read it you will see that all the savings I have been "Squirelling away" as you put it are going into the loft conversion, the holidays I have paid for are now "Our" holidays as I see that he pays the mortgage every month so I should treat us as a "family" to a holiday!, Whatever comes out is ours now - I only put that it was my car as it was something else that we were going to buy and then he said he didnt have the money for... thats all