Need support and advice - OH in trouble...

jla

Compulsive_Gambler wrote:

Where does that first stat come from, its unproven and to be honest its a sad way to think of an organisation that helps thousends of people weekly/tens of thousends of people monthly and maybe if that was the attitude that you had going into the meeting then its probably why you didn't feel it worked.



It sounds like you have an almost hatred for GA, and the whole premise of GA is based on honesty and if people could 'just stop' then why are there so many compulsive gamblers that get up each morning promising that today they won't gamble (on their own) and thus promptly go and gamble.

What i am trying to say is that whilst GA might not have worked for yourself there isn't any need to slate and create lies about it which might put of potential other compulsive gamblers from getting help. Just because you might not have been honest in the meeting, you might not have gotten the full experience and you might not have been 'open minded' (which by the way is a request when people go to the Gordon house which then makes me ask...why were you open minded then and not at GA)

I'm not trying to have a go at you because if you have fully stopped gambling for that time its amazing but then after reading only a snippet of your story it seems that you had completly hit rock bottom i just think your thinking in a negative way about people based on your own experience and that can lead to trouble.

compulsive gambler, I stopped gambling as you said when at rock bottam on my own after going to ga many times. i just stopped and was pretty bad case,i felt terrible for 4 weeks but bit by bit i felt like a ok person.I found the hard part ,trying to get a decent job and dealing with debts after stopping gambling.
I have not been to gordon house as a resident but refer people their and the results are really good but not for everyone.

Compulsive_Gambler

jla wrote:

compulsive gambler,i think i do my bit to try and help people.what would be worse would be to give more hope to gamblers and their familys than is correct.

I totally agree but then putting down an organisation if i was to guess probably helps more gamblers than the Gordon house is wrong

the figures come from gamcare in 1998 who asked 2000 people if ga had stopped them gambling.their are 10 questions and the anwsers are really shocking.

Have you got a link for this because i would be very interested. The only thing i would say is that Gamcare is an organisation that is paid for by the gambling industry so there is a conflict of interest


I would check everything ,computer history,and all the things the lady is doing,5 minutes late(why,ect}. Totally agree with this point

I now work with people who are arrested and have a gambling problem,i go to meet them in the cells ect .i have already been to 4 funerals this year from young people who could not cope with life. With the boom in the internet gambling it only makes sense that more people especially the youth become compulsive and the consequences are devestating

also,i think it is very hard to continue working at first when trying to stop,my advice would be to see your gp and get 4 weeks off work,just spend the time not gambling.not easy to do with bills,familly ect but worth it if you stop long term.Again debatable because alot of people gamble because they are bored and if you take time of work and don't fill it up with things to do then you are leaving yourself open.

jerry

Its interesting to see another point of view on the matter and differant views but as has been said before its what works best for the individuals. It doesn't get enough publicity compared to alcoholism, drugs etc but with this boom in the internet gambling it could become probably the worst addiction to have.

This will be my last post on this thread because i do not want to hijack it, if anyone wishes to discuss it further then please pm me.

lil_me

Well done on getting through this so far, as an outsider it would be so easy to make judgement, by mine so far is that you've both worked very hard at solving this problem and put everything into it. Inspiring and proves that nothing is impossible with effort, love and support. I wish you all the best for the future.

jla

Compulsive_Gambler wrote:

Its interesting to see another point of view on the matter and differant views but as has been said before its what works best for the individuals. It doesn't get enough publicity compared to alcoholism, drugs etc but with this boom in the internet gambling it could become probably the worst addiction to have.

This will be my last post on this thread because i do not want to hijack it, if anyone wishes to discuss it further then please pm me.

i m also hijacking this thread,this will be my last post.
i will get the details of the ga document when next at work(tues)and pm you a copy,also got other ones that are interesting from the casino association re addiction..
i was on a tv programme two weeks ago with john mac from channal 4 where he was trying to say that if you go in any betting shop ,no more than 1 or 2 of the people in their are losing more than they can afford.
what rubbish,anyone who goes in their local bookie will tell a different story.

katskorner

jla and compulsive gambler - thanks for your input and thanks for bowing out. This thread was started because I needed help (and still need this to vent and update every couple of weeks). I will be using it for a while yet. I think we both may (thunderstruck and I ....).

jla

katskorner wrote:

jla and compulsive gambler - thanks for your input and thanks for bowing out. This thread was started because I needed help (and still need this to vent and update every couple of weeks). I will be using it for a while yet. I think we both may (thunderstruck and I ....).

good luck katskorner and really hope things do go well for you and family.

Lisa982

Hi katskorner - I found out my husband had gambled (online) and created debts to an amount of about £50k early this year. It was tough & we are still trying to resolve the trust issues but everything goes through me now & we are slowly starting to rebuild our marriage. I love him so much & married him for better or worse and so I'm going to help him get through it..... he is now on A DMP with payplan & things are looking up and the gambling has stopped. He was caught in a spiral of trying to recover his losses without me finding out - thankfully he owned up & admitted his mistakes & thank god he did!! Good luck & feel free to keep in touch via this thread if you want? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

katskorner

Lisa982 wrote:

Hi katskorner - I found out my husband had gambled (online) and created debts to an amount of about £50k early this year. It was tough & we are still trying to resolve the trust issues but everything goes through me now & we are slowly starting to rebuild our marriage. I love him so much & married him for better or worse and so I'm going to help him get through it..... he is now on A DMP with payplan & things are looking up and the gambling has stopped. He was caught in a spiral of trying to recover his losses without me finding out - thankfully he owned up & admitted his mistakes & thank god he did!! Good luck & feel free to keep in touch via this thread if you want? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thanks Lisa982 - I really appreciate talking to someone else who knows how it feels. PM me if you like. Katskorner.

mad-max_4

Hi Katskorner and Lisa982 :hello:

I was so touched by your stories - it must be very hard when the trust in a relationship is tested to such an extent.

I am in no position to offer you practical advice but I wanted you both to know that I am thinking of you.

xx

SSB

Hi
It is good to hear that this gambling problem is being recognised, however if my partner would land himself in similar predicament, I would not pay his debts for him. Not because I'm mean or do not love him but because it would send a wrong message.
I currently work in a profession were we often deal with individuals with addiction issues and learning to take the responsibility for their actions is a massive hurdle. Therefore, it is up to your husband to fully face the situation and tell you what he intends to do. If his debts are cleared quickly and by you, it does not give him time to fully appreciate the consequences of his actions.
Good luck to both of you and all the best.