How much should I "pay" my ex to have HIS kids

seven-day-weekend

Dazzieboo wrote:

I think the idea of a quarter of the tax credits is a way of meeting him in the middle. My Daughter is aghast at the idea he wants money and has told me she will keep a spending diary and let me know what he spent on them !!!

How does your daughter know he has asked for money?

ben500

babysaver wrote:

Why not offer him £175.38? If he pays £760 per month, £175.38 works out at one week's money so it means he's not paying anything the week he's watching his own kids...

But then he is still showing a defecit of £175.38 the agreed costs of the children for one week, if you are looking for fairness the payment would be the same as he is paying her ie £175.38 plus the return of that months payment of £175.38 in respect of that week, making a total of £350.76.

Dazzieboo

seven-day-weekend wrote:

How does your daughter know he has asked for money?

She read the e-mail :rolleyes:

Prudent

When the rowntree foundation helped the csa decide on the amount to set for child support they apparently factored into the equation that the parent without care was still likely to take the children on holiday. Initially it was felt 17% of net income was the correct amount of support for one child. This was reduced to 15% to allow for things like holidays, gifts etc. The amount he pays (if done by csa guidelines) assumes your ex will take them on holiday for two weeks per year. It seems he is getting a cheap option - one week at his house and no entertainment costs because they are school. Tell him he's getting a bargain...

My ex is exactly the same as yours - never feel alone! Good luck

debsue

I dont often post but your post has made my blood boil, he doesnt deserve to be their father. The money you get not only feeds them but puts clothes on their back and shoes on their feet, pays for school expenditure etc. If they were my children I would make other arrangemts and tell him to go forth.

hankc35

I think its disgusting that you want X amount of money from him, yet when the situation is reversed you want to offer a token payment of £100, what was the extra that he would pay for that week going on? holiday cocktails?

mishkanorman

hankc35,

The money the OP gets is to cover his part of the cost of bringing up their children. There are untold expenses that arise, and he is paying to ensure that his children arent living in poverty or ending up homeless because their mum cant pay all the necessary payments (food, electricity, council tax, etc) By the sounds of it he would rather pay money than actually look after them himself anyway
Are you saying that as the OP is a mum she doesnt deserve a holiday ?
I receive and spend our tax credits on what i please, my OH feels that if im happy and relaxed then the kids will be as well.

For the fact of looking after the children for 1 week I think he should have some part of the tax credit as its intention is to make sure the kids are cared for, however the costs arent going to be over £100.

The payments he is making isnt calculated on a monthly cost, it is purely only paid this way so its easier for the EX, otherwise he would have to stump up a years worth in advance. So you cant really say that because the kids will be away from their home for 7 days the payments should drop by that amount. I presume he doesnt pay extra over the summer holidays when they are at home more and the expense rises.


mishka

BrokeBrunette

hankc35 wrote:

I think its disgusting that you want X amount of money from him, yet when the situation is reversed you want to offer a token payment of £100, what was the extra that he would pay for that week going on? holiday cocktails?

Hank, as has been stated previously, the money given by an absent parent is NOT just to cover food. It has to cover hundreds of things: clothes, a roof over their head, shoes, school trips, any childrens clubs etc ,pocket money - in fact far too many things to list, I could go on forever. My ex pays the bare minimum to me and I know that what he pays me doesn't cover anywhere near half what the children cost me, however I work and we manage.

The OP has to provide a stable home for her children and a roof over their heads. That still applies even if they are not in their home for a week. She is also entitled to a break as it appears she is looking after her children 365 days a year!!!!

hankc35

The OP has to provide a stable home for her children and a roof over their heads.

at £800 a month I think the father is doing that.

mishkanorman

No hankc35 unfortunately all he is doing is slinging money at her, stabilty comes from much harder work then setting up a standing order.