Somone coming into my house...

tandraig

Alyth - if thats your life, studying and you love it - it isnt sad hun. tbh I could spend my life reading about the things that interest me - but unfortunately i have to cook clean and babysit. dont make apologies for the way you live if thats the way you want to live it.

[Deleted User]

And just remeber, you are safer now than you have been in months!

tandraig

Alyth - your dog may regard the stalker as a friend now - but i would bet my last pound if YOU were threatened that dog would defend YOU. youre its owner friend mum etc. and rotties are famous as guard dogs! they arent stupid either.
take the security measures on board - sleep with the rottie - and set up some traps. you will be fine. hun - if it wasnt such a long way from you to here - i would offer my spare room. if you need it the offer is open.

alyth

oh thank you tandraig - actually I'm starting to feel a bit weepy now, which isn't like me - just the emotions of the last couple of days coming together I guess. I would give mutley an extra bonio but she's on a strict diet now! Only once has she showed true rottie traits, and she terrified me - most of the time she lies on the sofa and can't be bothered to get up!

I guess I just don't the use of the word stalker - this is a guy I thought was a friend, I've known him for five years, why would someone want to come in and look through your stuff - it was when the policeman said did I think he had gotten into my bed that also freaked me out! There are so many other things now that fall into place, I also feel kind of stupid for not realising sooner what he was doing.

I love my life but it's not nice that someone has invaded it like this without an invitation. I'm a really private person, my split from my husband was very public (locally!) and I just retreated into myself with my books and the dog and a few friends, one of whom has betrayed me horribly.

Errata

Alyth - you're just having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. If you need to hear the sound of another human voice during the night to come, ring the Samaritans, they're always there to listen and help people through a momentary difficult time.
If your ears play tricks on you, and that can happen when people are a bit stressed, ring the Police for a bit of reassurance. They may be having a quiet night and happy to send a couple of big blokes round, who will happily drink tea with you and eat all your biscuits.

alyth

Policeman just called, they are 99% sure it is the older guy but he was very cagey and scared they said, but they have to eliminate the married guy. The security measures they are now talking about are frightening but I know it is for my own safety.

I'm okay, I'm crying a bit now which is probably good, I feel as if I have opened a horrible can of worms now though. I want to call my parents but they will go balistic, I feel a bit alone but I have to go to college in the morning to get exam results.

I think I feel like a muppet - and like a statistic. Stupid middle aged woman trusts a person and he decides there is something more to it than friends - a lesson learn for me.

MrsE_2

alyth wrote: »

Policeman just called, they are 99% sure it is the older guy but he was very cagey and scared they said, but they have to eliminate the married guy. The security measures they are now talking about are frightening but I know it is for my own safety.

I'm okay, I'm crying a bit now which is probably good, I feel as if I have opened a horrible can of worms now though. I want to call my parents but they will go balistic, I feel a bit alone but I have to go to college in the morning to get exam results.

I think I feel like a muppet - and like a statistic. Stupid middle aged woman trusts a person and he decides there is something more to it than friends - a lesson learn for me.

The tears are just your emotions coming out, its natural.
You haven't opened a can of worms, let them do their security measure, chances are you won't need it, but its no harm to have.

Have you no one who can visit for a while?

You're not a stupid middle aged woman, you're a woman - it happens to all of us at some point, men are incredibly egotistical sometimes & can't take no for an answer, no matter how blunt.

tabskitten

Why the hell are you still there?
get your stuff together and go stay at a friends!

curlygirl1971

Just to be clear - you are not a muppet, you are much more than a statistic (evento us online!), THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! And i thought you said you were 40.... That's not middle aged

Would you be so kind as to tell us what your degree is? What exams are you doing?

Errata

I think I feel like a muppet - and like a statistic. Stupid middle aged woman trusts a person and he decides there is something more to it than friends - a lesson learn for me.

The only lesson to be learned is that sometimes some men can be totally gormless and unrealistic. But you knew that anyway didn't you.
You're not a victim, muppet, stupid or too trusting. It's a natural reaction to start blaming yourself, but it's not a truthful one. Don't get upset, get mad. How dare he !