Somone coming into my house...

Fire_Fox

alyth wrote: »

I did wonder about his bond with my dog - he really does/did love her. But no, he was absolutely moving things about and playing mindgames with me. I had a chat with my student advisor (sound stupid saying that at my age!) today about it, but apart from one friend he's the only person I have told.

The more I think about it the more it's been going on for probably at least 18 months, I had a nice/weird chat with the married guy today as well, he said he's no idea where the key was, voiced the same fears he'd voiced before about the old guy, and he's more than happy to speak to the police.

Weird things keep popping into my head, that he must have been involved with - A teddy bear once appeared in my garage that only he could have put there. To put this in context I have no friends that come to the house and my parents live miles away and rarely visit. He was the person that always looked after the dog.

I do feel safer now, but I suspect he will come into the shop on Saturday which is going to be very awkward. I will though just totally blank him, I have no intentions of ever speaking to him again, but can't jeopardise my job by being rude to a customer.

As always thank you all again, I will now lose myself in the German Wars of Unification!!

Have you changed the locks? If he comes into the shop to me that is a sign the police chat has not had the desired effect, I would seriously suggest you consider a restraining order at that point.

MrsE_2

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Have you changed the locks? If he comes into the shop to me that is a sign the police chat has not had the desired effect, I would seriously suggest you consider a restraining order at that point.

I agree if he comes in the shop, don't pu$$y foot around, play hardball with him. DON'T feel sorry for him either.

Glitzkiss

honeyD wrote: »

Ah sorry I didnt realise he had been doing other stuff! Maybe I missed that bit lol.

You and me both HD. I also thought perhaps it was the dog he was visiting until I read tandraig's post after yours

Alyth, please don't let the actions of one individual change the way you view life completely. Take care, and take reasonable precautions over your safety but continue to live your life how you wish. Good luck with your studies

alyth

Honey I probably didn't post about the other stuff, some of it is so weird and personal it just creeps me out - moving things about, telling people at his work that I was his girlfriend which came about when a friend got a temp job at his work.

The locks are changed but for some reason I am like a cat on a roof tonight - I am very jumpy, something creaked in the attic earlier, probably just a mouse, but at one stage I almost rang the police as I was convinced he was hiding up there. I have been thinking about the restraining order, my advisor guy suggested it today, so I am going to wait and see what happens in the shop this weekend - I used to work in law so I can get it done reasonably quickly as my friend still works in the company.

And I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest, I'm more worried about if people find out - like if he tells people in the area and they comment on it.

Errata

And I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest, I'm more worried about if people find out - like if he tells people in the area and they comment on it.

Perhaps you'll just have to get on with your life and accept you won't be able to control how it's talked about. Some people will go 'ugh yeah, thought he was a weirdo' and others will say 'never, he's a really lovely bloke'.
You know what you know, and if he's given a restraining order it will be clear to people that he ain't the lovely bloke they thought he was.
Don't forget, you could ask your health practice for some counselling support which might help to put perspective on all of this and give you some strategies to deal with how you think and feel about it.

Glitzkiss

alyth wrote: »

Honey I probably didn't post about the other stuff, some of it is so weird and personal it just creeps me out - moving things about, telling people at his work that I was his girlfriend which came about when a friend got a temp job at his work.

The locks are changed but for some reason I am like a cat on a roof tonight - I am very jumpy, something creaked in the attic earlier, probably just a mouse, but at one stage I almost rang the police as I was convinced he was hiding up there. I have been thinking about the restraining order, my advisor guy suggested it today, so I am going to wait and see what happens in the shop this weekend - I used to work in law so I can get it done reasonably quickly as my friend still works in the company.

And I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest, I'm more worried about if people find out - like if he tells people in the area and they comment on it.

Just tell the truth if it gets out. He's the one in the wrong not you and, in my experience, small villages are more protective of the vulnerable.

tandraig

Alyth - I realise you are a private person and prefer not to discuss your life - but this time make an exeption. tell the people in work why you wont serve this man. then tell your neighbours what he has done in your home. as for anyone else...if they dont matter to you - dont bother explaining. but i would tell your workmates and nieghbours - because you are going to enlist their help to make sure this person doesnt do this again! hun, gossip isnt going to hurt you, as long as the people who you care about and care about you know the truth. you may think the people you work with dont care - but you may be surprised that they DO care about a colleague. and your neighbours wont want a disturbed person around so will be willing to keep an eye out.just let them know that your dog is only walked by you. tell them hun, you may be surprised at things they noticed but thought was ok by you.

MrsE_2

alyth wrote: »

And I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest, I'm more worried about if people find out - like if he tells people in the area and they comment on it.

He's the one who should be worried about people finding out, you have NOTHING to hide & have done NOTHING wrong.

alyth

tandraig wrote: »

Alyth - I realise you are a private person and prefer not to discuss your life - but this time make an exeption. tell the people in work why you wont serve this man. then tell your neighbours what he has done in your home. as for anyone else...if they dont matter to you - dont bother explaining. but i would tell your workmates and nieghbours - because you are going to enlist their help to make sure this person doesnt do this again! hun, gossip isnt going to hurt you, as long as the people who you care about and care about you know the truth. you may think the people you work with dont care - but you may be surprised that they DO care about a colleague. and your neighbours wont want a disturbed person around so will be willing to keep an eye out.just let them know that your dog is only walked by you. tell them hun, you may be surprised at things they noticed but thought was ok by you.

Thank you - I stayed in this village (and it is not Alyth which is a village in Perthshire, I chose the name because I like the singer ) when I split because I had a huge amount of support from everyone - my ex moved the pregnant girl he had been having an affair with into the house we had together and for months I had fantastic support from everyone and I suspect I will get the same now. It's just kind of a shame factor - for me anyway. I know that because he spent so much time up here people said we were having an affair, small villages aren't able to keep secrets. But it's the stupid things - what if his wife comes screaming into work at me? I am 100% sure that he has been in the house, as are the police, but there is no evidence in which to charge him - unless someone knows a way of making the dog speak!

stripedwellies

alyth wrote: »

what if his wife comes screaming into work at me?

Refer her to his work colleagues?