Somone coming into my house...

flossyblog

I'm sorry you feel I'm being insensitive, that really was not my intention at all.

alyth

Got to admit I am sleeping with the phone and a carving knife at the moment!

I told a couple of people at college today, and strangely one of the girls had had a similar experience to me - an ex that wouldn't leave her alone, hers was rather more frighteining in that he broke into her house when she was out.

Flossy you did scare me, but that scenario couldn't happen in my case, for reasons I don't want to post, but it's amazing that once someone posts something then there's always some horrific experience that someone has gone through. The guy has a weird relationship with his wife which the whole place knows about, she's never ever come into the shop that I know of, and they don't speak to each other, so I should be okay from that perspective.

The girl at college though with the ex said that even now she sleeps with a baseball bat next to her bed - maybe I need to take a measure like that just to reassure myself!

bestpud

alyth wrote: »

Got to admit I am sleeping with the phone and a carving knife at the moment!

I told a couple of people at college today, and strangely one of the girls had had a similar experience to me - an ex that wouldn't leave her alone, hers was rather more frighteining in that he broke into her house when she was out.

Flossy you did scare me, but that scenario couldn't happen in my case, for reasons I don't want to post, but it's amazing that once someone posts something then there's always some horrific experience that someone has gone through. The guy has a weird relationship with his wife which the whole place knows about, she's never ever come into the shop that I know of, and they don't speak to each other, so I should be okay from that perspective.

The girl at college though with the ex said that even now she sleeps with a baseball bat next to her bed - maybe I need to take a measure like that just to reassure myself!

I think incidents of this nature are more common than many of us think.

I agree you need a strategy to make you feel easier at night - I know I would.

Would your neighbours hear an alarm if you set it off in your house? If so, would they be prepared to come round if they heard it go off, do you think? That may help you feel a but safer at least...

I'm not a bit surprised you are feeling hyper vigilant at the moment. Take it easy and use your uni counselling service if you find things don't settle over the next few weeks.

alyth

no my neighbours wouldn't be able to come round if they heard an alarm unfortunately due to age issues. Measures are being put in place that I don't want to mention on here (sorry my paranoia at the moment is even stretching to this site!), they should be done at the beginning of the week, and the dog is fairly good, she will woof at cars when they go past.

It's just the silly things - normally I go for an hour's walk with the dog each day with the ipod - I'm too scared to use that just now in case he/someone attacks me!!

And thanks for the uni counselling service thing, I never actually thought of that - I'll look that up on Monday as I think this has affected me more than I thought, it'll take a bit of time to get over it, I want to see whether he comes into work this weekend but I suspect not, so I think after Sunday I will sleep a bit better.

MrsE_2

alyth wrote: »

no my neighbours wouldn't be able to come round if they heard an alarm unfortunately due to age issues. Measures are being put in place that I don't want to mention on here (sorry my paranoia at the moment is even stretching to this site!), they should be done at the beginning of the week, and the dog is fairly good, she will woof at cars when they go past.

It's just the silly things - normally I go for an hour's walk with the dog each day with the ipod - I'm too scared to use that just now in case he/someone attacks me!!

And thanks for the uni counselling service thing, I never actually thought of that - I'll look that up on Monday as I think this has affected me more than I thought, it'll take a bit of time to get over it, I want to see whether he comes into work this weekend but I suspect not, so I think after Sunday I will sleep a bit better.

We won't know what he might have done, but you're far safer now;)

bestpud

alyth wrote: »

that I don't want to mention on here (sorry my paranoia at the moment is even stretching to this site!)

I think that's a sensible precaution tbh - glad you're getting some support.

tandraig

Alyth - the knife isnt a good idea unless you know how to use one (and as you said its a carving knife - you dont) its more likely that it will be used against you. also, if you did use it - you may well face charges yourself.
will pm you ok?

RosaBernicia

hi Alyth

just read through here and wanted to send you thoughts. Tandraig has just said exactly what I was worrying about re. the knife.

It's natural that your reactions will change, your mind/ body protects you and lets you deal with things as you can cope with them. Just remember you can always post if you want to 'talk' things through (some of us are even here at silly hours of night lol)

Sleep safe

Rosa xx

ailuro2

Alyth, let me make it clear I'm not suggesting anything is going to happen for you to need to use the skills, but .... have you thought about getting yourself along to a self defence class or a martial arts class that's based mostly on self defence, it will give you a confidence boost in how to look after yourself and give you a chance to relax again in your own home. Sadly, this is what your 'mystery visitor' has taken from you.

OK, so martial arts/self defence classes won't teach you how to take someone down and restrain / disarm them in your first class, but you will quickly learn how to stop someone getting a right good hold of you, giving you time to escape and summon help. Also chokes that the average person would use are pretty easy to get out of once you know how, just knowing you could do this would help you sleep more soundly at night. That and some bubble wrap/plastic bags placed at entry points so you hear any intruders. Nowhere that the dog would be able to rustle them though.;)



We also use kali sticks/escrima at the martial arts class I go to, while I doubt it would be lawful to use my kali sticks against an intruder, by strange coincidence there are a couple of old broomsticks from hallowe'en that have lost their 'broom' part that have been left lying in my bedroom, I keep meaning to tidy them away...;)

I know I could likely keep an intruder at bay with them, but to use a knife means getting closer to any intruder, so it would be more of a risk. Also if they get the sticks off me I've a good chance of surviving a beating with a stick, a knife takes less skill to do permanent damage.

I'm 40,overweight,not that fit, but started class less than 2 years ago, I am now much more confident walking round town, I used to be a bit nervous but now that I'm more aware and more capable of defending myself I think it makes me less of a target.


It's worth noting though, the guy has only been moving stuff in your house, making friends with the dog, maybe he saw it as a way to be close to you as he likes you and means no harm, just doesn't understand that it's not normal to be close to someone without them actually 'being there'. He has not shown any trend towards violence so try to remember the facts and not worry too much.

I know you're rural, but you're right not to walk with your ipod in, hopefully everyone reading this will realise that we all need to be on our guard when out alone, and be aware of our surroundings and not be listening to loud music, talking constantly on the phone, not paying attention to our surroundings. That's what makes us vulnerable to anyone with less than good intentions.

I hope you're feeling a bit better today, don't be shy, try to tell people what is happening, let them know you have had someone in your home without your consent, but make sure you don't tell them who it is, but let the word go round and you might find a witness comes forward who has seen the person but just didn't realise the person wasn't still consensually feeding your dog for you.

carefullycautious

With Respect MrsE the op had put herself at great risk by ignoring what was happening. She needed to be jolted into realising the potential for harm from this person (no it may not have happened)

I would rather scare someone witless into taking action than read the other alternative which does not bear thinking about.

After working for many years within mental health I would rather the op guards her safety.