Somone coming into my house...

dawn_rose

hiya hun so sorry for what you been thru id be mrs paranoid if it were me. on the safety note 2 things id keep by the side of my bed if i were you and you cant get in trouble for having em un like the carving knife. 1) a fork you use to eat with also good to carry in your pocket when out and about as cant get in trouble for it. 2) a can of hairspray to the eyes will stun em whilst you get out. both are household objects left lying around innocently (that late night pot noodle) hair spray ect. hope your feeling ok hun. x

tandraig

the trouble with the fork is you have to get up close and personal to use it! I dont want to give too much away - you dont know who is lurking on these threads - but the idea is to keep as much distance from intruder and to disable them enough to get away without injuring them more than you need to.
unless you jab the fork in very vulnerable place all you will do will be to enrage the intruder and perhaps get more badly hurt than you would otherwise. so fork that for good self defense!!! as for carrying it in your pocket when out and about....who on earth takes a dog for a walk with a fork in their pocket????? no court is going to believe that you forgot it was there!!!!
there are better ways to legally defend yourself...and a good self defence class will help here.

tandraig

i will say this though - items a lady keeps in bedroom or bathroom like hairspray, perfume, body spray ie most aerosols when sprayed in the face if they hit the eyes will disable someone for enough time for the person to get around them and out to call for help. and you cannot get charged for using them. as most of them only have short term effects (just ask the lab rabbits....one shot wont cause permanent damage).

alyth

Actually, on the subject of body spray, at work we keep it under the counter in case of attack - just remembered that! We also have the usual security measures but the body spray also works for those customers that have perhaps not treated their personal hygiene as an important matter!

Today was fine, there was no sign of him, although word must have got out as the wife of his friend was extremely rude to me. I can cope with that! Have to admit I was extremely nervous at work thought, as I didn't have any colleagues with me but I started to relax - until horrendously my ex who I have not seen for months walked in - that's taken my mind off the stalker!

Without giving too much away cameras as one of the measures that are being implemented, as well as other stuff so by the time I am finished. I have a very idyllic life in my home and location, and everything else really, so I don't want to move - in fact I was thinking today why should I.

So I'm more relaxed today, I will still be very wary though for the next few months I think but I guess that's to be expected. I do have a plan of action thought with regards to all the advice I have given, which has been fantastic, self defence, counselling, etc.

So thank you all again for your help and advice, even the scary loft story! You've all been there through a difficult week for me, and I really do appreciate your posts.

tandraig

Alyth - you said your ex walked in? apart from emotional feelings - do you think he has anything to do with this? or did he come in to reassure you he didnt? i seem to remember you saying he warned you about this other guy? why? or have i got that wrong?

alyth

Ex has nothing to do with this, for that I am sure - he had an affair and now lives with his girlfriend and baby, we've had no contact for at least six months, and I didn't tell him about this - I've told very few people, but ex did warn me about this guy when we split up which was two years ago. He basically said to watch out for Fred because Fred always seemed to be at my house when ex came up - we had about a year of sorting stuff out before it was all finalised.

Fred's not his real name, I'm just fed up of calling him old guy!!

Emotionally it was weird seeing ex, I started shaking really badly but apart from telling him to go to Tescos in future(!) we didn't speak.

tandraig

hun, ex co-operated with police, been ok with you, he prob just came in to shop to reassure himself you were ok. he cares on some level. wouldnt you?
he seems like decent enough bloke - not a psycho anyway!
he warned you bout fred - perhaps fred said something or he just sensed something. pity he didnt say anything more helpful! like 'freds a right pervert - dont let him near you'
i should imagine you were more concernced about your relationship at the time!
hun - can you get some time off work? holiday time? you need to relax and regroup. and gain some self confidence - i sense yours is shattered right now.

Errata

You go girl, it will take a very tough nut to crack you :T Your place will be more secure than Buckingham Palace :j

You've scored two victorys today - seeing off the wife of Fred's friend and telling your OH where to go. Not bad going, is it ?

alyth

Fort Knox will have nothing on this place, and hopefully the dog will start to lose weight now I know that he's been feeding her, poor hound.

Yes I'm proud of myself, I was like a startled rabbit when ex came into the shop, nowhere to run, no one to serve him but me, but I did it!

I've two weeks to go before easter holidays, three exams to get through, the one this week I know I will fail but it's not an important one, I can't really concentrate on it just now. So come easter I will be okay, I can take some time off, I love gardening so I will do my veggie patch and make up all my pots, but truly I am okay - a little tired maybe, but I have a massive sense of achievement tonight. Ex is fine, after 15 years we've history but it should have ended a lot earlier than it did, he's happy and I'm happy.

I truly will be staying away from men for a long time now - although I'm not exactly out clubbing it every weekend!

tandraig

Alyth - do you realise how strong you are? over the last couple of weeks you have faced up to your ex - your least of your worries - and a stalker? not many peoplel can do that and still carry on their daily lives.
not to mention you have had exams! you have to be a very grounded strong person to do that - and when exams are over - go on holiday! I mean that! treat yourself hun, you deserve it!