Somone coming into my house...

Errata

Alyth it seems to me that everything you're feeling now - did I encourage him etc are pretty common for any woman who has been violated in some way. You know, like - was I too friendly, was my skirt too short, did I send out the wrong message. In your shoes, and I have been in very similar ones, I would find a professional to talk things through with to make sure my head was on straight about it all, my thoughts and feelings were right for the situation, everything was in boxes with the right labels - I'm sure you know what I mean.
You can tough it out on your own, but you don't need to and why should you ?
Hope this helps. I think it's quite normal and useful to think about all the 'what if's' and if his wife screams at you scream right back 'calm down or I'm calling the police' or something similar, or get colleague(s) to sort her out.

Make-it-3

I hope the shock of having a police visit has brought this guy to his senses and you hear no more of it. You may even find he deliberately stays out of your way. The good thing is that you are now on high alert and if anything, even a small incident occurs please go to the police straight away. In the meantime how about a few simple cleansing rituals - a spring clean of your house, change some furniture around, go to the beauty salon, get the dog on a health kick to lose the extra pounds from the illegal doggy treats.

belfastgirl23

I also think you should tell people yourself about this. If you don't you run the risk of him lying (probably to his wife initially and for understandable reasons) and then you having to counter accuse. You're best seizing the initiative on this one. Also having people looking out for you is no harm, and keeping an eye as they pass your house.

Sorry for my first post, I didn't realise so much other stuff was going on as well...

Dormouse

alyth wrote: »

Thank you - I stayed in this village (and it is not Alyth which is a village in Perthshire, I chose the name because I like the singer ) when I split because I had a huge amount of support from everyone - my ex moved the pregnant girl he had been having an affair with into the house we had together and for months I had fantastic support from everyone and I suspect I will get the same now. It's just kind of a shame factor - for me anyway. I know that because he spent so much time up here people said we were having an affair, small villages aren't able to keep secrets. But it's the stupid things - what if his wife comes screaming into work at me? I am 100% sure that he has been in the house, as are the police, but there is no evidence in which to charge him - unless someone knows a way of making the dog speak!

Sorry, I had completely missed this - the creepy old guy has a wife??? :eek:

I had imagined him as a saddo loner, but if he's married, I'd imagine he won't want his wife to find out, or anyone else, so hopefully he'll back off now.

flossyblog

This reminds me of an incident that happened to a couple I know.
She was convinced the place was haunted. She also had a strange feeling that she was being watched. Then one day they heard a noise in the attic and he went to investigate. The neighbour had been watching and cracking one off and it wasn't the first time. There were used tissues all over the place.

They called the police who were sympathetic but said that it would be difficult to prove anything. I'm not sure what happened in the end.

alyth

Flossy I so wish I hadn't read that - last night I was convinced that he was hiding in attic!!!! I used to think this place was haunted, things like pictures being moved slightly, cup in the wrong place - it was obviously him all along.

It's the proving it that's the difficult part - I know and the police know that it was him, but there's no evidence to take him to court.

I'll wait and see whether he makes as appearance in this shop this weekend - hopefully not.

shelly

alyth wrote: »

It's the proving it that's the difficult part - I know and the police know that it was him, but there's no evidence to take him to court.

I'll wait and see whether he makes as appearance in this shop this weekend - hopefully not.

If he does make an appearance at the weekend make sure a colleague is close by and keeps an ear open because if he does speak to you and apologises or admits in anyway it was him you have a witness.

Errata

flossyblog wrote: »

This reminds me of an incident that happened to a couple I know.
She was convinced the place was haunted. She also had a strange feeling that she was being watched. Then one day they heard a noise in the attic and he went to investigate. The neighbour had been watching and cracking one off and it wasn't the first time. There were used tissues all over the place.

They called the police who were sympathetic but said that it would be difficult to prove anything. I'm not sure what happened in the end.

You sure about that ? When there was seriously good DNA evidence on a lot of the tissues ? When they knew which neighbour it was ? How did the neigbour get into their attic without them noticing ? I'm presuming it happened several times and it seems quite a bizarre story

Errata

alyth wrote: »

Flossy I so wish I hadn't read that - last night I was convinced that he was hiding in attic!!!! I used to think this place was haunted, things like pictures being moved slightly, cup in the wrong place - it was obviously him all along.

It's the proving it that's the difficult part - I know and the police know that it was him, but there's no evidence to take him to court.

I'll wait and see whether he makes as appearance in this shop this weekend - hopefully not.

Even with no firm evidence, don't underestimate the frighteners the police would have put on him. They're very good at very indirectly warning people off and conveying they know what they've been up to.

patchwork_cat

Alyth - you have changed the locks is there any other way he could get in? This is a semi-rhetorical question as the police presumably have already looked into this and I don't think you should be getting the heeby geebys over some case with conjoined loft spaces.

I think it is just the oh crikey - shivers - kicking in.