Somone coming into my house...

onlyroz

dandy-candy wrote: »

Just found this thread and although it is too late for the OP I just thought I would mention incase anyone is in this situation that my hub is a locksmith and he say's that if you are inside and worried lock the deadlock on your front door, then leave the key in the lock but half turned. This way no one can get in using a key from the outside or push your key out. Obviously it only works while you are at home but you will sleep better knowing no one can get it!

Well in my house you can't unlock the back door if there's a key in the lock on the inside - as I found out when someone who was staying with us left his key in the lock...

Anyway, alyth, glad you're safe.

curlygirl1971

Hi Alyth

Have been reading your thread and am glad to hear you are safe. I think your present state of mind is a perfectly normal and understandable reaction. Things will calm down and these feelings will pass....but in the short term I guess you are in for a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. You will probably feel additionally 'traumatised' when the police get back to you after they've spoken to him. But make no mistake - you have absolutely done the right thing even if this man is not the person who has been coming into your home. Just take one thing at a time and go easy on yourself. Make sure there are people around you that are looking out for you - and not just virtually!

Remember that you are much safer now than you were 24 hours ago.

Really admire your focus on your studies - keep up the good work and best of luck. Please continue to let us know how you get on

tandraig

Alyth - you are shaken because the police took you seriously and you now realise that you are at risk. before, you could convince yourself it was your imagination. now reality has set in. from what you said - and carefully didnt say - you should now have new safety measures. here we have a policeman who will come around and assess your home for security - do you have that there?
hun, take heed of what the policeman told you. may i PM you?

alyth

I suppose it is delayed reaction, it was when the policeman asked how I felt about someone going through my stuff that it hit me. This is my first house of my own and it's a horrible feeling knowing that someone has maybe been watching you and for sure coming in when I'm not here.

I'm waiting for the police to come back to me now, once they have spoken to him - cue more shakes I suppose.

I just lose myself in my studies, I absolutely must have done the ostrich thing, from talking to the policeman I realise that it has been going on for months, but never thought about it properly, I have a very sad life and spend all my time studying . When the policeman calls I will ask him about the home asssessment thing, never thought about that.

Tandraig do pm me if you like.

Can I also thank everyone for their support - I tried to thank individually but may have missed some people. Truly it means a lot to me, I doubt I will get much sleep tonight, more from being shaken up than anything, but the house will be like Fort Knox soon!!

pigpen

Well, in a rational sense this person has NEVER been in the house while you have been there.. so why would he start now?

He came in because he had a key.. he no longer has a key so can't come in.

My ex has been in the house a couple of times while I've not been here.. but not since OH moved in so I am less bothered about him having a key now.

I am sure all will turn out ok.. are the police visiting the married guy as well as the older guy?

esmf73

Alyth - Lots and lots of hugs coming your way. You're very brave. Hope that your Rottie will look after you.

Just a thought - don't let your Rottie pick up any food that is lying around unless you put it there. If someone wanted to get rid of a dog that trusted them to feed it, they may put down (or throw over the fence) poisoned meat. Please be careful as I know I'd hate to lose either of my two hairy, smelly, snoring hounds!

Give your Rottie a huge hug from me too xx

Errata

alyth wrote: »

I suppose it is delayed reaction, it was when the policeman asked how I felt about someone going through my stuff that it hit me. This is my first house of my own and it's a horrible feeling knowing that someone has maybe been watching you and for sure coming in when I'm not here.

I'm waiting for the police to come back to me now, once they have spoken to him - cue more shakes I suppose.

I just lose myself in my studies, I absolutely must have done the ostrich thing, from talking to the policeman I realise that it has been going on for months, but never thought about it properly, I have a very sad life and spend all my time studying . When the policeman calls I will ask him about the home asssessment thing, never thought about that.

Tandraig do pm me if you like.

Can I also thank everyone for their support - I tried to thank individually but may have missed some people. Truly it means a lot to me, I doubt I will get much sleep tonight, more from being shaken up than anything, but the house will be like Fort Knox soon!!

You could also talk to the policeman about some support from Victim Support; if the police are recording this as a crime VS will contact you automatically anyway to offer their support. They're great people for talking things through with - happenings and emotions.

Don't forget - whatever has happened and may happen about this -YOU ARE STILL YOU.

Best wishes. Chin up, chest out - you'll cope.

[Deleted User]

Oh my god, just read through your thread....such a horrible situation and you are so brave!

Well, the best thing is that you've acknowledged it, and are dealing with it! I'm not surprised that you are shaken up - this will pass in time.

Can a friend, a neighbour, or someone from college or work stay with you for a few days? ... might help you relax, will be someone to talk to and support you while you are shaken up, and will probably help you sleep better?

Make sure you've always got your mobile phone with you, and have a friend or family memeber you can call anytime on speed dial. And if in any doubt, call the police, I'm sure they told you the same thing, it's what they are there for.

Just from Google I've found these websites that may help you find ways to ensure you and your home are safe and secure:

http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/crime-victims/how-you-can-prevent-crime/secure-your-home/

http://www.reading.gov.uk/general.asp?id=sx9452-a77f7b82

http://thamesvalley.police.uk/crprev/crprev-home.htm

shelly

Hi alyth.

I have always been paranoid about home security and when here on my own I have the front door locked and bolted aswell as the back door always being locked and bolted. If I didn't have glass in my front door I'd have a chain too.
We also have an alarm. (and fantastic neighbours who come round and have a looksee if it goes off at all and we aren't here)

I find that having the combination of bolts and an alarm when alone at night make all the difference to me.....if I didn't have them, I'd stay at my parents when hubby is away overnight

Reading that back my post isn't much help but maybe the idea of getting bolts and/or an alarm might make you feel a little safer?

alyth

esmf73 wrote: »

Alyth - Lots and lots of hugs coming your way. You're very brave. Hope that your Rottie will look after you.

Just a thought - don't let your Rottie pick up any food that is lying around unless you put it there. If someone wanted to get rid of a dog that trusted them to feed it, they may put down (or throw over the fence) poisoned meat. Please be careful as I know I'd hate to lose either of my two hairy, smelly, snoring hounds!

Give your Rottie a huge hug from me too xx

ESMF, it as the dog that started this off - nothing has changed in our routine, she eats the same, but she had go to the vets to get her eyes checked last week and the vet said she'd put on weight - cue much thinking, how is the dog getting to eat so much..... and because she was sleeping so much, she's a lazy mutt at the best of times, but she was being exercised when I wasn't here!!! He's been feeding her - she snuffles about in the gravel outside sometimes eating stuff, obviously biscuit scraps that he's dropped. As I say the more I spoke to the policeman the more it all came together.

Unfortunately far from being a guard dog she fell asleep with her head on the policeman's boots...... :-)

Police are going to visit both guys, just easiest to visit the most suspect and closest of them I guess - still no call from them but I suppose they have to get back to the station before they can call, and I've no idea where that is.

I never thought about VS, it does make me wonder about staying out here on my own, I have no friends or family nearby, it's always just been me and the dog for the last while. It's all just a fright - I'm strong, I'm safe now, despite the hound snoring next to me, onwards and upwards towards my degree. I'm trying hard not to be scared again but it's hard.