Drinking

Michelin

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Well that's not what you said.

But OK, let's take you that you meant what you say now.

Putting a system wide generalisation on every alcoholic isn't wise, they are all very different. Some things are the same, but very different IYSWIM.

Not all lie, not all hide........ not all live on park benches

I've known many people with an alcohol problem , the only thing about them that is the same, is alcohol, everything else is completely different, their thought patterns, the way they handle it, the way they drink, their relationships with their family.

Then I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. From my experience - and I know that you also have experience - addicts lie. Other things may be entirely different I agree but they all lie to themselves and to others.

moorebobbie

Moorebobbie here. Thanks for asking, Bestgeorge, I'm OK. Busy with work stuff today. Slept badly last night, after the promise to "sort myself out and maybe go to an AA meeting" of Monday had clearly not led to any action or change in behaviour. And because she was clearly pickled when I got in last night (the empty bottle was in her underwear drawer). Having to converse with someone who misinterprets your intonation and your facial expressions through drink means that, frankly, you give up.

As ever, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt - but unless she acts positively soon, I am running out of the will to stay around.

Lotus-eater

Michelin wrote: »

Then I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one. From my experience - and I know that you also have experience - addicts lie. Other things may be entirely different I agree but they all lie to themselves and to others.

I'm not saying they don't lie, I'm saying that some don't.

Again, saying they all lie to themselves is so wrong. Many admit to themselves what is happening and go down knowing exactly what is going on.
And there is stages to the lie, before they admit there is a problem they lie to themselves, afterwards they don't, otherwise they wouldn't get better. And then some don't get better and start lying to themselves again,

Y'know it just is so confusing, but saying they are all the same and this or this is going to happen, is wrong.

Michelin

moorebobbie, I really hope that she sees sense soon and realises what she stands to lose; not just you but her health as well. Has she ever been to an AA meeting?

moorebobbie

Sure, she went to a few AA meetings early last year. I dragged her to one, which she tried to wriggle out of right up to the last minute. Then she got something out of it, went to 3 or 4 before declaring herself "not like them". At that stage, I don't think she was drinking so much vodka on a regular basis; she obviously found the intensity of admitting where she at, was too much.

Last year was my futile attempt at forcing her to change. I also got her some free counselling sessions via a local charity, too - which she said she found helpful at the time.

Incidentally, I have found AA's phone line very helpful; it's strange to speak to a reformed alcoholic, who assures you that you have done all you could for your partner.