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shall we have a wedding chat thread?

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Comments

  • was thinking about not having one...
  • bubbles0169
    bubbles0169 Posts: 6,230 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    our rectangular top table might be
    matron of honour,our youngest son,grooms father,my mum ,groom,me,my grandad, grooms mum, our eldest son, best man
    I am not bossy I just have better ideas:p
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    was thinking about not having one...

    We've only got OH's parents (mine are both dead and my two sons are giving me away & giving the "father of bride" speech between them) so it makes the day more special for them to be on our top table. Wouldn't dream of leaving them off....
  • RainbowDrops
    RainbowDrops Posts: 4,674 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I aggree that it's nice to have the family on the top table, sometimes traditions are a good thing.
    We'll most likely have both sets of parents, best man & chief bridesmaid (who will be my sis, and pos her hubby) and the OHs brother. :)
  • my_definition
    my_definition Posts: 857 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 12 April 2010 at 11:11AM
    the problem with having a top table is that my parents havent met oh's parents (and have no desire to and wont be meeting till the wedding) and im quite sure theyre not going to get on. were sure ohs mum blames my mum for us moving out and wont approve of us getting married. Im not sure i want to spend my day sitting 1 apart from a woman who makes me feel awful and tense when i know she will just moan about it.

    plus i have 3 grandparents 2 parents and a sibling (bridesmaid) oh will only have mum and best man possibly 2 grandparents but they live in spain and hes not sure about inviting them or if they can afford flights - so i dont think he wants to be sitting next to them either.

    why do weddings bring out the worst in people?
  • RainbowDrops
    RainbowDrops Posts: 4,674 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    the problem with having a top table is that my parents havent met oh's parents (and have no desire to and wont be meeting till the wedding) and im quite sure theyre not going to get on. were sure ohs mum blames my mum for us moving out and wont approve of us getting married. Im not sure i want to spend my day sitting 1 apart from a woman who makes me feel awful and tense when i know she will just moan about it.

    I'd say the thing to do in that case is to have no parents on the top table. I realise that may seem unfair on your parents, but it would make it far more diplomatic. Having one set will just make even more tension between the two sides.

    I went to a wedding with a similar situation, and the bride & groom decided it was easier to sepparate the parents, and have all of their friends on the top table instead.

    So, even though I said before I like the traditional set up, it all depends on personal decisions.
  • bubbles0169
    bubbles0169 Posts: 6,230 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    you know how i always say its your wedding you do what you want'? weeeell why cant i heed it!!
    when we got engaged 9 years ago my little sister got soo excited asking to be bridesmaid so of course i said yes!
    fast forward 9 years and i kept to my word saying shes bridesmiad as OH's sis is going to be one(who warrants it as i want her to be one!)
    now because of this ive had to have my two other sisters too which i wouldnt mind if we were close but were not
    we havent fallen out either but if they werent my sisters they wouldnt be bridesmaid!
    now ive asked them all i cant retract it but it keeps knawing at me!
    the other day i saw the 'excited' now 16 year old one and she said 'im having a joint birthday party with x'
    turns to x and says 'oh i forgot to invite bubbles her OH and son, we'll have to re-do the guest list'
    at the time i didnt say anything as we were in the street but the more i think of it the more i feel like saying 'charming'!!
    am i justified in this feeling? is she just so young as to not realise?
    oh blah!!
    I am not bossy I just have better ideas:p
  • angel223_2
    angel223_2 Posts: 200 Forumite
    edited 12 April 2010 at 11:36AM
    so sorry to hear the wedding is off screamer. take care!! ((hugs))

    going back to what parents are helping with etc were paying for everything except my dress which my parents said they will pay for and OH mum and step dad are giving us £250, but to be honest OH isnt happy (not about the ammount) as his mum got us to agree that her friend and her friends hubby could come (supposed to be family only and I dont like her friend at all as she is really !!!!!y and she doesnt get on with my mum) then after we gave in (I gave in for OH really so his mum would come) they said they couldnt come to the wedding as its to expensive and to far away then 2 weeks later booked a long haul holiday with said friends. OH says he doesnt care but deep down I know he does. she just has no interest at all!!
  • RainbowDrops
    RainbowDrops Posts: 4,674 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    the other day i saw the 'excited' now 16 year old one and she said 'im having a joint birthday party with x'
    turns to x and says 'oh i forgot to invite bubbles her OH and son, we'll have to re-do the guest list'
    at the time i didnt say anything as we were in the street but the more i think of it the more i feel like saying 'charming'!!
    am i justified in this feeling? is she just so young as to not realise?
    oh blah!!

    She might have just forgotten, or had only just made the plans for the party.
    I remember being a scatterbrain at that age too.

    As for the other sisters, I think seeing as you've now asked them to be your bridesmaids, it's unfair to retract, especially as you haven't fallen out as such. If it's causing you cost issues though, you could try explaining that to them as a reason?
  • Gemmzie
    Gemmzie Posts: 14,876 Forumite
    Weddings definitely are a time for family issues to crop up!

    I think we aren't going to have parents on the top table, as it will be too many. So we are thinking just wedding party, 8 of us. Then parents, grandparents, 12 and then siblings and their dates, 10. Thats everyone for the day so far!
    No longer using this account for new posts from 2013
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