Different ethnicities and kids birthday parties

xs11ax

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Ahh, tell us when it is and we'll all wish you happy birthday on the day.

im not telling. im in denial :mad:

Lotus-eater wrote: »

What I don't understand though, is if say I went to live in another country, I would pick up the little social things that went on, .

but there are many many english people living in foreign countries. from the ones that i have met, they dont tend to pick up on the local customs and festivals. thats just the way it is.

pingua

Well put lotus - hard to put these things into words at times without getting 'attacked' probably get attacked for saying that - lol.

JBD

OP, personally I would just leave it. You invited these children and they [or their parents] declined to come.Thats all there is to it really. I always found with my kids parties that we wouldn't have 100% attendance and we often didn't have RSVP's but I didn't see any point in making an issue out of it. As far as the cultural/religious aspect goes, well, you can't force people to interact if thats not what they want.

patchwork_cat

My DD has been to parties and had parties where both Muslim and Sikh children attend. At parties we always make sure that there are vegetarian options and parents will say if their child has a particular need - for example onle little boy would vomit if he ate either fish fingers or bananas! Mum told us and he avoided them and ate other things.

You will find that parties can be a minefield and there are some really ignorant people who don't reply.

usedandabused

xs11ax wrote: »

hi all

im a asian muslim. i have grown up in both english and asian areas and had friends from both ethnicities and took part in the particular customs of both.

for asians birthday parties are not really that big a deal. it is not a widely practiced custom in the indo/pak. whatever little custom of birthday parties there is in the indo/pak has trickled down from the west.

at the most, on a childs birthday the immediate family may wish him a happy birthday and them a toy or give a bit of money. as for the adults there is almost no birthday celebration for them at all.

today in the UK some ethnic asians celebrate birtdays but they are in a very small minority and it is almost always a small family affair.

dont be offended that you did not get a reply. like i said, asians do not see it as a big deal.

my birthday is coming up soon and chances are that if i am busy i may not even realise that its my birthday.

don't lump the muslims and the hindus together, or even pakistani/indians together, big cultural differences aswell as religious differences.

most indians i know celebrate birthdays and generally integrate well in britain, where i was raised the only asians were indians, i always rember how clever and well behaved they were as opposed to me, an animal lol

slightlyconfused1

Hi
When I sent invitations out for ds last party they had the tear off slip at the bottom and our phone number. I was a bit upset when I had only received about half of the replies with about a week to go (we had to confirm numbers in advance). It was only when my ds heard us discussing it that he "mentioned" that a number of children had given him the replies but he had lost them. I had a very difficult morning trying to find out exactly which boys had given replies.

It may be that the childen themselves are not passing on a reply, especially if they are not allowed to go to a party for whatever reason.

I have also had the situation where a child turns up at a party with a brother or sister. I now take a few extra party bags just in case!

snugglepet20

My neighbour is a Pakistani Muslim and she told me that she was never allowed to go to birthday parties or friends houses or have any white friends to her house as a child because her mother believed it would corrupt her. As a result she was miserable and lonely and according to her this situation is not uncommon even today.

Some Muslims do not want their children to play with others even because of the way that they dress, my neighbours mother called her 10 year old daughter a s*** for wearing a t-shirt that showed her arms :eek: and whenever my neighbour goes into town wearing western clothes other asians give her evil looks and make comments. However much the children want to integrate sometimes they are faced with such prejudice from other members of the family and community it is nearly impossible for them. My neighbour does let her daughter go to birthday parties and have white friends but it is secret from Granny!

woody01

We live in an affluent, mainly white area in the SE

If you had that kind of invite vs child ratio then you clearly dont

warehouse

woody01 wrote: »

If you had that kind of invite vs child ratio then you clearly dont

"Mainly" would be 51% to 49% and downwards, so they clearly do. Are you bored or just stupid?


As for the OP, we used to live in a massively aisan populated area in Harrow, and my daughter hardly ever go invites to other asian kids parties, because they never had any. When she had a party though it was always a full turn out, perhaps because the school was so small that all the mothers knew each other?

jenhug

my understanding (from my British muslim brother in law) is that birthdays are not celebrated as it is considered a year closer to death???!!!