Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

awehla

I normally just say I'm not interested or that I'm registered with the TPS so they shouldn't be calling. But some of your suggestions on here are amazingly creative, hilarious and somewhat sadistic, love it!

jools0001

As soon as I realise it's a marketing call, I interrupt and say "I'm not interested, thank you", firmly but politely. That has about 99% success rate at ending the call without wasting more time, I can only think of one time where the caller carried on trying to engage me in conversation. (That time I repeated myself, then said "I'm going to put the phone down now, goodbye".)

I know a lot of people don't like to cut someone off while they're speaking, but if you feel rude, think about the fact that the person calling you is probably desperate for cash otherwise they wouldn't do such a demeaning job. Their only opportunity to make good money is on commission by selling something, booking an appointment for a survey/quotation, etc. By telling them at the first opportunity that you aren't buying whatever it is, you're actually doing them a favour and allowing them to move on to the next call which might just be successful.

(That last bit was told to me by someone who did part-time telemarketing for a few months when she was desperate for cash.)

Meanwhile, if anyone can tell me how to get Sky Broadband to stop "silent calling" me I'll be very grateful.

JimmyTheWig

In some ways I miss getting these calls now we've been on TPS for years. I used to have great fun with them.

My favourite was answering the phone and confirming who I was then being silent for as long as possible. Was incredible how long they'd keep talking for without a response. When they finally stopped talking I'd say "I'm sorry I wasn't listening" and they'd repeat it all. Of course, my response when they finished was "I'm sorry I wasn't listening again". This could go on for some time.

Only get these calls from companies I deal with, now. I sometimes play along with banks when they tell me they're phoning with an exclusive offer as I'm such a good customer. When I find the same deal on their website I'll ask them what's exclusive about the offer. Was once told that the exclusive bit was that I was being called about it!

I like getting answers to the question "and if I look up the best buy tables I'll see you at the top, presumably?" Get all sorts of reasons why the best buys shown aren't as good as their offer.
Though the guy from npower yesterday said "yes, all our deals are available online" and was happy with me saying I'd look it up later!


I totally appreciate the dilemma that this is just people doing their job. I know it's not the best job in the world and I do feel sorry for them. When we were students in Sheffield in the 90s lots of friends got jobs with a certain marketting firm. Working conditions were so harsh. You didn't get paid anything unless you stayed there a month (iirc) and loads of people dropped out after a couple of weeks.
I find it even more annoying when it's an Indian call centre (other than ICICI, which I don't mind about!) as it's classed as a well-paid job out there as you need good English speaking skills. It's just so gutting that these people could be doing something really worthwhile to help themselves and their communities but they're being paid a pittance (in our terms) to hassle me on the phone.
My rule of thumb is to never be rude, but I think playing them along with silly games is fair enough.

Supportspice

This has really cheered my up -thanks to all! I am registered with the TPS but still I always try to maintain my manners in the face of frustration. Working for myself from home, I have to answer the phone and always do so in the same manner, so the majority of my cold calls go as follows:

me - Mrs Supportspice speaking
cc - Hello can I speak to Mrs Supportspice please

IMO to me this is a pointless conversation. I said three words and they didnt listen to any of them. I thank them for their call, tell them I am not interested say goodbye and hang up.

Incidentally the last cold call I had was a recorded message from Davina McCall, I dont know what about...

My best tip for persistent or long winded callers though has to be a cordless phone, walk to the front door, open it, press the doorbell and then say sorry I have to get the door. I have also been known to play the jingle on my mobile so I can say, sorry I really need to take this call...

Cookiepops

I'd be interested to know how to handle calls that aren't actually selling anything. I've had quite a few calls recently and Im with TPS - when I let them know that, they say that its only valid for sales calls and quite often the calls I am getting are for surveys.

eco

I answer the phone say hello, then put the phone down on the table let them talk after a minute you usually here, hello hello are you there, then they go, strange cos I thought they loved talking to themselves.

planetzog

Rule number 1, 2 & 3, don't lose your cool. It's not worth it. See it as an opportunity to have some fun. For example, when they say their name, I pretend I know them from school. Or, tell them you're completely naked under your clothes. Another source of fun is to tell them that they've caught you in the bathroom but you're happy to continue if they are. Start making farting noises of increasing intensity and frequency. I also have a voice converter which makes alien robot sounds. Tell them that you don't live here and have to return to planet Zog. Sometimes I say "What are you selling?" They always say "Nothing." I reply with, "That's a shame, I'm looking to buy something, anything, today. Goodbye." I'm sure you can make up your own. Have fun!

carajp

Just recently I started getting calls from a company (foreign call though) asking me if they could talk to me for a few minutes about "something that will soon affect your gas and electricity bills".

At first I was polite. No thank you, not interested. Then I got another call. "Please take me off your list". Then another. Then another. It was driving me crazy. I was getting 3 or 4 calls a day for about 5 days. I did at one stage ask which company they were calling on behalf of, and was told it was nPower. Iwas polite. I got rude. I begged them for help to stop calling me. I tried everything and was wondering what on earth I should do next.

Eventually I decided I needed to listen to the spiel, get full details of the company name and all the rest of it so I had ammunition to report them (to OFCOM??).

So the phone rang....

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes about something that may affect your gas and electricity bills in the next few month?"

"Yes, you can"

"First of all, can I ask you which energy supplier you are with?"

"Eon"

"Oh, that's ok then. Eon customers aren't affected. Thank you for your time. Goodbye"

And I've never had a call since. Ten seconds was all it took. D'oh...

Caroline

Delphinum

I have had so many of them who harass me that now I'm very snippy when they ring. One guy started trying to phone sex me and ask me all about myself. I eventually passed the phone to my husband who said "Look, my wife has been trying to be very polite to you by not hanging up and telling you she isn't interested and you're not taking the hint. She has said she doesn't want to talk to you so f*** off!" then slammed the phone down. I guess examples like that are why people are rude to call centre staff. It really upsets me when they get like that.
Another tried to tell me the TPS was a load of rubbish and it wasn't illegal to call and I had no right to tell them not to call me. Then launched into his spiel!!!

When I was 9, my mum and dad split up and she moved out. So as a teenager when sales people called to ask for Mrs Smith, I said "She's not here, she moved out to live with her boyfriend when I was 9 and I haven't seen her since." That tended to shut them up.

starsailor123uk

mulli8au wrote: »

say nothing --- and just listen . It drives them crazy. and then they hang up. No more calls from them

That's the best as well as saing one moment I'm got to answer the door and then leave the phone off the hook on speakerphone and listen to

Hello......

Anyone there.....

Hello.