Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

suited-aces

Primrose wrote: »

There's a hilarious e-mail/web link doing the rounds about an American called Mr. McCabe who's being interrogated as a suspect in a potential murder enquiry in a spoof telephone selling incident. If anybody has received it, perhaps they would post it here. It's a real winner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Deu8-tYXbeA

Crazyfox69

For a sales call:-
When they start I say "Sorry do you mind if I ask you a quick question?"
The usual response is a confused "OK"
I then say "When you want to buy a loaf of bread do you wait at home for someone to phone up and offer to sell you one or do you go to the shop to buy one?"
If they have a brain they usually laugh at this point, but if they say that they buy one from a shop, I then say "Yeah it's funny that, cos that's just what I do when I want to buy something too", and hang up.
Well it tickles me anyway.

gobbo

One way to get rid of them is when they call say " I'm glad you called , before you tell me about your survey/product , let me explain to you how you can become a Jehovas Witness and let me tell you all about religion , it should only take about 30 minutes - works every time

Mrs_Rochester

I have found that the best retort to these dicks is to say - "i am really sorry i am so busy, if you leave me your house telephone number or your mobile number i will call you back when i am ready....." that shuts them up, and, if all else fails, i give the phone to the dog who hates the phone just about as much as she hates junk mail.............. i once had a cold caller ring me back cos i put the phone down on them, he did this three times.........he won't do that again, passed his number to my police officer friend...and they rang back

glossyhair

ifan.goch wrote: »

My daughter used to love answering the phone when she was a child, so we told her that we didn't want to speak to anyone who didn't know our names or couldn't pronounce them correctly. Some of her replies were very inventive:

To one poor caller all she would say was "the white dog howls at midnight" in her best spy voice.

That made me laugh out loud!! I can hardly wait for the next call so I can try it out :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

wanabee_bailey

I've often thought about the TPS, but just once in a while, the call turns out to be one you're glad you received. Example.

Got a call from NPower. Because I run a business from home, I can have a commercial business tarrif rather than a domestic one. And in 12 months, my domestic gas and electric charges were down from £2000 to £1200! I would never have found out about this any other way.

You still get the 5% VAT rate, not 17.5%. You do have to sign up for 12 months and as soon as you receive the contract renewal notice, be ready to cancel the contract quickly.

That is the exception though. I've started using this to get rid oif the unwanted calls.

"Are you truly happy? Is there room for God in your life?"

They hang up very quickly. You've not been rude. They are only trying to make a living, like the rest of us.

Dr.Shoe_2

It depends on what it is they're selling. If it's a survey I counter every question with "what did everyone else say" whatever they say is what I reply with. So if they say 'I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to say," I repeat that back to them as if I'm reading it off a script and it's what they want to hear.

If they're trying to sign me up to something I let them do all the spiel then tell them I don't do direct debits. If they're trying to sell me something I say "yes, I'll have one, where can I get it?" they then say that they'll send it to me so then I say '...and I pay the delivery driver?' They say "no, you need to pay by debit card." I feign gross disappointment and accuse them of discrimination because I don't have one.

Debt collectors used to be the best because they'd phone up and ask me for my personal details. I say to them that I don't give personal details over the phone to people who call me up out of the blue. They say "well I can't talk to you then!" as if I'm supposed to be bothered by it. I reply "well the call was a waste of time then wasn't it? bye!"

I had one cheeky !!!!!! who asked for someone by name and when I said I hadn't heard of him (silly mistake) he then said: "oh, I must have the wrong number, it doesn't matter though, you might be interested in our special offer..." I said "I don't want to steal someone else's opportunity, goodbye."

Lexymoon

When callers try and sell me new phone systems at work I reply ... 'sorry we don't have a phone here!' Confuses the life out of them! Other option is to say 'hold on. I'll just get someone that can help' then just leave them on hold! Mean but amusing!

glossyhair

Whilst I am sitting here reading all of these, I just had a cold call on my mobile from 01 Mobiles!! As soon as the poor chap said, "Hello, I'm from 01 Mobiles" I said, "thank you but I am not interested" Then he said " but you don't know what I am offering" so I went back with ' I said NO. I have a mobile handset that I like, on a sub £10 tariff with more free minutes and texts than I can ever use on very flexible contract so there is nothing you could say that would be of interest. Please take me off your database and have a great day. Goodbye" and hung up! No call back yet!!! I didn't think I could do "the white dog howls at midnight" without having hysterics so I'll be saving that for the next time.

SunnySusie

I only seem to get the automated ones - and they are always for the last owner of my new phone number. Grrrrrr! Thanks for the reminder to register with TPS - I've not done this new number.

Orlaith85 wrote: »

Why does everyone get so annoyed at getting calls?

Because phone calls interrupt us. Phone calls are pretty intrusive in general really, the phone ring is like someone demanding our attention with no preconsideration to whether it is a convenient time.

No one likes being dragged away from the shower, a telly program, some work, cooking etc to hear a recorded message for the 10th time. Sometimes I screen calls but then it's a real pain if I then miss a real call.

Not rocket science really !