Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

MrMuttley

Mostly from me it's a "Not interested, bye" or "I'm a renter" if it's home improvements.

A couple of times however I've recieved calls when I've had time for a bit of fun and I play along for a bit if it's a financial services and then say "So let me get this straight. I'm sat at home at 7.30pm on a Friday evening watching a film and I have a beer on the table next to me and you want to offer me advice?"

:rotfl:

jh2009

1. I once had a foreign guy saying

"hello"

I paused

"hello"

I then sang in my best lionel richie voice "is it me you're looking for" and went quiet

The guy hung on the phone but sounded totally confused!

2. I once got invited to do a quiz to win a holiday.

a) in which country is the algarve, portugal or scotland

Scotland

b) In which country is the costa del sol, spain or greenland?

Greenland

After a few more easy questions, i got deliberately wrong but answered in a serious way (as if there was a big prize to win). The guy lost patience and said "This is a serious competition with a serious prize and you are an idiot and are disqualified" and hung up on me!

minerva_windsong

cpicking wrote: »

Just recently I started getting calls from a company (foreign call though) asking me if they could talk to me for a few minutes about "something that will soon affect your gas and electricity bills".

At first I was polite. No thank you, not interested. Then I got another call. "Please take me off your list". Then another. Then another. It was driving me crazy. I was getting 3 or 4 calls a day for about 5 days. I did at one stage ask which company they were calling on behalf of, and was told it was nPower. Iwas polite. I got rude. I begged them for help to stop calling me. I tried everything and was wondering what on earth I should do next.

Eventually I decided I needed to listen to the spiel, get full details of the company name and all the rest of it so I had ammunition to report them (to OFCOM??).

So the phone rang....

"Can I talk to you for a few minutes about something that may affect your gas and electricity bills in the next few month?"

"Yes, you can"

"First of all, can I ask you which energy supplier you are with?"

"Eon"

"Oh, that's ok then. Eon customers aren't affected. Thank you for your time. Goodbye"

And I've never had a call since. Ten seconds was all it took. D'oh...

Caroline

That happened to me not that long ago - I kept getting calls from a certain number on my mobile and, in a pique of curiosity as I don't normally answer calls from people I don't know, picked up. The conversation went like this:

Caller: "Hi, I'd like to talk to you about your contract with Vodafone."
Me: "Sorry, I'm not with Vodafone and I never have been."
Caller: "Oh. OK. Er... bye then!" *click*

That was two weeks ago and they haven't called back.

jh2009

I've also done these jobs before as a student many years ago.

It was an appalling experience, and not much fun being ordered to ring someone id rung 5 times already! It never really bothered me but upset some. To get round targets id ring up people/businesses who only had voicemails and let them play out in full to keep my time up on the computer programmes that showed how long id been on the phone.

I was told that you must keep the person talking for one minute....................... as if you kept them on the phone you were many times more likely to make a sale/complete a survey/etc. Hence why sometimes you get questions to get you talking like asking you how your days been to get you talking, before going into the real reason for the call.

blue_monkey_2

If someone comes to the door trying to sell something I always say:

'Sorry, my husband does not give me any money for stuff like this so you'll have to come back when he is here'.

Do not see them again. LOL.

My husband was not impressed when I told him this last week. LOL at that too.

britboi

When I receive unwanted sales calls, all I do is tell them I am a bankrupt and therefore unable to enter into any credit or similar contractual agreements. They soon hang up then!

Claw_back_money

Some of these are great!:rotfl:
Shortly after moving into our (newly built) house I had a call from a woman trying to sell us a new kitchen. I tried to tell her we were not interested and that I'd just finished a waking night and she got really rude; saying "it doesn't cost you anything to listen to a lady". I was so shocked I let her complete her spiel about the kitchen which took about 4 minutes - and then when she asked me how old my kitchen was I said "6 months; its a brand new house" - and the phone went dead!!!

cbm

pcobbold

I have been called by a company from Outside UK, I think based outside Europe. I said when they called that I was registered with TPS, but they said that it did not apply to them. Has anybody else had this. and if so what can be done.

Heinz

pcobbold wrote: »

I have been called by a company from Outside UK, I think based outside Europe. I said when they called that I was registered with TPS, but they said that it did not apply to them. Has anybody else had this. and if so what can be done.

Standard reply from overseas call centres (it's one of the reasons so many call centres are now overseas).

No, there's nothing that can be done.

Personally, I'd like BT to be forced to provide CLI details of all incoming calls (rather than them stripping out that information and substituting 'International'). That'd enable me to ignore numbers I don't recognise, like I do now for UK calls.

MrsBartolozzi

There was a really funny thread on just this topic a few years ago, and it seems to have disappeared. I remember one of the posts was so funny - something about telling the coldcaller they were shaving their monkey, but no amount of searching can find it
I did find these though, there's some giggles on the debitas thread, which could be used for cold callers.


http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=183583&page=3
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=741653&highlight=debitas