Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

lynneinjapan

If the caller doesn't have an Indian accent (which is unusual) the I just tell them that I'm registered with the TPS and they are breaking the law by calling me. Then I hang up, but they often apologise first then hang up themselves.

Most of the unsolicited callers ask for Mrs D~, which immediately sets alarm bells ringing, since D~ was my maiden name and was never used with Mrs; I got married 4.5 years ago and took my husband's name. I usually say something to the effect of "no, there's no such person at this address", possibly have a little rant about being TPS-registered (for all the good it does with overseas callers), and hang up.

This morning I got a call from someone with an Indian accent called Jenny who asked for Mrs D~ (who I said didn't exist) and then claimed that my computer had a virus which, presumably, her company was going to help me fix for a very reasonable fee. I pointed out that she couldn't possibly know anything about my computer if she didn't even know who I was!:think: Then I hung up.

scottyb46

We have unwittingly created a great little riposte to the cold caller conundrum. It's a two year old little human boy person. He smashing, because not only does he give us unbridled joy, but he's also got quite good vocubulary and comprehension for his age. And that's why he's so good - "for his age" is the really important bit. He loves to answer the phone, but not to speak very much to callers, just to listen and relay the callers words to mummy and daddy. He's very polite, say hello nicely, then he listens and listens and listens. Then when the correct question is asked (which is can I speak to your mummy or daddy) he replies "you did not say please, you are very rude", caller says "please can I speak to your mummy or daddy" he says "not really" in a sort of apologetic way. He really is not for giving up the handset when it is in his possession - he is only 2 remember. If the caller doesn't think to ask to speak to mummy or daddy (for example they just ask if mummy or daddy are there), we get asked by the tiny person "Are you there mummy or daddy"? he says, everso politely. It can be very frustrating for friends, who tend to have given up and just text asking us to call these days unless it's after bedtime.

Seriously, get a 2 year old little person - they can deal with these calls all day. They do need quite a lot of attention though, so if all you need one for is dealing with cold calls, then I am sure there are alternatives. None of 'em as much fun though.

alran

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I let them begin and quickly say "that's nice, does it matter if I am unemployed and live in a council house?" It would seen the answer to that is usually yes!!!!!

Heinz

alran wrote: »

I let them begin and quickly say "that's nice, does it matter if I am unemployed and live in a council house?" It would seen the answer to that is usually yes!!!!!

Start with, "I was made bankrupt last week" and you've cracked it.

millymollyk

These are funny!!

I just say hold the line and pass the phone to my 18 month old who loves chatting on the phone!!

ani_ka0

A friend tells me that answering the phone

" Hello (enter name of fast food chain here) "

Usually does the trick.

I find that telling them I will be taking them to court for invasion of privacy usually stops the calls.

Loving all the tips by the way, what an interesting thread!

miller

SunnySusie wrote: »

Because phone calls interrupt us. Phone calls are pretty intrusive in general really, the phone ring is like someone demanding our attention with no preconsideration to whether it is a convenient time.

The interruption is less controllable with a landline too. Hence, I went for the ultimate TPS registration and had it disconnected.

Anything on my mobile with private number or a number I don't recognise gets ignored/silenced

Unfortunately some people need a landline for internet access and/or don't want Virgin Media.

Isabelle

I usually say that I rent the house and that's enough. However, I don't agree with being rude to them as they are only tryng to earn a living, My 19 year old son spent some time doing telesales, he hated it but needed the money. I wouldn't dream of swearing at these people, no matter how annoying they are!
Isabelle

bullshot

I say I'm the cleaner and hubby says he's the painter and decorator..they always hang up pdq...

digitig

andrewjf wrote: »

Additionally, inform them that they are breaking the law by calling you as a registered TPS member. Demand the company's contact details and tell them you are going to report them to OFCOM, and they should expect a hefty fine. I find this normally stops them dead in their tracks. Have to say though, I rarely receive cold calls now I'm TPS registered. It's very effective.

That used to work for me, but I find that it no longer does. Now I get lots of cold calls from abroad, and I understand that they're not covered by the TPS legislation and there's no comeback. I've also had a cold caller (for a major double-glazing company) become abusive and threatening towards me and my family when I mentioned the TPS, which I reported in writing to the police, my telecom provider and the registered office of the company. To be fair, they'd been pestering me a lot up to that point, and I've not heard from them since, so that seemed to work!