Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

Savethekipper

I tell them either:

A) Mum isn't in, she has left me at home alone
I have recently been declared bankrupt
C) Pretend not to speak English

RuthnJasper

For the best cold-call/telemarketer rebuke EVER, go to Youtube and search for "Tom Mabe" and take a look at the clip called "The Murder Scene Call on the Bob and Tom Show" - currently the third one that comes up in the results. It's absolutely fantastic.

Nessynoo

I speak a bit of GCSE German.

Emmsy

Tell them they've rung a company, they don't ring back then! I've found this out by accident as I actually had a few cold calls on my office number.

JEMB_2

Reply with:

'Sorry I can't talk right now but if you give me your home number I'll call you later...'

(They say: 'I don't give out my home number' or 'I don't take calls at home')

Reply with:

'Neither do I. Goodbye.'

laurel7172

When my son was about four, he got to the phone first. But the answering machine had already kicked in, taping and broadcasting the entire conversation, which went something like this:

Hello, can I speak to mummy?

Are you selling something? Mummy doesn't talk to people who are selling something.

I think mummy should decide if she wants to talk to me. Fetch her for me.

Are you selling something?

I thionk your mummy might be quite cross if you don't let her speak to me.

But are you selling something? Mummy never talks to people who are selling something.

I'll ring another day, shall I?

Bye!

However, the salesman hadn't hung up his phone when he turned to his colleagues to vent his frustration about a "precocious little brat". And the answering machine was still running.

Oh, yes. That's MY brat!

I suppose I could/should have complained, but it was enough to see him outwitted by a prechooler.

addyann

if they are trying to offer a "cheaper service" and won't take no for an answer tell them you're rich enough not to have to worry about saving money. works every time - none of the sales calls still not worked out an answer. (Obviously as this is on money saving expert - only do this if you dont want or believe the service is for you!!!)

Tell them they need your mum/dad and then just leave the phone off the hook

If they ring you in work - start trying to sell the caller the product or service you provide. My husband works for a timber company, so part way through the call he will ask what wood products the caller needs. The caller will normally ask why. He tells them that's what he sells, so thought they may be interested. the caller then gets a bit confused, saying something like, "I'm in work - I cant talk to you about personal purchases" To which my husband replies - guess, what, same here" then pauses. they always hang up.

Great one I found by mistake. "Just a courtesy call to check your Sky box is working ok". Silly me, thought it was a real courtesy call - and was very pleased, as the box had been playing up and explained this . The caller then said - "thanks just wanted to check "and hung up! It was only after a few moments I realised he actually wanted to sell me insurance cover!!

JimmyTheWig

digitig wrote: »

And the mugger mugging a granny probably doesn't want to be mugging a granny either, but has to find some money.

That's a bit harsh to compare the two...

MothballsWallet

brandedcentaur wrote: »

Either say "No thank you, sorry" or buy a trueCall.

Why should we have to pay 50-60 quid for a box to deal with this menace??!! This is just another case of the makers of trueCall joining the queue of phone companies and HM Government raking it in from unwanted calls, and having regulators and preference services who are useless. The EU is in favour of opt-in marketing, and wants all member states to use this scheme, but UK Gov loves opt-out and refuses to change because of the money it brings in.

brandedcentaur wrote: »

There is no need to be rude or waste their time. Those people are paid commission and you are just breaking their will to work at all.

Yeah, but if they call you many times a day, it's okay to be rude at them or waste their time - the managers will never step in and take the flak from us mere mortals who they're ordering the callers to harass.

darrow_2

If it's a woman, I say "Instead of bothering me, why don't you get yourself a more respectable job ... like walking the streets."

If you get the "You have just won a holiday" type of call say: "Oh I'm so glad you called. I've lost my job, my wife has left me and I'm flat broke. This is just what I needed to cheer me up."