Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

Hezzawithkids

I used to work in telecoms and for a number of years there were companies set up who would dial mobiles at random and offer an upgrade. Mobile operators are allocated a range of prefix's so the companies would assume from the mobile prefix that the user was with that network. Yes some people do migrate around but in 90% of cases they would be right, so they could start the conversation off sounding knowledgable about the user, e.g. "I see you are with XXX, if you upgrade to YYY I can get you a better deal" etc etc.

Because I worked for a network operator my mobile was supplied by and paid for by the company, i.e I never saw a bill (those were the days!). So if I got one of these cold calls I used to have a lot of fun:

Caller: I see you are with XXX, if you upgrade to YYY I can get you a better deal Me: Can you tell me where you got my number from please?
Caller: You are on a marketing list
Me: Where did you get the marketing list from?
Caller: You are on a database of XXX's customers
Me: But I'm not a customer of XXX
Caller: Errrr....
Me: I actually work for XXX; my mobile is supplied and paid for by them; it is impossible for my number to be published anywhere. Now, I'm going to ask you one more time, where did you get my number from?
Caller: Errr... if you want to be taken off the list...err...errr

They usually hung up at this point. I knew as well as they did that they were dialling my phone at random. but somehow I always enjoyed these conversations! It brightened up what could be a very dull day.

I dont get these calls any more, I think the practice was outlawed.... shame

B_Friman

When telemarketers start using awful English in a clumsy attempt to be super-friendly and polite, for example "I can offer yourself a no-risk trial...", I start my diatribe:

Me: Could we possibly conduct this conversation in standard English?

Him: Er sorry?

Me: Hearing a reflexive pronoun where an object pronoun is expected tends to divert my attention from your message. That's assuming that there is some message. It's rather like hearing a greengrocer at the market shouting in Shakespearean English, in that I would be so astonished by the delivery that I would lose track of whether it is the melons or the cabbages which are three for a pound.

Him: No. You've lost me there.

Me: Well, if you were to tell me that you wish to kill yourself. That would be fine. Partly because, under the circumstances, it's a perfectly reasonable sentiment but also because the use the reflexive pronoun is correct in that the person doing the killing is the same as the person being killed. If, on the other hand you told me that you wish to cover myself in big slobbery kisses, that would be totally wrong. I DON'T WANT YOUR BIG SLOBBERY KISSES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

marthamonkey

This is the only way to get rid of them....a previous poster mentioned this as well. It's hilarious. Make sure you listen to it all.

howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com

Lugh_Chronain

jools0001 wrote: »

Meanwhile, if anyone can tell me how to get Sky Broadband to stop "silent calling" me I'll be very grateful.

Register with SilentCallGard. This was kindly given to me by a BT operative when enquiring with BT about silent calls some time ago.

If you have any difficulty registering here, you can register by calling 0800 083 1113.

For companies wishing to use the database to reduce silent calls - www.ukdatait.co.uk

Your registration is for 12 months; if you wish to stay on the list simply re-register at the end of the 12 months. You might want to set yourself a reminder or make a note of this in your diary, etc.

http://www.ukdatait.co.uk/cgi-bin/sgAddNumber.cgi

LindaJane47

infuriating aren't they?? we've been on the TPS for years and we still get them - probably because I'm self employed and my number is 'out there' and they think it's ok to call a business. Thing is, if you are a sole trader, you are 'covered' under the individual TPS rules - but call centres seem not to know that (or care...)

they completely ruin my train of thought and therefore waste a lot more of my time (work time, unpaid, remember) than the short space it takes me to tell them to sling their hook...

I'm usually polite, sometimes play with them, sometimes just say 'I'm putting the phone down, goodbye' but it always leaves me distracted, if not steaming with rage!!

I have to do soemting about it cos sometimes we get more than 10 a day. I'm goiing to go through the answers above and pick out a few choice ones!!

My husband once shouted 'F*** off and get a proper job' at a caller and she phoned back a couple of minutes later (we were all in stitches, he doesn't usually lose his temper) and told my son she had never been so insulted in her life. He told her 'you haven't been doing that job very long then have you' !!

they bring out the worst in us all!!

Cheers
Linda

nzseries1

klarapie wrote: »

It doesn't take much to calmly and politely ask to be taken off the database. How hard is that? No tactics needed.

It's not hard to ASK.
What IS hard is getting the company to actually do it.

realised

I haven't really received many marking calls since registering with TPS but on a slight tangent, a few months ago, I was walking in the city when a charity stopped me. The conversation went like:

"Hello. How would you feel about donating £2 a month to XXX charity to help the children?"

Me: " I'm sorry I'm a student, I barely have any money"

Man: "May I ask you how much that Starbucks cost?"

Me: "..... =\..."

Didn't know what to say after that!:rotfl:In the end I listened to what he had to say and one thing I took home after the conversation was not to buy unecessay (sp?) overpriced starbucks. Money is better off in my pocket or to a charity of MY Choice!

Mr_Creosote

I used to work in a number of call centres as a student. Any caller who was excessively rude or tried to deafen us with whistles etc OR tried the old 'there's someone at the door' before leaving us on hold for ages would go down on the 'hit list'. We were used to 'not interested thank you' followed by the phone being put down - that was fine, but out and out rudeness was to be punished!

This was a list of telephone numbers and names (or just made up names if we didn't have the real ones) that we would fill into websites for !!!!!!, insurances, finance and anything else we could think of in between calls OR for the worst offenders (the 'black list') some saddos would take their details home and spend hours on the internet finding ways of spreading their details far and wide to make their life a misery. Even if they were TPS registered there were sure to be some foreign call centres that would still call. You try proving to the ICO how a !!!!!! site got your details!

A.Jones

realised wrote: »

"Hello. How would you feel about donating £2 a month to XXX charity to help the children?"

Me: " I'm sorry I'm a student, I barely have any money"

Man: "May I ask you how much that Starbucks cost?"

Me: "..... =\..."

Didn't know what to say after that!

I've had similar before. If they say something like that, just ask them how much they get per person that signs up. Or, say that I'd prefer a cup of coffee rather than helping some unknown child.

borders

On TPS and still get some now and again. There was one Asian call centre that were calling twice a day every day. Wanting to know who supplied my electricity. Eventually told them I had a wind turbine and a water wheel in my back garden and generated my own electricity. Were they interested in buying the surplus electricity from me?

Havent called me since so I guess they dont want my surplus.