Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

maureenjscott

Ive found many of these answers hilarious and have to a certain extent done most of them myself, ie let them think they have a sale and then explain its not my house, private let etc or left the phone sitting while answering the door/turning off oven/etc.

However, i also empathise with those who do the job and try not to be rude unless as mentioned before its the umpteenth time the same company have called and have not taken you off the database!

when i was a student i did 4hours on a thursday evening working for a kitchen sales company - we had no 'database' as such but merely ripped pages out of the phone book, working down and scoring through each name that we got an answer from!! I assume things have improved since then and i would hope that when i ask to be removed and not called back that this would happen. (And whenever i get sales calls from that same kitchen company - i simply laugh, hysterically and hang up!)

mo x

DVardysShadow

brandedcentaur wrote: »

What is the point of being rude to some poor wage slave who is just trying to earn a living? YES, we all hate receiving these calls and NO they should not be allowed.

I hate them as much as anybody else, but I always remember that, at the other end of the line, there is someone who has had the guts to go out and find a job (ANY job!) rather than sit in the house or pub, moaning about there not being any work!

Either say "No thank you, sorry" or buy a trueCall. There is no need to be rude or waste their time. Those people are paid commission and you are just breaking their will to work at all.

Actually, I would rather they did sit in the house or the pub than annoy me in my house. I would like to see their will to work on cold calls totally broken. It is nothing personal, but they do know they are annoying their victims

klarapie wrote: »

Hi,

I've been reading this post with interest, as I've done cold calling for jobs in the past.
Let me just say that charities are not put off by TPS, they get through on a technicality. And numbers are taken from internet surveys and the like.

As an ex caller, I know a lot of the tricks people use. What I just want to say to all of you is that do you know that cold calling sales jobs are some of the only fast, available jobs in the market at the minute? They are paid low amounts when they're desperate for work, and have axes above their heads for not meeting targets, or sufficiently pushing customers who say they have no money. We are trained not to take rebukes at face value, if you want to think about it, you often lie that you couldn't spare 2 pounds a month. I'm unemployed and struggling, but even I could spare that. If you argue with them, they're trained to objection handle.

What used to really really annoy me, is when customers hang up on you/make an excuse/say you're busy.... because company policy means we have to call them back!
If you don't want callbacks, SAY you don't want callbacks, and to come off the database. I got to the stage where I was even telling this to customers... I got reprimanded for it by the company though...
After you call them back after they were busy the first time, they say 'oh, you already called me', expecting you to apologise and ring off, but I used to ask questions regarding what I was calling about, and watch them stutter answers.
I'm not proud of cold calling, but I've worked a lot in customer service, and I am one of the far less pressurising, sympathetic callers, and I am always polite and expect people to be polite back, and it's infuriating when people are rude.

I think that the people who don't deal well with cold calling have assertiveness problems themselves. It doesn't take much to calmly and politely ask to be taken off the database. How hard is that? No tactics needed.
Cold callers often hate their jobs, and need to do it to stay afloat, so give them a break and just be polite and grown up about it, and you can be just as effective.

My personal experience of being asked to be taken off the data base is that it never happens. Personally, I would like to break the will of every person employed in cold calling. I would like it to become a highly paid job because no one has the will to do it. It is the fact that it is so cheap which makes it so prevalent.

cymruangel

My favourite response to a cold call was entirely legitimate.
Some friends and I were editing a film at university, four of us were sat in a study bedroom, and as there wasn't a great deal of room, the 2 girls were sat on the bed.
Cue call from credit card company (CC):
CC: Hello, may I speak to Mr Blank please?
MB: Speaking
CC: I'm calling from ColdCallcard, and I'd like to ask you a few questions, and the call will be recorded for training purposes.
MB: (winking at us) Well, that's fine, but I should just say that I am in the middle of making a film, and I have two girls on my bed right now (girls giggle on cue)

All of which was true, but funnily enough the caller hung up!

klarewithak

If you suspect the call may be a call centre, answer the phone altering your voice and saying "You rang", in the mode of Lurch from The Adams Family. If it is someone you know you can have a laugh about it. Also, I place the phone near the radio or tv when cold called. Sometimes I am really rude to the automated voice introducing some calls.:D

Nuuk

I also use the deterrent of asking for money.

Caller: May I ask you such and such a question?

Me: Certainly

Caller: Thank you (and asks question)

Me: Before I answer, I am obliged to inform you that I have a set charge of £200 for supplying this information. Please start by giving me the name of the person to whom the invoice should be addressed to.

And without fail, I have always got a polite 'thank you and sorry to have disturbed you'.

davidwatkin

My best effort, which came spontaneously, was when phoned about replacement windows I said I didn't want them, the caller asked if this was because of cost. My reply was 'No aesthetics'. I hung up during the long pause...

My youngest daughter, then aged about 14, told a cold caller to go away (in no uncertain terms) and hung up. They called back immediately and called her a stroppy !!!!!!

A.Jones

If I am in a hurry I usually reply in Italian or French.


If I want a longer conversation, then my answers are usually along the lines of ...


Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

(SHOUTING) Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

I can hear you now. My name is Michael and I fought in the war.

Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

Did you see that final of the snooker with Steve Davis?

I saw a lot of action in the war.

Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

Were you in the war?

Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

Which side were you on? You weren't with the gerries were you?

Are you bringing me my dinner tonight.

Oh, well I didn't like the chicken yesterday, it was too dry.

Can you repeat that please, I haven't got my hearing aid in.

My name is Michael and I fought in the war.

I had chicken yesterday and it was lovely. I ate it during the snooker final with Steve Davis.




Another thing I have done in the past is say can they wait a minute because I am on the toilet, and then do some straining noises, with the odd "oh jesus". Or turn a tap on, and place the phone next to it and shout from a distance that it is a bad line.

minerva_windsong

brewerdave wrote: »

colin_tomlinson's reply reminds me of story from quite a few years ago - a mate's g/friend answered the door virtually starkers to Jehovah's Witnesses/Mormons? on a Saturday morning - cool as a cucumber she asked them in - but they'd have to wait til she and her boyfriend had finished what they were doing!!!
Apparently got rid of them!!

One of my housemates at uni regularly answered the door (when no one was expecting anyone to visit I hasten to add!) wearing only a towel. It worked surprisingly well at getting rid of Jehovah's Witnesses, teenage chavs 'trick or treating'/'carol singing' etc.

I normally just say, "Sorry, I'm not interested, please take me off the database and don't call this number again" and then hang up.

consumers_revenge wrote: »

2 ways - my phones next to my PC speakers. So I just say hang on and leave them listening to blondie's.....hanging on the telephone

That is brilliant!

scotsbob wrote: »

I use the Anti Telemarketing counter script.
It can be found here

http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html

*makes mental note to use that one next time* Though possibly not at work, where I seem to spend most of my day on the phone to people trying to sell me stuff...

A.Jones

klarapie wrote: »

I think that the people who don't deal well with cold calling have assertiveness problems themselves. It doesn't take much to calmly and politely ask to be taken off the database. How hard is that? No tactics needed.
Cold callers often hate their jobs, and need to do it to stay afloat, so give them a break and just be polite and grown up about it, and you can be just as effective.

Personally, I think the people that do it are ****. I couldn't care about their situation. If they hate their job and know what they are doing is wrong, then they should not do it. If I have time, I will waste theirs.

akela987

klarapie wrote: »

Hi,

It doesn't take much to calmly and politely ask to be taken off the database. How hard is that?

If only that were the case! I am always polite and try my best to get taken off the database but some companies take no notice of my polite request. We have to resort to other tactics.