Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

DaveC07510

Door callers get short shrift.
"What? Not interested. If I want it, I'll call you." Slam

Phones I have a bit of fun. Although I am TPS, a few still get through.

Me: "Hallo."

Them: "Hallo Sir, I am..."

Me: "Stop now. How did you get this number?"

Them: "I er, it is in the directory." or similar.

Me: "It is NOT in the directory. This is a secure Government line. Get off it right now."

(most hang up, however, one hardy soul from somewhere in the North didn't)

Them: "But I am only..."

Me off to one side: "Yes this must be him. I'll keep him talking"

Me: "OK then mate, I'm all ears."

He hung up!

Xpietina

Working in a funeral home, I get inundated with these calls....Grr! I normally say, in my funeral voice..."I'm sorry, I'm dealing with a very upset family at the moment. Is your call more important than that?" Well, that's when I'm being nice! At other times, I normally ask them if I can sell them a pre-payment funeral and inform them that I can do them a great deal on solid oak finish coffin! Or I tell them the boss is on maternity leave....it's worked for about five years now. OR, if they are really persistant, I mean every hour, on the hour, I tell them that I'm up to my neck dressing a putrid body! Amazing how fast some folk put the 'phone down! Hahaa!

wildthing01

bettyboo71 wrote: »

I've read about the first five pages then just felt that its pointless to read any more.
As some people have already said, there is no need to be rude to someone who is just doing their job.
I have worked for Ipsos MORI for over four years now and tbh I've probably heard every thing that's been suggested here - and then some!
I appreciate that this thread is about sales calls but most of you probably don't bother to establish what the purpose of the call is before you start abusing someone.
I'm pretty thick-skinned and my attitude is 'if you're sad enough to waste your time abusing me while I'm being paid to listen to it' but I have seen young kids in their first ever job who don't come back because of the abuse some inconsiderate person has hurled at them.
There is just one last thought I'd like to leave you with - 9 out of our top 10 clients are public sector organisations and a lot of the surveys that we do are surveys that these (mostly) government-funded organisations are obliged to do to assess their services etc. So, if you like to waste the calling-companies money by keeping them on the phone, you might like to bear in mind that its actually YOU that's paying for that call .

the thing is, the 'hunt' was about rebuking SALES calls - these are NOT public funded services, they are private companies trying to sell you stuff. reputable survey companies like ipsos mori usually only call people who have signed up for phone surveys and have provided their number for that purpose. i would have no prob with that. but, if someone is going to invade my family time uninvited, to try and sell me something that i don't want or need, then i think they're proably fair game.

i'm not saying you have to be rude - in fact while i was reading this the other day, a bloke from npower called - as soon as he said where he was calling from, i politely said 'i'm afraid i'm not interested,thanks'. he immediately said, 'no problem, so to have bothered you', and hung up. now, that has left me with a far better impression of npower, than if he had been pushy or aggressive and therefore makes me more likely to consider them as a potential energy supplier in the future. the companies with really aggressive/pushy tactics don;t realise that they're doing themselves a disservice...

blythespirit_3

Many, many years ago I worked in a call centre - so I give callers one shot. If it's from a company I'm not familiar with - it's a cold call as far as I'm concerned. I don't care if there's some 6 degrees of separation relationship to a company I have used. My business was with them. Answer: 'I'm not interested, please remove me from your database.'

With a good 90% of them - that is not enough. Recently I had over a dozen calls in 2 days from one of them. Each time I politely gave them enough time to tell me why they were calling. My 'mistake' was agreeing to answer a few survey questions. I rarely do, unless it's with companies I am familiar with, and this person claimed to be calling on behalf of a group of companies - 2 of which I am a long term customer. Within 6 questions - alarm bells were going off. It seemed more like a telephone 'phishing' scam than a survey and not only was I alarmed, I was p'd off. I told them that I was no longer interested in participating in the 'survey' and I wanted to be removed from the database. They pushed for me to complete the survey, I refused, then I put the phone down. Eleven phone calls and 'I am not interested in participating - remove me from your database.' *click*'s later and I was absolutely incandescent. I demanded to speak to a supervisor, I demanded to speak to the supervisor's supervisor, and when they refused - I unleashed the demons of hell on them and promised to report them for their constant harassment. Finally speaking to the supervisor's supervisor, I calmly explained the situation and that I wanted to be removed from their database because I was not interested in their survey and did not want to be contacted a 13th time. He said to me 'We keep ringing back because you did not complete the survey. If you will just complete the survey....' My response to him is not suitable for the ears of seasoned sailors and was given at a volume that probably made ears bleed for at least a mile radius around my house. But there wasn't a 13th call.

And it's experiences like that which lead to topics like this. "No" means "No" - and it shouldn't take a dozen phone calls to reach that conclusion.

But I can also say that as a former call centre rep - the unusual/funny refusals made life worth living. No one is sat in a typical call centre making cold calls and thinking 'Now this is what I want to do with the rest of my life - I love my job!' You're being paid to ring people and perform multiple miracles - and if you succeed (enough), the pittance you're getting might actually start to resemble a wage. I did it because there were no other jobs going and I was too proud to sign on.

I had plenty of numbers I marked as 'NI-DNC' (not interested - do not call) that didn't bother me because they were failures - simply because people were creative in getting out of the call or saying they were not interested. It made a huge difference to being constantly hung up on or otherwise abused.

Two of the funniest I recall were the guy who started doing the stereotypical heavy breathing of an obscene phone call (I could his his friends laughing in the background - so I found it more amusing than creepy) and sweetly said, 'It sounds like you might be busy at the moment, would you prefer I phone back in 2 minutes?' (He said no, unsurprisingly, but I had my subtle dig back and the call ended in laughter from both of us. lol) The other one I have vivid memories of was the person who kept trying to order a pizza from me. I'd ask him something on my script and he'd ask me about pizza toppings. It was random and bizarre and made the rest of the hang ups and rudeness much more tolerable.

Myself, I usually tell the obvious cold callers (kitchens, drives, double glazing, etc) something really random and ridiculous. 'I'd LOVE a drive - but I live on the first floor and don't actually own the property and I'm technically trespassing the second I set foot outside my front door - could you build a drive with a ramp? Maybe I could put an external door in upstairs...' (True situation about having to trespass across 2 other properties just to get in my front door. lol) Kitchens, I'll tell them that I want Ainsley Harriott's kitchen. Not just like it - I WANT THAT ONE. I've also done the Dom Joly Trigger Happy TV 'HELLO???!!!!??? YA - I'M ON MY MOBILE!!! REALLY NOT INTERESTED' and just shout abnormally loud in response to their questions and interject whatever random stuff I can come up with until they give up.

typos1

Excuse me owen-8 but you apppear not to be able to read, I said its a different matter if they are LYING or they persistantly CALL BACK, or they say its a SURVEY when it isnt, but then just tell em theyre lying and hang up. Is it so hard to politely say no thanks and hang up for you? Clearly it is which says far more about you than the cold callers.

Yeah, The Prodigy I work in market research cold calling (often for charities or for government departments, trying to find out what the public thinks and what they want) and have to deal with impolite, incompetant idiots every day, although most people are polite. Cold calling is the most efficient way for companies to make sales/get opinions thats why they do it, they get most of their sales/surveys done that way, so people obviously do trust companies who call, otherwise they simply wouldnt do it.

I dont like paying taxes, but I dont prank call the tax office. Grow up and get a life and maybe some lessons in articulating yourself properly. I agree about prize draw calls, though they are scams.

theloft, using a siren down the phone could seriously injure someone, that is tantamount to assault-I m surprised the moderators havent removed your post. These people are clearly trying to earn a living.

Spot on Bettyboo71, couldnt have said it better myself-I ve heard it all before as well, they think theyre being clever but they usually just look stupid. Why do people find it so hard to politelly say no thank you??

Wildthing01, you are wrong, market researchers have to cold call anyone within a given area and the research is often on behalf of government departments trying to find out what people want.

Sometimes a sales call can be good news so its always worth asking what they want before you dismiss them-I used to work for a gas & electric company about 8 years ago (when BG/local electric co had over 60% of the market but were the most expensive by a large margin) and I was persistant, not just cos I only got paid if I signed someone up, but cos I felt I was doing good by reducing peoples bills. When I made people listen and look at our prices compared to what they were paying, they almost always signed up, I got paid, they saved money was a rewarding job. I was doing exactly what this site encourages, lots of people would have paid far more money for their fuel than they needed to if I hadnt been persistant and they almost always apologised for their attitude at the begining.

Thread should be deleted as it has nothing to do with money saving.

I had an unsolicited call from my bank the other day, had I taken the attitude of the majority of poasters on here, I would never had found out that they were calling to tell me someone had fraudulently used my card, the transaction would have gone though and I would have been out of pocket...

bestyman

If you are TPS registered and these criminals call you then they deserve no politeness. I treat them as I would treat someone stealing my car or nicking my wallet - they are simply breaking the law and are nothing more than a common thief.

Would all those who post suggesting that we are nice to them also suggest that we should be nice to burglars and car thieves.
I incurr financial losses of hundreds of pounds a year due to call divert charges that I pay from my landline to mobile, not to mention many hours lost working.

savemoney

I got one last week from over seas he asked for someone else at first, then asked for me, he said he represented a debt management company, I said I dont owe anything or defaulted only debt is mortgage, he then hung up

bzd

I can't remember where I heard this suggestion but I've tried it a couple of times. Start answering the questions in a robot-like voice, or maybe like a computer station announcer, with things like "For what REASON do YOU wish to KNOW this?". I actually found it quite therapeutic.

You can get creative and start adding on things like "Press 1 for 'I am curious.' Press 2 for 'I am scripted to ask you.' Press 3 for 'I wish to annoy you.' Please hold for any other response."

bzd

wondermum_2

We keep getting the recorded 'want to be debt free' messages on the work phone.

I work for a finance company..............:D

bekki007

This is my uncle's tatic for getting rid of cold callers:
Pretend you're really interested in their product/service and say you've got to go and find some paperwork. Then go and mow the lawn or something, it'll cost the company money as they hang on waiting for you and they won't call again.

ps: if you're feeling really evil go back after at five minute intervals and tell them you're still trying to find it........ see how long they'll hang on