Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

thundachild

A few points from someone who has worked in a call centre in the past:

People who leave the phone of the hook: Great for the caller, he / she can chat / read a book etc. at his co expense while your phone line is tied up.

People who are rude: Can brighten up a dull day, would often receive more frequent call backs so other staff could join in the fun :rotfl:. Remember this is a dull / stressful job and they have more power because they can call back and hang up at will.

People who use inventive responses, again see above, might increase your call frequency.

Best response: No thank you. please remove me from you list.

If they call back mention TPS and possible fine and ask for callers details.

(Note "Not interested" is a red rag to a bull - all thier training is directed at turning "Not Interested" into a sale)

Hope this helps.

PhiltheBear

I know these poor sods are only doing it because they can't get jobs elsewhere (and are often students working part time to support themselves while studying) but...

I find the following to be effective:

1. After they've started say "Can you give me the security code?"
When they ask "What security code?" reply "I can't answer you until you give me the security code".
After that - whatever they say - just repeat "I can't answer you until you give me the security code".
They will give up.

2. Tell them you are so pleased they've called as you've just found Salvation through Jesus and you'd like to share it with them (do this in a really excited manic voice). Make up the next bits - for example - "Can you get down on your knees so we can pray together?" etc. Hours of fun.

3. Let them go through the whole sales spiel - to the point at which they want you to buy. Then say "Can I get one of those at the village store?" When they say no - tell them that you only ever buy stuff from the village store because you don't trust strangers. This works particularly well if you use a 'country' accent e.g. local yokel.

4. If the sales call is from abroad (e.g. American / Indian accent) pretend not to understand them. Keep asking them to repeat everything they say. When you get tired of this game (and some people can keep it going for hours) say "Look I'm really sorry but it's obvious to me that you don't speak Welsh so I'm going to have to ring off". And do so.

One point - if someone phones and asks you to confirm ANY details, name, address, etc. just say "I'm sorry but I have no idea who you are and I'm not giving out any personal information over the phone because you might be a criminal". This works very well with debt-collectors too.

Catwoman103

If they're selling double glazing I tell them they fitted it to my house last week. If it's clearing debts, i haven't got any etc etc. They soon !!!!!! off.

donewalking

We don't get phone cold callers but the amount of door cold callers we get a month must be 15 to 20 so i now have a notice above my front door saying:-
"If you don't have an appointment DON'T bother to knock as a door in the face often offends"
and it works we haven't had any callers for the last 2 weeks.

aliplaysdrums

I get alot of these companies ringing me at work. Normally about 5 mins before the shop opens. Its always an automated system of "Hi, I'm Susan Boyle. have you been in a slip trip or fall/are you in debt etc etc etc"

I ALWAYS mess with them. Great fun. To be connected, press 5. Great!

For the debt ones, my personal favourite was

"Hi, Dave speaking, how can I help"

"I'm in a bit of debt, can you help me?"

"Of course sir..."

"See, its not exactly legal debt. Do you deal with Big Tony?"

"Sorry sir? Big Tony"

"Yeah, he's a loan shark. He's after me. I cant pay him. Please help me"

Thats where they hung up. Shame. I was having fun!



The slip/trip/fall favourite.

"Hi, I've had an accident at work, and I'd like to sue."

"ok, where is it you work?"

(I tell them then say)
"But its not my workplace I'd like to sue"

"Ok... who is it then?"

"You. I fell over trying to get this phone. Had you never rung me, I wouldnt have fallen."

Normally have to repeat this a few times. They aren't all that clever. Then they hang up. I assume that the calls to my work are on an auto-dialler system, so they wont be taking us off the register. Oh well. Normally puts me in a good mood for work!

antonia1

To those who have worked in telemarketing and suggest that the person recieving the call should ask to be removed from the database, I simply say this: Why should I? It is not my fault you couldn't get another job, its is not my fault your bosses were mean, it is not my fault that YOU are harassing ME in my own home.

On the street I will be as polite as anyone, but inmy own home I reserve the right to be having a bad day or wanting to be left alone.

Having said that, I usually am polite and I find that taking down the name, address and company of who is calling me and informing them that if I receive any more calls I will be issuing them with an invoice for my time stops any subsequent calls.

aliplaysdrums

I had a woman keep calling me at work for someone that used to work there. I told her that he didnt work there any more. She still rang back same time every week. One day I got miffed off and told her he'd moved to Australia. She rang back 2 weeks later (presuming she spoke to him) asking why I had told her he had moved to Australia, to which my reply was, "Well, it got rid of you for one week, what do I have to do to get rid of you forever?"

mickyrush

Use the rather crude word for "to make love" followed by the word "off",works a treat!

typos1

How about finding out whether theyre offering a good deal and then thanking them for their time and hangining up if they cant, or taking them up on it if they can?

No need for saying anythng stupid or flirting or saying nothing etc-that just makes the receiver of the call look stupid, unable to communicate properly and socially inept.

Sure, get annoyed if they lie or they keep calling back.

This is THE worst thread I ve seen on Moneysaving expert, its out of place and should be deleted.

12 years ago it was cold callers who used to come round and sign people up for cheaper gas and electricity-that is something this site recommends-proof that a cold call can be of benefit at times.

Also a lot of market research is done by cold calling, how can you argue for better treatment of consumers whilst at the same time encouraging people to be rude and childish to the people who are paid to do this research and find out what it is consumers want?

Hypocritical, remove the thread and concentrate on something worth while.

If people are unable to use the English language to articulate properly, they really shouldnt be using this site or left in charge of a telephone.

rgcol5

Go on to you tube and type in 'Best prank call ever'. Brilliant.