Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

DVardysShadow

Kernow_Kid wrote: »

I managed to keep a cold caller on the phone for just under an hour once.
I was home with a broken leg so I was happy to listen.
He was trying to sell me a conservatory and I just kept going around in circles - asking what colours did they come in, how big did they go, how small, what colours, what was their company, etc...
This was going well until I sensed that even he was going to give up and so I relented and let him have my address:

Apartment 9, Floor 4...

As soon as I said Floor 4, he went mental at me, screaming at how I had wasted his time.
What can I say, I would have loved a conservatory really, it would have been interesting to see them put it up though

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I suppose he also repented of wasting all the time of the peole he had cold called previously. But if he didn't, his rant just makes this all the more funny.

broke_mother_of_students

I don't resent the, usually young, people who make the calls and I think it is both damaging and offensive to blow loud whistles etc. I don't suppose they want to be doing the job either, but at the moment jobs are hard to come by. I am a member of the TPS, so I get very few calls, but if I do get any I tell them they are breaking the law by ringing me and ask them to remove my details. When I have asked some callers if they know what I mean by the TPS I am astounded by how many of the young temporary callers have never heard of it!
Callers at the door are always told that I never buy anything/sign anything at the door, and I never do. If it is double glazing we are always 'moving' or 'this is a rented house'.

JimmyTheWig

broke_mother_of_students wrote: »

If it is double glazing we are always 'moving'.

Surely that gives them a good reason to come back in a few months time as there will be new people who might want to change the old windows...

gomeraman

Have a look at this Youtube cold call response:

double-U,double-U,double-U,dot, youtube.com/watch?v=OD70Zaa3z-0
(sorry not allowed to type actual link, but you can in your browser)

It's from the US (of course!) but could be modified for the UK.

Have fun

finlay666

My favourite method for some time now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCp3b0ev7Cw#t=2m06s

Bit nsfw with some bad language but quality

alister2504

I've found a great one

If I answer on my cordless handset, I go to a corded handset and then place mic to speaker on both phones. Feedback loop, anything said generates a high pitched whistle. Do if for 5 secs, say hang on, do it again till they hang up!

The_Prodigy

I had an English cold caller ring me today at 5.50pm. When he'd finished his brief opening line I told him I'm on the telephone preference service. He said "Well go screw yourself you w*****!"
Before he hung up on me I shouted back "**** you, you ****!"
Needless to say when I did 1471 the caller had withheld their number. No idea what company they claimed to be from because I didn't listen to their patter. Utter scum and just goes to show the calibre of company who use cold calling as a sales technique.

People I know usually ring me on the mobile. I'd guess of the 10 or so calls I receive to my land line each month 7 of them will be cold callers.This is despite my number being registered with TPS.

The government should make cold calling illegal (along with door step cold calling).

robredz

I answer with the speil that the call is being recorded for "their" protection and safety, if that doesn't put them off and they start their patter asking for personal details, I ask for theirs, their line managers name, and then put the phone down. lately, though , as 95% calls on my landline are diallers, I just unplug the phone and people who know me, phone my mobile. But for the BB connection I would not bother with a landline.

coka

The methods I use are quite simple.

I either answer the phone in my native language German and just keep speaking German and pretend not to understand.

Or: I answer with "Hello, City Morgue, how can I help?"
This started out as fun answering the phone when friends rang, but it really gets cold callers off the phone quickly. And you're guaranteed they won't call back!

And if they don't get it, and ask to speak to "Miss xxx" you just go "I'm sorry, is this in relation to the remains of the burn-victim brought in earlier? I'm sorry, I can't realease the remains yet." :A

And if I'm feeling really cruel, I do the city morgue line in German. "Städtisches Leichenschauhaus, kann ich Ihnen weiterhelfen?"

watsoa

I was plagued with calls from gas/electricity suppliers who would always keep calling again if I didn't answer their questions - one person even admitted that until they had received answers they would keep calling.
Next time I received one of these calls I informed them that I did not have gas/electric suppliers as I used bottled gas which was also used to supply a generator for my electricity - no more calls since then.