Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

owen-b

Excuse me Typos, I think there's a stick up your backside, wanna bend over while I pull it out?

THese callers call twice a day every single day. Yeah, I should just get my number taken off the list. I probably will do, but in the meantime I think having a little fun at their expense will neither bring the world to it's knees, nor ruin anyone's life. Like ex-cold-callers have said, these people get paid anyway.

My own personal favourite is to pull up an audio recording I have of NPower's holding music, recorded when I was on hold for 10 minutes the other week when I had to ring THEM back to explain why I was leaving their overpriced service. Anyway, this only works when there's a real person on the other end and 99% of cold calls I get are from recorded machines, which is even more damned annoying.

DVardysShadow

non.a.mousey wrote: »

Just to remind you - (obviously, based on the title of the thread...) this thread doesn't represent the majority of the population, who are quite happy to receive these market research calls, and quite happy to take part in surveys if/when convenient.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

The majority of the population are willing to receive these calls?

You must be stupid. Perhaps you think you have a career in cold calling? :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Philycheesesteak

I give them to my 18 month old daughter, who loves playing with phones and just listen in "Is you dad in" baby talk is all they get back.

My dad made me laugh, when someone called about helping him with his debt. "But I haven't got any debt" he said. "Oh that's ok thank's for your time".
"No no" my dad said, "Tell me more, this debt thing sounds like something I should have"... basically playing the fool but acting deadly serious that he isn't all the ticket.
"No no sir" they said "You don't want debt"
"But you said you'd help me if I had it".


PS TPS Works. Within 2 days of joining instead of getting 2 per day from the previous owner of the number (not the phone annoying that BT recycle after only 3 months) they've virtually stopped. Get one every now and then.

Philycheesesteak

Cold callers hillarious vid:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=11759664

The_Prodigy

typos1 wrote: »

How about finding out whether theyre offering a good deal and then thanking them for their time and hangining up if they cant, or taking them up on it if they can?

No need for saying anythng stupid or flirting or saying nothing etc-that just makes the receiver of the call look stupid, unable to communicate properly and socially inept.

Sure, get annoyed if they lie or they keep calling back.

This is THE worst thread I ve seen on Moneysaving expert, its out of place and should be deleted.

12 years ago it was cold callers who used to come round and sign people up for cheaper gas and electricity-that is something this site recommends-proof that a cold call can be of benefit at times.

Also a lot of market research is done by cold calling, how can you argue for better treatment of consumers whilst at the same time encouraging people to be rude and childish to the people who are paid to do this research and find out what it is consumers want?

Hypocritical, remove the thread and concentrate on something worth while.

If people are unable to use the English language to articulate properly, they really shouldnt be using this site or left in charge of a telephone.

Ẁork in telemarketing do you? It's the only explanation for your response. Nobody in the world likes cold callers. Who the hell would trust someone who rings them out of the blue trying to sell them something? Telling people they've won a prize in a competition they never entered is highly suspicious.

theloft

We are constantly getting overseas calls offering 'free' extra holdays, extra weeks, guarantees to sell our timeshare etc. As Overseas calls are not covered by the Telephone Preference Service, we have tried all of the above tips, leaving the phone saying 'just a minute, I'll see if he is in' , not answering at all, being completely rude etc. but still they continue. Our latest is to use a football siren or klaxon down the phone. We are hoping this will do the trick !!!

carolt

Anyone with v small children - I found handing the phone to my 2 year old worked wonders!

She listened intently, then started babbling about her dolly to a no doubt rather bemused audience!

She was happy, we were happy - not sure about the cold caller, though...

Another fave was my mum, to a double-glazing company, insisting that their house had no windows. Mot entertaining. They kept saying 'but surely you must have...!', and she'd just keep vehemently repeating that actually, no they didn't. This stand-off lasted for a while, but my mum was having fun, so I think the poor guy at the other end got bored before she did.

madosani

We run a small family business with two offices and 4 office staff, (rest out on sites). We are taking calls daily from a company wishing to speak to our IT manager, the conversation goes as follows:
Them: Hello my name is Sharon (most callers female are called Sharon with an Asian accent?) Can I speak with your It Manager Please.
Us: Sorry we do not have an IT manager
Them: can I speak to someone with regards to your computers?
Us: Computers? I have heard of them?
Them: puzzled Oh!
Us: I can put you through to enid she is on the office typewriter would that help?
them: phone generally put down!!

This usually works, next time they call we change the computer line to Sorry we dont have electric in these parts! (with a real country accent)

It breaks up the day and gives us a giggle - although we did it a day we were being audited by one of our employers and the Auditor could not take us seriously for the rest of the week! (we passed though!)

shazzprozz

before they have a chance to explain what it is they want,i usually but in and tell them straight that i am not interested and they are waisting their time and mine.before they can answer back just say thanks for ringing anyway bye.then hang up. if you speak really fast,they cant get a word in.

bettyboo71

I've read about the first five pages then just felt that its pointless to read any more.
As some people have already said, there is no need to be rude to someone who is just doing their job.
I have worked for Ipsos MORI for over four years now and tbh I've probably heard every thing that's been suggested here - and then some!
I appreciate that this thread is about sales calls but most of you probably don't bother to establish what the purpose of the call is before you start abusing someone.
I'm pretty thick-skinned and my attitude is 'if you're sad enough to waste your time abusing me while I'm being paid to listen to it' but I have seen young kids in their first ever job who don't come back because of the abuse some inconsiderate person has hurled at them.
There is just one last thought I'd like to leave you with - 9 out of our top 10 clients are public sector organisations and a lot of the surveys that we do are surveys that these (mostly) government-funded organisations are obliged to do to assess their services etc. So, if you like to waste the calling-companies money by keeping them on the phone, you might like to bear in mind that its actually YOU that's paying for that call .