Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

nuttywife

it works very well if you tell them you have just been declared bankrupt they hang up very quickly

kaya

its so simple to get rid of them, all you need to say is "please remove my name from your database"
thats the legal bit, if they refuse you report them and they get in some serious trouble, no need for any theatrics, works every time, no arguements, no fuss, no messing around

savemoney

Tried it doesn't work

Currently have a complaint with Ofcom and Otelo about misuse of phone system by talk talk who I suspect got my information from there sister company Onetel, they deny it, but how did they get my number when I don't give it out, and ex directory and a member of TPS

This thread wouldn't exist if we had an effective regulator who banned silent calls which is what I want to happen as most people I suspect don't want these nuisance calls at home

kaya wrote: »

its so simple to get rid of them, all you need to say is "please remove my name from your database"
thats the legal bit, if they refuse you report them and they get in some serious trouble, no need for any theatrics, works every time, no arguements, no fuss, no messing around

titanic40

We've got caller display - if we don't recognise the number we don't pick it up - then its up to them if they leave a message - cold callers never leave messages. Simple!

sjaddy

realised wrote: »

I haven't really received many marking calls since registering with TPS but on a slight tangent, a few months ago, I was walking in the city when a charity stopped me. The conversation went like:

"Hello. How would you feel about donating £2 a month to XXX charity to help the children?"

Me: " I'm sorry I'm a student, I barely have any money"

Man: "May I ask you how much that Starbucks cost?"

Me: "..... =\..."

Didn't know what to say after that!:rotfl:In the end I listened to what he had to say and one thing I took home after the conversation was not to buy unecessay (sp?) overpriced starbucks. Money is better off in my pocket or to a charity of MY Choice!

I had one similar in the street a few years ago when there were about 10 people campaining for the WWF with pandas and the like. I was with OH and when they started the spiel just siad "I don't like wrestling" and walked on. The confused look on the guys face was priceless

DigForVictory

MSE-ers really value their phone time!
We signed up to TPS as soon as we heard of it, as family mealtimes were tough enough without a fool on the phone (and we're still trying to train our parents & siblings!) If we get a UK call centre call, we're polite but clear - no thanks, no callback, better luck next call, bye.

It's the outside the UK squad we have "fun" with.

The best line (certainly the most popular from the audience waiting for their supper perspective) is "What'cha wearing?" with all the leer my husband can pack into that. The line clears in milliseconds... I sometimes worry he'll use it on my sisters but so far so good. The lads have all learned it, but also know that it is not for them to use just yet.

The other I learned from the vicar's wife "I'm sorry, this is the Rectory: we don't own this property". Cleared a lot of calls.

If the phone goes while I'm working, and I really do not want this call now, I apologise "but I've got the VAT here" - I get hung up on often without as much as a good bye. Is VAT infectious by phone?! (It's sort of true - the VAT Account is in a file nearby.)

Reading these posts, I realise that I should make the lads screen calls - anyone who gets our names wrong Has To Have Warhammer 40K explained to them... That will make for three happy lads & a hopefully decreasing number of very bemused 3rd country callers. (Should you have a spare hour sometime, just ask a child. If they don't know Warhammer, they say so, but if they do, be sure you're sitting comfortably.)

Barrington_Barry_Magee

:rotfl:I ask the caller to clearly state the purpose of their call.
The caller states the purpose and then I ask them to hold on.
At which point I place my telephone near to my keyboard and type for around 6 to 10 seconds.
Then I ask the caller “are you still there?” to which he/she will say “yes”
Then say, “ The computer says No”
Usually the caller falls to grasp or understand what I have said so he/she will say
“I beg your pardon” or “could you repeat that”
So I say again “ The computer says No”
If the caller then asks or states he/she does not understand I again say hold on, and repeat my actions, playing the keyboard which the caller will hear and then go through the routine stating “ The computer says No”. At some stage it will click with the caller that he/she has contacted a complete Nutcase or if he/she does not get the message will continue to ask questions to bring you on board his/her line of thinking. You must continue the simple processes of asking the computer and provide the answer, being the “ The computer says No”
On one occasion I received a call from India and the male caller became so confused that he brought his supervisor to the telephone to try and work out the problem, he in turn brought his manager on line to resolve to problem that the “ The computer says No” . Remember it is the caller’s telephone cost, so have a little fun.

NickC_4

I've litterally just got to the end of reading this thread when I got a txt message:
We are getting clients debt free in under 12 months. Not IVA, Debt man or loan. If you are already on a DM plan why? For help reply YES to this text
Is there a standard reply for this?

The other anoying thing I have at the moment at least twice a week, (but fortunately getting fewer) when I get home from work there is a message on my answer machine which is a recorded message that starts something like:
This is not an advert, this is a public service anouncement..."
That gets deleted straight away. I wouldn't mind so much, but I've had dozens!

As for why some people ask why cold calls bother people: I'm off work sick today, so if I fall asleep (which I plan to do after lunch), but get disturbed, I shall be really p****d off. I am usually polite to callers and explain I am ex-directory, TPS etc, but today may be an exception, especially if they sound foreign!

Nick.

NickC_4

NickC wrote: »

The other anoying thing I have at the moment at least twice a week, (but fortunately getting fewer) when I get home from work there is a message on my answer machine which is a recorded message that starts something like:
This is not an advert, this is a public service anouncement..."
That gets deleted straight away. I wouldn't mind so much, but I've had dozens!

Finally, they phoned when I was here (fortuntely not asleep yet), so I pressed the button and got through to a real person (just outside London apparently). He said he would remove me from the database, so fingers crossed.

nzseries1

kaya wrote: »

its so simple to get rid of them, all you need to say is "please remove my name from your database"
thats the legal bit, if they refuse you report them and they get in some serious trouble, no need for any theatrics, works every time, no arguements, no fuss, no messing around

Nice in theory, but you live in a make-believe world where companies actually do what you ask them.

A lot of the time they don't remove your name. No matter how many times you ask.

And to be able to report them, you need to get the name of the company and for that you often have to actually let them go through with their pitch, which takes time and effort.

Being rude and blunt is the only way, I'm afraid.

I used to get called constantly by Eversheds solicitors looking for some guy who didn't live at my house. I kept telling them not to ring, but they kept ringing, multiple times a day. Eventually, I went down to the Eversheds head office (lucky it was near my house) and went to reception and said "I'm not leaving until either you take my number off your database or we get the police involved". I never got called again after that. (This isn't quite the same as cold-calling I realise, but it's similar)