Great 'Best Cold Caller Rebukes' Hunt

Terry_D

A couple of weeks ago on a Sunday morning about 9.30 my wife and I were in bed engaged in what married couples sometimes do on a Sunday morning when the phone rang - a cold caller! After introducing himself, "Have you got a moment sir?" Slightly breathless I answered "Do you know what coitus interuptus means". "No" came the puzzled reply, "It'll only take a few minutes".
I always switch the phone to speaker when I answer a call as I'm a bit mutton Geoff so my wife hears all of this.
"Have we got a few minutes?" I say to her. "Ask him if he can hold on a few minutes because I'm not sure I can!" she replied.
He mumbled an apology and rang off. We couldn't stop laughing for ages.

Running_man

one of my favourites-

Caller -Hello may i speak with ??????

My reply -certainly you dont have to ask my permission

Then put the phone down

Loolysu

I am not a cold caller or a sales person but I do work in a call centre I think you are very irresponsible advising people to blow w whistle down the phone. Do you even realise the damage that could cause to someones hearing. O.k the calls are EXTREMELY annoying but at end of day they are only doing a job I don't think they deserve loss of hearing or damage to their eardrum.

[Deleted User]

Loolysu wrote: »

I am not a cold caller or a sales person but I do work in a call centre I think you are very irresponsible advising people to blow w whistle down the phone. Do you even realise the damage that could cause to someones hearing. O.k the calls are EXTREMELY annoying but at end of day they are only doing a job I don't think they deserve loss of hearing or damage to their eardrum.

Very true - the whistle method should only be reserved for disgusting pervert calls (which are a lot rarer these thank goodness since 1471 etc)

skinse1

I play along and give them names like Mrs Elizabeth Windsor when the mortgage one was going round. (I'm a bloke)

Or my other half says they must be calling about the advert to buy a bookcase and then goes on to try and flog them it.

I also refuse to confirm any details to a company who wants to talk to me but to whom I do not wish to talk to. Along the lines of.... Can you just confirm XXX, Me No, I have no idea who you are or any means of verifying your identity, them - but I'm calling from xxxx, Me - So you claim but you could be anybody so I won't confirm details as it's you who wishes to talk to me, I have no desire to talk to you. They can't then proceed as they'd be breaking the Data Protection Act if they do and I then demand they write to me and I will respond in kind

non.a.mousey

Wow.

I think some of the responses here demonstrate a real lack of consideration for your fellow human beings.

Though, some might call me biased - I call, and interview, many people in a day. I won't speak for sales calls, as I'm not familiar with how they work but I can kind of speak for market research calls - which some of you have referred to (and lumped straight in with sales calls, though they are quite different).

Usually you'll be receiving a call because a MR firm has been commissioned to do research for an organisation that is in some way relevant to you. This relevance does vary, but nevertheless all they want to do is ask you some questions. Often an organisation that you currently or previously received a product/service from want information that will help them work out how to improve. Sometimes it'll be about brand awareness (which, I agree, may be less directly connected to you - so of course you're less likely to take part.) True market research never leads to you receiving any kind of sales calls or anything of the sort....

Do you really think that an organisation that wants to find out how to IMPROVE actually wants to upset or inconvenience you?

So they'll ask you to give up some of your time. They're not asking for money, they're just asking to speak to you about YOUR experiences and/or what YOU think. I don't know about anyone else, but even before I started in market research I would have LOVED the opportunity to tell people what I thought... (but maybe that's just me.) There is a good reason that market research calls are not part of TPS.

I get the impression that (with the theme of this site and all!) on average the users posting on this forum are more likely to complain about a product or service than any other random sample of people, myself definetely included. But as it looks like you're also more likely to 'have fun' winding up a market research caller then your views just aren't going to get heard. I've noticed this trend at work myself.

If the reason that you don't want to participate is because you're concerned about the credibility of a market research company, then you can always ask for some evidence. If they are legitimate, they'll be able to provide it, they will give you the opportunity to check, and possibly call you back.


Some tips when dealing with market research (or survey) telephone calls:

- If you just do not want to participate in a survey just say so! It will save you, (and the caller!) time and hassle. If you say "I haven't got time" or even hang up, they simply don't know that you don't want to take part. Your opinion is valuable - as MR companies have to interview a fair and representative sample to get accurate results, so they'll call you back or try to arrange a time to call back with you...which is annoying for them and you if when it comes down to it, you just don't want to do it.

- If you've got a concern or have another reason and you might actually be willing to do it then try to tell them. (Yes, this is totally up to you....) They might be able to reassure you or be more flexible to your needs - at which point you're in a better position to make a decision.

- If they want to speak to someone in particular, let them speak to the person that they want to speak to. They've provided this as a contact number for themselves, and it's not your right to decide whether another person participates in a survey - they may be interested in the cause.

The funny little games you've described here, while they might be amusing for you, they'll be (normally very very mildly) frustrating for whoever is calling and in the end they usually cost you, or another consumer money at some point. (Particularly likely with council or government funded surveys! etc) On a personal level I couldn't care less - I get paid well and quite enjoy speaking to unpleasant people (there isn't one response I've read here that I reckon I couldnt handle! ) and often manage to turn them around because they realise they're just being nasty for the sake of it. But I do recognise that if everyone did this then organisations wouldn't be able to get the valuable information that they need cost-effectively.

When it comes to phone contact - as far as I'm concerned your telephone is your responsibility. Your telephone is used to contact you, and unless you've given your number to only very specific people, then others will call. If it is inconvenient for you to answer the phone, then don't. If the ringing is inconvenient then turn it off.

And once you get to the phone (which YOU switched on and YOU CHOSE to answer) and you don't want to take part, or you haven't got the time right this second...just say so. Easy peasy!

Sagz_2

I'm almost sorry I never get any cold calls after reading all the posts.

NB: almost

addcoff

i find a very effective way to discourage them is to just keep saying hello as if i cannot hear them eventually they get fed up and it amuses me to see just how hard they try to be heard:j

non.a.mousey

addcoff wrote: »

i find a very effective way to discourage them is to just keep saying hello as if i cannot hear them eventually they get fed up and it amuses me to see just how hard they try to be heard:j

Haha me too. I LOVE laughing while watching people try do their jobs! Hehehe

cattarn

As a singleton I used to get a lot of calls asking to speak to Mrs Cattarn - I told the callers that I was sorry, but my mother didn't live here and I couldn't give her number to strangers - many, especially those from overseas, hung up in confusion. Others apologised, but I told them it was too late - if they couldn't get my title right I didn't wish to talk to them. Thank them for calling and put the phone down. Didn't get any return calls later either.